Friends West Coast Spinoff
by Paul8148
Summary: 215 is up. Spinoff of Friend with J/R and Ross moving to L.A. Please read and review
1. Default Chapter

FWC ~ 101 TOW The New Start ~  
  
(Joey is standing at the door with the Producer and Katie.)  
  
Joey: Really. She is going to be my new co-star. That is great news. Why don't you guys come on in?  
  
(They come in and walk into the living room where anyone else is.)  
  
Rachel: Honey who was at the door?  
  
Joey: It is the producer of the show Jim and my new co-star Katie.  
  
Katie: Hey you guys. Long time no see.  
  
Rachel: Oh hi Katie. (Upset.) How have you been? Still screwing the cast members of second-rate play.  
  
Joey: Hey. I was in that second-rate play.  
  
Katie: Funny. So you married one friend and had a kid with of another?  
  
Jim: Is there a problem?  
  
Joey: Oh nothing. It just Katie and I worked together before.  
  
Ross: So that what you call doing it in show biz.  
  
Jessie: Wow that is weird. Working with an ex-girlfriend. Man I not sure if I would allow Ross to do that. However I did like that new teacher name Julie you was talking with in your office yesterday. You remember that Asian one from New York too.  
  
(Rachel and Joey stare at Ross.)  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Katie and Jim leaves.)  
  
Rachel: (Staring at Ross.) Julie? Do you know how from New York Ross?  
  
Ross: (Worried.) Yeah I do. We use to go to grad school together.  
  
Jessie: Really. Hey did it you tell me about how you hook up with an Asian chick in that you went to grad school with.  
  
Ross: No she is the… Well she is my ex-girlfriend. But I left her for Rachel.  
  
Rachel: After he made a list.  
  
Jessie: Why would you hire your ex-girlfriend?  
  
Ross: Because she is good. And beside she married to some geek she in love with. Russ something.  
  
Rachel: Well he is one hell of a geek.  
  
Joey: Honey maybe we should give them some space.  
  
Rachel: Oh so we can go fight about Katie.  
  
Joey: On the other hand we can sit here and watch.  
  
Jenny: Fight.  
  
(Ross is in his office. Julie and Russ walk in.)  
  
Julie: Hey Ross you want to go to lunch?  
  
Ross: Sure. Let me just finish this paper work.  
  
Russ: Would your girlfriend like to join us?  
  
Ross: Yeah. She is just happy that I hired Julie.  
  
(Jessie walks in.)  
  
Jessie: Hi honey. (Goes to kiss Russ but stops.) Oh my god. I thought Joey was kidding about you two looking alike.  
  
Ross: Hey honey. (They kiss.) You want to join us for lunch?  
  
Jessie: Us?  
  
Julie: Russ and myself.  
  
Ross: Yeah. We heading out right know.  
  
Jessie: That ok. I have some paper work to do.  
  
(Joey and Rachel's. Joey is watching Jenny.)  
  
Joey: Man I going to miss hanging out with you all day. Next week you go to day care because I go to work. (Takes the bottle out of her month.) Come on lets put you down for a nap.  
  
(Joey carries her into her room and inside the crib. Jenny sticks her hands for the polls along the side.)  
  
Joey: Oh you should not be sticking you hand out like that. (Takes her hand and puts it backs inside. He goes pulls his hand out but gets it stuck.) Damn it… Darn I cannot cause around her.  
  
Jenny: Damn it.  
  
Joey: That why.  
  
(Rachel walks inside the house.)  
  
Rachel: Honey I'm home. If Jenny is sleeping we can have our after work fun.  
  
Joey: Oh god Rach your home. I need you help.  
  
(Rachel runs in Jenny's room.)  
  
Rachel: I warned you about that.  
  
Joey: But I was worried she gets her arm stuck.  
  
Rachel: Here. (She pulls the board out. Joey takes her arm out.) I got it stuck the other day.  
  
Joey: (Grabs Rachel.) Look she is asleep.  
  
(He picks her up and takes her into their bedroom. They start making out on the bed when the phone rings.)  
  
Joey: (Picks it upset.) Who the hell is it? Oh hi Katie. (Rachel gets upset.) What cast dinner tonight? Ok I will be there at 7:30.  
  
Rachel: What do you mean a cast dinner?  
  
Joey: Tonight at the Hard Rock Café. You want to come?  
  
Rachel: No. I got some work I need to do.  
  
Joey: (Looks at his watch.) I got at least and an hour and a half before I have to leave.  
  
Rachel: I better go do my work. (Rachel gets up and leaves.)  
  
(Later Rachel and Ross are watching TV at Rachel's.)  
  
Ross: I cannot believe she is jealous.  
  
Rachel: Huh. So you hired you ex-girlfriend. It not like you will be kissing her for your job oh anything.  
  
Ross: I mean she is almost as jealous as you.  
  
Rachel: What? I have every right to be. Unlike some who freak out over some guy they girl friend gives a friendly hug to.  
  
Ross: Oh should I go get the video camera if we going to fight. Phoebe wants us to do that and send the tape to her.  
  
(Jenny starts crying from her room.)  
  
Rachel: (Gets up.) Hey I had a good three hours of peace.  
  
Ross: That's ok. I will get her.  
  
(Ross runs up stares and into her nursery. Joey walks into the house.)  
  
Rachel: You are home early.  
  
Joey: It was not fun without you. (They start to kiss.) Hey lets go finish want we started earlier?  
  
Rachel: Ok. (Rachel jumps on Joey's back. He carries her up the stairs as Ross walks down them.)  
  
Ross: I guess I have to watch the rest of the movie later.  
  
Joey: You do not have to. Kidman and her kids was the ghost inside the house. She killed them.  
  
Ross: Thanks buddy. (Gets Joey a weird look.)  
  
(Ross, Julie, and Jessie are having in Jessie's office.)  
  
Jessie: That a same you moving back to New York. (Fake smile.)  
  
Julie: Russ is missing his son Tim so bad.  
  
Ross: I understand. I miss Ben so much. The good news is he coming out next week for a couple of weeks before he goes back to school.  
  
Julie: I hope I did not leave you out to dry. There is only three weeks before classes start.  
  
Ross: Oh that ok. I just give another class to each teacher in the department and it will be fine.  
  
(Julie leaves.)  
  
Ross: You are happy now I bet?  
  
Jessie: Look I got nothing against her it was just weird. What if I was working with one of my ex-boyfriends?  
  
Ross: I would be fine… (She stares at him.) For the first two seconds.  
  
(Joey is on set doing a screen with Katie. Rachel is watching off stage.)  
  
Joey: Hey Kristen (Katie screen name.) I not sure if know this or not? But I had a crush on you when we were in high school.  
  
Katie: I knew.  
  
Joey: But I always figured you saw me as a nerd.  
  
Katie: Oh I did.  
  
Joey: So I was wondering if I could ask you out some time.  
  
Katie: Ok.  
  
Director: And Cut. Good job people. Katie and Joey you can leave if you wish. We are done with your screens.  
  
Rachel: Honey you was great.  
  
Joey: I know. But the script seems so likes something I know.  
  
Katie: Hey I see you Monday for the new script meeting. I heard you going to be a Daddy on the show.  
  
Rachel: We really should get royalties.  
  
(Jenny is in a daycare center. Ross, Ben and Jessie are there.)  
  
Ross: Man I hate her having to be here all day.  
  
Ben: I never had to go to daycare. Why does sis?  
  
Ross: Because Rachel works while you mom sat home all day.  
  
Jessie: Do not say that about Carol. I sure she does housework.  
  
Ross: No. She hates doing it. I did it all.  
  
(Jenny is carry up to them by a worker.)  
  
Ross: (Takes Jenny.) How is daddy's little girl doing?  
  
Ben: Dad why do you never call me daddy's little boy?  
  
Ross: Because fathers do not say that to there son. Expect for Chandler's dad.  
  
Jessie: Well we going to the movies tonight?  
  
Ben: Austin Power's?  
  
Ross: No. Some movie called the Bad Girl. With that hot looking Rachel look alike. But we have to drop Jennifer off first.  
  
Jessie: (Upset.) Well we got to see the real Rachel before the hot look alike.  
  
Ben: Man everyone is a jealous freak. Mom is upset at Susan about her and her friend Dan was jumping up and bed.  
  
(Ross and Jessie get a shock look on their faces.)  
  
Ross: Did you see them?  
  
Ben: No by mom burn the covers afterwards.  
  
  
  
The End ~ TOW Carol's Trip To L.A ~ 


	2. 102 TOW Carol's Trip to L.A

~ 102 TOW Carol's Trip To L.A ~  
  
(Joey and Rachel are making out on their bed.)  
  
Joey: Hey I cannot believe Jennifer is finally a sleep.  
  
Rachel: I know.  
  
(Jenny starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: It like she knows. Every time it pops out she cries.  
  
Rachel: I will get her.  
  
(Rachel walks out of room.)  
  
Joey: You just keep it up their boy. She will be back in a minute.  
  
Rachel: (From the other room.) Joey will you get the phone number for the doctor. She has a fever.  
  
Joey: Ok. Sorry boy. (He takes a small address book from Rachel purse and grabs the phone. He walks into Jenny's room.) Here you go honey.  
  
Rachel: Thanks. (She hands Jenny to Joey and dials the number.) Yes Dr. Jacob. Oh hi Doctor I'm a horrible mother. Jennifer has a fever and I do not know what to do. (Joey walks out of the room with her.) Heating pad and fluid. If her temperature is not down by the morning bring her in. Ok bye. (She turns around and does not see them.) Joey where the hell did you go?  
  
Joey: I down in the kitchen.  
  
Rachel: What?  
  
(Rachel runs down stairs and into the kitchen. Joey has the heat pad plug in and is giving Jenny a bottle of Apple Juice.)  
  
Joey: Oh sorry. I read the books on this stuff over the summer.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ben, Ross, and Jessie are at the airport.)  
  
Ross: Hey Ben we going to have to be real support full of your mom ok?  
  
Ben: I know.  
  
Jessie: Yes. Even through I do not see why she has to stay at our place.  
  
(Pulls Jessie away from Ben.)  
  
Ross: Come on honey I can understand why not thrilled but you have act like your ok with it. If not for her, then for Ben.  
  
Jessie: Ok.  
  
(Carol walks off the plan. They walk up to her.)  
  
Carol: Oh Ben come to mommy. (Ben runs over to her.)  
  
Ben: You ok mom?  
  
Carol: I'm now that you are around.  
  
Ross: How was your flight?  
  
Carol: It was fine. I got a whole row to myself. I was alone. Alone (she starts crying.) is what I'm.  
  
Ross: (Hugs her.) No you are not. We are all here for you.  
  
Jessie: (Look upset.) But not in a touching, feeling way.  
  
(Rachel, Joey, and Jenny are at the doctor's.)  
  
Doctor: Just make sure she takes her medicine and she be fined.  
  
Rachel: Thanks Doctor.  
  
(Rachel picks up Jenny and leaves.)  
  
Joey: So I should just soak my toe in salt water twice a day.  
  
Doctor: Yeah. I should go away in about a month.  
  
(Rachel walks back in and looks at Joey.)  
  
Rachel: Let go Joey!  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
(Joey, Rachel, Jessie, Carol, and Ben are sitting around the living room at Ross's house. Ross walks out of Jenny's room there.)  
  
Joey: (Has a look of fear.) Oh my god. I just realize something.  
  
Rachel: If it is what I think it is I'm going to smack you.  
  
Joey: Ross is the one that had sex with all three girls in the room.  
  
(Rachel playfully slaps him.)  
  
Ross: Damn. If I was a normal guy I would be happy with myself.  
  
Rachel: Did you get Jenny to sleep?  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Jessie: So what do you guys want to do?  
  
Ben: Lets play a game.  
  
Joey: I got an idea.  
  
Rachel: Nothing that starts with the word Naked.  
  
Joey: Nude… Kidding. Yet play Sorry.  
  
Ross: We do not have that game Jo.  
  
Carol: But I packed it in one of Ben's bags. I will go get.  
  
Joey: Oh right. Nude Sorry.  
  
(Everyone is sitting around playing. Ben is teaming with Ross, Jessie, Carol, and Joey and Rachel. Carol has are but one in the safe zone. Everyone else has just one.)  
  
Joey: (Picks up a card.) Sorry!  
  
Rachel: Let's see. (Looks at the board. Carol piece is the closest to they safe zone.) Sorry Jessie. (Takes the piece and replaces Jessie's with it.)  
  
Carol: (Picks up a card.) Seven. I win.  
  
Jessie: (Upset.) Great.  
  
Carol: Hey Ben can you put the game away for us?  
  
Ben: Sure.  
  
(Ben puts the piece back in the box and goes upstairs with it.)  
  
Carol: Man I'm having a great time. That way it well be so great when Ben and I move out here.  
  
Ross: What? You move out here to Los Angles?  
  
Carol: Yeah. My cousin has a job hook up for me.  
  
Ross: But you never had a job before. You were one of those people dumb women who went to college looking for a man.  
  
Rachel: (Hurt by the comment.) Hey. (Joey hugs her.) It may be true but some of us realize it wrong before it to late.  
  
Carol: When we was driving in I saw a great little house a couple blocks away.  
  
Ross: Hey you guys. Can I talk to Carol alone for a minute?  
  
Jessie: Sure.  
  
Joey: Yeah. I think I hear Jenny crying.  
  
Rachel: Let's go check on her.  
  
Jessie: I go talk to Ben about… something.  
  
(All three get up to and leave Ross and Carol alone?)  
  
Ross: I you sure you want to move out here? I mean what about your family?  
  
Carol: You mean the ones who did not even show up to my wedding.  
  
Ross: Yeah. But want about Ben and his friends?  
  
Carol: I sure he miss them but he make new ones. And besides he will be able with his dad all the time.  
  
Ross: Yeah. Ok this is great. (They hug. Jessie walks back in.)  
  
Jessie: So are you moving out here?  
  
Carol: Yes.  
  
Jessie: (Upset.) That is great.  
  
Carol: I better go talk to Ben.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are in Jenny's room.)  
  
Rachel: How long do we have to stay in here?  
  
Joey: I know. We cannot even talk loud because she is sleeping.  
  
(Joey walks towards the door but stops when he hits his foot on something.)  
  
Rachel: All you ok honey?  
  
Joey: (Covering his mouth.) Son of a Bitch. (Removes his hand.) I ok know.  
  
Rachel: Good thing you did not scream.  
  
Joey: Yeah. (Joey turns around and hits his head on the open door.) My good it hurts!  
  
(Jenny starts crying. Rachel picks her up.)  
  
Rachel: It is ok honey. Come back down. (Turns to Joey.) Thanks a lot Jo.  
  
(Ross comes running in.)  
  
Ross: Is everything ok? Why is she crying?  
  
Rachel: Because of Joey.  
  
Joey: (Ross at him.) Hey I was not the one who left the door half open.  
  
Rachel: Well do not look… (Stops and thinks.) Well at least I did not hit my head against the door.  
  
Joey: Hey let me have her. (Rachel hands Jenny to him. She starts to calm down.) I got the magic touch with women.  
  
Rachel: So are Carol and Ben really moving out here?  
  
Ross: It looks like it. I'm happy because Ben will be in town. But I not sure Jessie is.  
  
Rachel: She still upset with the whole making out thing with Carol.  
  
Ross: I guess. But I think it will be ok.  
  
(Jessie, Ben, and Carol are sitting on the couch.)  
  
Ben: I'm going to get me a glass of water.  
  
(Ben leaves. Jessie turns to Carol and grabs her by the shirt.)  
  
Jessie: Ok listen to me. I love Ross with all my heart and you not going to take him for me. So we are not going to have any more happenings like at the college right?  
  
Carol: (Takes Jessie hands off her.) Jessie there is nothing to worry about. I like women. Thinking of which. (Starts to stoke Jessie arm.) I like them to take charge.  
  
Jessie: Oh my god. (She jumps off the couch.)  
  
Carol: (Laughing.) That works every time.  
  
  
  
The End ~103 TOW Rachel and Joey get caught ~ 


	3. 103 TOW Joey and Rachel Get Caught

~ 103 TOW Joey and Rachel Get Caught ~  
  
(Joey and Rachel are making out on the couch. Jenny starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: Damn it. Every time we kiss she starts to cry.  
  
Rachel: I know. We had not had sex in 36 hours.  
  
Joey: Hey I the guy. I suppose to keep track of the time. And I thought it was 28 hours?  
  
Rachel: Where we did some things then, but no intercourse.  
  
(They stop talking for a few seconds.)  
  
Joey: Should one of us go check on her?  
  
(Joey, Rachel, and Jenny are walking up to Ross's house.)  
  
Joey: Good they are home. (Knocks on the door. Ross answers.)  
  
Ross: Hey. What you guys doing here at 8:00 at night.  
  
Rachel: Good news Ross. You get Jenny a night early.  
  
Ross: Oh great. (Takes Jenny.) Come on girl. Let's get you to bed.  
  
(Joey and Rachel get back in the car.)  
  
Joey: Finally we are alone.  
  
Rachel: I know. (They start making out.)  
  
(Rachel and Joey are asleep in the back seat of their car. They have a small blanket over them.)  
  
Joey: (Wakes up.) Hey where the hell are we.  
  
Rachel: (Wakes up too.) I do not. We are inside the car in their driveway.  
  
Joey: Let get the hell out of here before we get.(Looks up and sees Ben standing there.) caught.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Rachel and Joey are sitting on the couch in Ross's living room. Ross is screaming at them.)  
  
Ross: How stupid can you two be? I mean you cannot wait to you guys got home?  
  
Rachel: We are so sorry Ross. It just we could not control ourselves.  
  
Joey: Yeah. We almost went 37 hours with not having sex.  
  
Ross: So you guys do it in our driveway? And poor Ben saw you guys naked.  
  
Rachel: We would not have if Joey did not remove the blanket.  
  
Joey: Sorry but I was a little stuffy.  
  
Ross: Well Carol is in there trying to explain what he saw.  
  
Joey: Oh just show him a Playboy.  
  
Rachel: Honey I think it time for us to go home.  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
(Joey and Rachel leave. Carol and Ben walk in the room.)  
  
Carol: So I explain to Ben that in some cases it a man and woman who have fun naked.  
  
Ben: I mean I caught Mom and Susan tons of times.  
  
Ross: So what do you guys want to do today?  
  
Ben: Let's go to the Zoo.  
  
Carol: Cool. We can take Jenny to the Zoo.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are sleeping in their bed. The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Hello. Oh hi Chandler. No, no we was just trying to sleep. No we really are sleeping this time.  
  
(Rachel wakes up.)  
  
Rachel: Who the hell is it?  
  
Joey: (To Rachel.) Chandler. He seems upset about something?  
  
Rachel: Why is he upset?  
  
Joey: I do not know? (Back into the Phone.) Why do you sound upset dude? Sarah broke up with you dude. I'm so sorry Chandler.  
  
Rachel: Oh my god.  
  
Joey: Yeah I wish I were there to so we can go to the strip. (Looks at Rachel.) Thing. But I have an idea. Maybe we should chat on the computer. Ok bye.  
  
Rachel: Good idea. Maybe I can get some sleep.  
  
(Ross, Ben, Jessie, Carol, and Jenny are at the Zoo.)  
  
Ross: So what do you guys want to look at first?  
  
Ben: The Lions.  
  
Ross: (Looks afraid.) Lions? (Reads a map.) The Lions are way on the other side of the Zoo. Lets start with the apes. They right over here. (Points to his right.)  
  
Carol: Oh that right. You have a fear of lions.  
  
Ross: I do not.  
  
Jessie: Then why are you sweating?  
  
Ross: It is hot. Ok lets get going. (Ross starts pushing Jenny in the stroller to the left.)  
  
(Joey is in Rachel's office on the computer. He has a big small on his face when Rachel comes in.)  
  
Joey: Oh hi honey. (Puts his arm over the computer.)  
  
Rachel: You do not think I know you looking up porn.  
  
Joey: And chatting with Chandler.  
  
Rachel: Here let chat with him for a minute. (Rachel sits on Joey lap.) May look at here there. (Points at the screen.) Do you think I can get in the position?  
  
Joey: I'm not sure. We can try later if you like.  
  
Rachel: (Typing.) I'm asking him how Monica is doing.  
  
Joey: Oh she is having a baby boy.  
  
Rachel: What? How do you know this?  
  
Joey: She called a couple weeks ago and I ask how healthy the baby is. She said he was eight months and doing fine.  
  
Rachel: You knew the sex of Monica baby for a couple of weeks and did not tell me.  
  
Joey: Yeah. I like knowing stuff no one else does.  
  
Rachel: (Smacks him aside the head.) Well you tell me everything because I'm your wife.  
  
Joey: (Scared.) I was the one who ruin the rug with the grape juice, not Jenny.  
  
Rachel: Why would you not tell me that? I'm not Monica. You mean my favorite rug in the living room?  
  
Joey: Ok for now on I tell you everything. (They kiss.) And by the way you know that vase.  
  
(Carol, Ben, Jenny, Ross, and Jessie are looking at Tigers.)  
  
Ross: Man who knew that tigers burp that loud?  
  
Carol: Well when you eat so much deer meat?  
  
Jessie: Deer meat? Why would they feed them that?  
  
Carol: I guest they hate cow.  
  
Ross: Ok that all the animals. Lets go home.  
  
Ben: What. We have not been to the Lions let.  
  
Ross: But Tigers are Lions cousins.  
  
Carol: Chicken.  
  
Ross: What was that?  
  
Jenny: Chicken.  
  
Ross: (Upset.) Ok lets go see the lions.  
  
(They are walk into the lion area. Everyone goes to and leans against the bars expect Ross who is standing back with Jenny in her stroller.)  
  
Ben: Wow the look so big.  
  
Carol: Are you just going to stand way back there Ross?  
  
Ross: Yeah, Jenny seems afraid of them. (Jenny is sleeping in the stroller.)  
  
Jessie: She is sleeping. Here let me see her and you walk up there.  
  
(Jessie talks hold of the stroller and gives Ross a push towards the lions.)  
  
Ross: (Waves at one of them.) Hi there.  
  
(The Lion roars. They all start running.)  
  
(Joey and Rachel are in the back yawn of Ross and Jessie's house. Joey takes the key from underneath the mat.)  
  
Rachel: I cannot believe you then that. Now we have to break in and fix it.  
  
Joey: You know we would not have to do this if you did not wanted we to keep no more secrets.  
  
(They walk inside the backdoor and into the kitchen.)  
  
Joey: I hope it not too late. (He opens the freezer and pulls at a book.)  
  
Rachel: Oh Ross is going to kill you. That was the only copy he had of the book he wrote.  
  
Joey: Man. (He sits down at the table.)  
  
Rachel: Why did you put the book in the freezer?  
  
Joey: Because it was so boring.  
  
Rachel: I know it is but. (Rachel stops and stares the couch.) Hey their couch will be perfect to do that thing we was looking at earlier.  
  
Joey: (Smiles, Rachel starts walking into the living.) Yes it good to be a sex machine.  
  
(Carol, Ben, Jessie, and Jenny in the stroller come in the house.)  
  
Carol: Oh my god. (Covers Ben's eyes.)  
  
Joey: (From the living room.) Sorry.  
  
Jessie: Ross get in here! Ross! Where the hell is Ross?  
  
(Ross is still standing in front the lion's cage at the zoo.)  
  
Ross: Hey you guys are not that tuff.  
  
(Ross starts to walk away. The Lion roars. He starts running.)  
  
  
  
The End ~ 103 TOW Joey and Rachel Get Caught ~ 


	4. 104 TOW All The Fighting

~ 104 TOW All The Fighting ~  
  
(Everyone is sitting around watching TV.)  
  
Jessie: Wow that girl TV Chandler is trying to break up is annoying as hell.  
  
Ross: That TV Janice.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. Hey was that the night that you taught me how to do.. (Turn to Joey) You kiss her didn't you?  
  
Joey: No. Hey lets watch something else.  
  
Rachel: Joey I want the truth. Remember no more secrets.  
  
Joey: She kissed me.  
  
Rachel: You had to know it was coming? It was in the script right?  
  
Joey: Yes, but it just a job.  
  
Rachel: Well I just might start doing just a job at my work.  
  
Joey: That does not make any. (Gets it.) Oh no.  
  
Carol: Hey Ben lets go into kitchen. We fined a reason why when we get in there.  
  
(Carol and Ben leave the living room.)  
  
Jessie: Man they really are upset at each other. It would be like if you told me Carol and Ben are going to be living here longer than next week.  
  
Ross: Ok so we do not need to have that talk.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Joey and Rachel's house. Rachel walks out of Jenny's room. Joey is in the hallway.)  
  
Joey: I'm going to hang out in the basement for a little while.  
  
Rachel: Ok. I will go get some work done in my office.  
  
(They both start to walk down the stairs but they both stop.)  
  
Joey: Look this is stupid. I do not even like kissing her.  
  
Rachel: I know. (They kiss.) I would live to continue this but I have my work.  
  
Joey: What you doing?  
  
Rachel: Oh you do not what to hear about it.  
  
Joey: Yes I do.  
  
Rachel: Ok but promise me you will not freak out.  
  
Joey: Of course not.  
  
Rachel: I'm reviewing photos of under ware models.  
  
Joey: Really? (Gets Happy.) Can I help you?  
  
Rachel: Guy under ware models.  
  
Joey: What?  
  
(Jessie and Ross are fighting in their bedroom.)  
  
Jessie: Ross why are they staying here longer?  
  
Ross: The apartment is not ready let.  
  
Jessie: Well how much longer?  
  
Ross: two maybe three weeks.  
  
Jessie: Two or Three weeks? They were supposed to be out by Friday.  
  
Ross: I know but they found lead paint on the walls and have to repaint it.  
  
Jessie: Oh. I sorry I scream at you.  
  
Ross: That ok.  
  
(They start to kiss when Ben and Carol walk in.)  
  
Carol: Tell you son he cannot have a dog.  
  
Ben: But I get to have not fan pets. Just goldfishes and they die in days.  
  
Carol: Ben I do not like dogs. They always ate my cats. And we cannot have cats because they also got ate by dogs.  
  
Ross: Maybe you can have a dog that stays over here.  
  
(Jessie walks away upset.)  
  
Ross: What did I say?  
  
(Ross, Rachel, and Jenny are in a doctor's office.)  
  
Ross: I do not know what the big deal is about a little dog.  
  
Rachel: Joey is the king of porn. So why would he care?  
  
Ross: I can see a different between work and pleasure.  
  
Rachel: So I should act like I enjoy looking at hot guys. (Realize what she just said.) I enjoy looking at hot guys.  
  
Ross: There you go.  
  
Rachel: I mean I use to check out hot guys all the time when I dated you and you never seem to mine.  
  
Ross: See it no. What?  
  
(The Nurse walks into the waiting room.)  
  
Nurse: Ok. Jennifer Geller-Tribbiani.  
  
(Joey is on the phone.)  
  
Joey: Well Pheebes that is too bad. (He slams the phone door. There is a knock on the door.) Who is it?  
  
Jessie: It Jessie.  
  
Joey: Oh come on in. (Jessie walks in.) I sorry if I sound upset but it Phoebe. All I did was sent her joke e-mail about how to treat women like you slaves in bed and she gets upset.  
  
Jessie: Well you would not believe what Ross what's to do. Get a dog for Ben.  
  
Joey: That nothing. Rachel gets to interview under ware models all day long (Jessie gets him a weird look.) Male ones.  
  
Jessie: Oh. I say we go wait over at my house to they come home and chew them out together.  
  
Joey: That sounds like a plan.  
  
(They storm out of the house. Joey comes back in.)  
  
Joey: I need to check on my roast real quick.  
  
(Carol, Ben, Joey, and Jessie are sitting around Ross's house when Ross and Rachel walk in with Jenny.)  
  
Ross: Jessie we need to talk.  
  
Rachel: Same thing for us Joey.  
  
Joey: Good.  
  
Jessie: Lets go.  
  
Carol: I better take Jenny. (Takes Jenny from Rachel.)  
  
(Ross and Jessie are in the kitchen.)  
  
Ross: Listen if my son wants a dog I'm going to get him a dog.  
  
Jessie: But Ross a dog is hassle to have around. They smell.  
  
Ross: I know that.  
  
Jessie: They pee and crap everywhere.  
  
Ross: I know.  
  
Jessie: So why do you want a dog. You do not sound like you will want it around. And Ben will not be over here are the timed when they move. Unless you thinking getting a dog will force them to stay.  
  
Ross: Maybe a little. It just I like having Ben living with me all the time.  
  
Jessie: (Touches his cheek.) I know you do. But hey they are going to live in the same city.  
  
Ross: Yeah that is true. No more of this stupid fighting.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are in a upstairs bedroom screaming.)  
  
Rachel: I cannot believe you so jealous. Why don't you go sleep with the copy shop girl already and get it over with.  
  
Joey: What. You would think I would sleep with someone else.  
  
Rachel: (Starts crying.) Is it that what your men do? I mean that what Ross did.  
  
Joey: First off Ross is not a man. Second I would never do that. I the type that will just beat the dude up.  
  
Rachel: (Starts laughing.) Really?  
  
Joey: Yeah. Hey I should no be upset. It is just a job. Just like my job requires me to kiss someone else on screen.  
  
Rachel: So we can stop fighting.  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
(Joey, Rachel, and Jenny are eating dinner at their home.)  
  
Rachel: How did you get your roast so juice.  
  
Joey: I add a little of Jenny's milk when cooking it.  
  
Rachel: Really. No wonder she drinks it five times a day.  
  
(The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Oh hi Pheebs. Look I want to. Fine cut me off. I do not care about Monica going into the labor. Goodbye. (He slams the phone door. Rachel is in shock.) Do you believe her? I try to say I'm sorry and she would not let me talk.  
  
Rachel: Honey did you hear want she said?  
  
Joey: Yeah. Something about Monica going into labor and. Monica went into labor!  
  
  
  
The End ~ 105 TOW Labor Over The Phone ~ 


	5. 105 TOW Labor Over The Phone Part 1

~ 105 TOW Labor Over The Phone Part 1 ~  
  
(Joey and Rachel run into Ross's house. Ben and Carol are standing there.)  
  
Joey: Where is Ross?  
  
Carol: Jessie and him are making up so Ben and I are going to the movies.  
  
Ben: They really must be having sex since we going to a double feature.  
  
Rachel: Someone needs to go stop them. Monica is in labor.  
  
(Everyone starts looking at everyone else.)  
  
Joey: Oh my god I we left Jenny home alone. I will go get here.  
  
(Joey runs out the door.)  
  
Carol: Oh Rach goes stop them.  
  
Rachel: Why me?  
  
Carol: Because you saw Ross naked before.  
  
Rachel: What so have you. You were married to him.  
  
Carol: Yeah but you slept with him a guess 300 times.  
  
Rachel: Oh come on. You were together for years.  
  
Carol: But we only had sex 176 times.  
  
Rachel: What? Come on. Fine I do it.  
  
Carol: (Looks around.) Where did Ben go?  
  
(You here a scream from upstairs.)  
  
Ross: (Screaming.) Ben you are in so much trouble.  
  
(Ben comes out and runs down the stairs. Ross follows in a rob.)  
  
Carol: Would you calm down?  
  
Rachel: Yeah he went to tell you Monica is in labor.  
  
Ross: That fine but why couldn't one of you did it.  
  
Carol: Well you see.  
  
Rachel: We told Joey to but he took off running like a baby.  
  
(Joey opens the door with Jenny in hand.)  
  
Rachel: We better call Phoebe.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Everyone is sitting around the living room but Jessie. Rachel is on the phone.)  
  
Rachel: Why is Monica not at the hospital let? She stopped at IHOP to eat.  
  
Joey: Oh that sounds good.  
  
Rachel: Ok call me back later Chandler. Goodbye.  
  
(Jessie walks out of the kitchen.)  
  
Jessie: Well I get some of Joey roast reheating in the oven.  
  
Ross: All you ever going to tell us what the secret juice you put it in?  
  
(Joey and Rachel look at each other.)  
  
Joey: (Laughing.) Trust me you do not want to know.  
  
Rachel: Oh I got to go feed Jenny.  
  
(Both Joey and her start laughing again.)  
  
(Ben and Carol are in their room.)  
  
Ben: Do I have to go to bed?  
  
Carol: Yes. I'm sure that your cousin will not be born to the morning.  
  
Ben: Will you wake me up if he goes?  
  
Carol: Yes I will.  
  
Ben: Thanks Mommy.  
  
(Carol leaves. Ben takes a cordless phone from under his bed and starts listening.)  
  
(Everyone is sitting around the kitchen table eating.)  
  
Carol: That is so good Joey.  
  
Jessie: Yeah. Jenny's milk really adds favor to it.  
  
(Joey singles for her to shut up.)  
  
Ross: The secret juice is Jenny's milk.  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Ross: Hum that's good. (Cuts another piece for himself.)  
  
(The phone rings. Rachel picks it up.)  
  
Rachel: Hello. Oh good Phoebe how is Monica. Good. She wants to talk to me.  
  
Joey: How are they calling from the hospital?  
  
Rachel: Richard's cell phone. What do you mean I should have warned you to never have sex again? You just now figure out how must pain labor are?  
  
Ross: That is why it is great to be a man.  
  
Carol: Yeah and besides you wimps anyway so you would not live through it.  
  
Joey: Could to.  
  
Rachel: Well Chandler calls me back when something happens. (Rachel hangs up the phone.) That is weird. After Chandler hung up I heard someone cough on the other end.  
  
Jessie: Hum. Maybe it was just some feedback?  
  
Joey: That must have been it.  
  
Ross: Where is the other cordless phone?  
  
Carol: Hey I think I going to go went some movies we can watch.  
  
Rachel: That sounds great.  
  
Joey: Hey I go with you.  
  
(Joey and Carol get up and leave.)  
  
Rachel: You know it no sweet sending you husband off with a woman allow when she is a lesbian.  
  
(Carol is looking around a movie show. Joey walks out of the XXX area.)  
  
Joey: Oh my god I cannot be want I just saw.  
  
Carol: I know but it not Ross on the cover. He's not quite that large if you know what I mean.  
  
Joey: No not that. It is Jamie.  
  
Carol: Jamie! The father of Monica's baby?  
  
Joey: Yeah. Let's get out of here before he sees us.  
  
Carol: No. You have to tell him Monica is in labor.  
  
Joey: Why? Monica does not want anything to do with him.  
  
Carol: Does he even know?  
  
Joey: No I do not think he knows about Monica being Pregnant with his baby.  
  
(Jamie was standing behind Joey when he said that.)  
  
(Rachel is on the phone as Ross and Jessie walk into the living room.)  
  
Rachel: Ok Chandler thanks for the update. (She hangs up the phone.) Well you two spend a long time checking on Ben and Jenny.  
  
Ross: Yeah. (Smiles.) So how is Monica?  
  
Rachel: Chandler said within the next couple of hours. And she has a name. Joey-Chandler-Geller.  
  
Ross: What? She does not even have my name in there.  
  
(Joey walks in.)  
  
Joey: So how is Monica?  
  
Rachel: Fined. And by the way she's naming the kid after you and Chandler.  
  
Joey: Well she will change her mind after what I did.  
  
(Carol walks in with Jamie.)  
  
  
  
The End ~TOW Labor Over The Phone Part 2~ Coming Soon. 


	6. 106 TOW Labor Over The Phone Part 2

~ 106 TOW Labor Over The Phone Part 2 ~  
  
(Everyone is staring at Jamie.)  
  
Rachel: Hi.  
  
Jamie: Hello. How is Monica?  
  
Rachel: Fine. Hey Jo can I see you in the kitchen for a minute.  
  
Joey: No I think I'm going to stay in a place with witness.  
  
Ross: I will join you two in there.  
  
Joey: Ok. (Joey walks slowly into the living room.)  
  
(Joey walks into the kitchen with Ross and Rachel behind him.)  
  
Joey: Look I know what you going to say.  
  
Rachel: You are the biggest idiot of them all.  
  
Joey: Ok but I figured you would not be so mean.  
  
Ross: Why did you invite Jamie back here?  
  
Joey: Look this is not my fault. I saw him at the video show and was telling Carol about him. He overheard us talking about Monica being in labor with his kid.  
  
Rachel: So you brought him here?  
  
Joey: What the hell was I supposed to do? After all it is his kid.  
  
Ross: So what are we going to do?  
  
Rachel: I got it. Joey can tell Monica and she can scream you to death.  
  
Joey: Look I will tell Monica.  
  
(Jessie walks in with the phone. It is Chandler.)  
  
Joey: Here let me see it. (Joey walks away as everyone else walks in there.)  
  
Jamie: Look you guys do not want me here I will leave.  
  
Ross: No you can stay.  
  
Rachel: Yeah I guess a cheater has a right to be a parent to.  
  
Jamie: Please you guys. It not was not like that.  
  
Rachel: Then how was it like?  
  
Jamie: I did not want to fall in love with someone out of state.  
  
(Joey comes running back in.)  
  
Joey: Well I told her. I think she took it pretty good. She only wanted me to burn in hell.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Jamie is on the phone.)  
  
Jamie: Please will you just hear me out? Ok I understand. (Hands the phone to Ross who walks away.)  
  
Rachel: Hey what do you mean you did not to fall in love with someone out of state again?  
  
Jamie: Well it was about five years ago. I started to date this woman out of state name Kristen. Anyway I end up falling in love with her. Then she went home. We tried to make it work but it hurt too much so we broke up. And I did not want for the same thing to happen with Monica.  
  
Rachel: You could have explained that to here. She would have understand how you felt. You did not had to cheated on her.  
  
Jamie: I know. And now she is having my kid.  
  
Carol: Maybe you should explain that to her.  
  
Jamie: I tried but she refused to talk to me.  
  
(Ross walks back in.)  
  
Ross: He is here? I'm an Uncle.  
  
Rachel: How is little Joey. Is he healthy?  
  
Ross: Yeah. He's over nine pounds.  
  
Chandler: Hey like all Joey's he must have ate a lot.  
  
Jamie: Well I should be going now.  
  
(Jamie leaves with no one noticing him.)  
  
Joey: Well it has been a long night. Maybe we should go home.  
  
Rachel: Or that right. It is Sunday night. We still have three hours of sex in front of us.  
  
(The next Morning Ross is cooking when Carol walks in.)  
  
Carol: Are you cooking you special pancakes?  
  
Ross: Oh you remember these?  
  
Carol: Yep. I will have a bowl of Twix.  
  
Ross: Well I guess I should only make enough for me then.  
  
Carol: Hey how are little Jo and Monica doing?  
  
Ross: Good.  
  
Carol: And how about Jamie? What happened to him last night?  
  
Ross: I don't know. Man if you would have not allow me to be avoid with Ben I will kill myself.  
  
(Ben walks in.)  
  
Ben: Oh I know that smell. Where are the Twix?  
  
(Ben pours himself a bowl.)  
  
Carol: You think we should call him?  
  
Ross: I do not even know his number.  
  
Carol: Then you have to talk to Monica.  
  
(Jessie walks in and smells.)  
  
Jessie: I think I'm going back to bed. I'm sick.  
  
(Joey is feeding Jenny as Rachel walks into the kitchen staring at Joey.)  
  
Joey: Look I sorry I was not able to last three hours last night. I was tired.  
  
Rachel: Well it better not happen again. After all I did not married you smarts.  
  
Joey: It's your smarts.  
  
Rachel: (Laughing.) Hey have you heard from Monica?  
  
Joey: Yeah I talk to Phoebe this morning. I told her about Jamie and she will try to explain it to Monica later.  
  
Rachel: You think that is a good idea.  
  
Joey: I don't know.  
  
(Jessie walks into the house.)  
  
Jessie: Hey you guys can I eat over here? Ross made his special pancakes.  
  
Rachel: Oh you did not have to smell them did you?  
  
Joey: Go ahead and have my eggs and beacon. I do not feel like eating anything.  
  
Rachel: Ok let go to the hospital right now.  
  
Joey: I fine. It just I feel guilty about those whole Jamie and Monica thing.  
  
Rachel: (Sits on his lap.) Do you want to do anything to make you happier? Life having the last hour of.  
  
(Joey jumps up.)  
  
Joey: Hey can you watch Jenny for a little bit?  
  
Jenny: An hour?  
  
Joey: How did you guess?  
  
(Ross, Carol and Ben are eating.)  
  
Ross: So I can get some boxes from the school for you guys to move.  
  
Carol: Hey thanks.  
  
(The phone rings. Ben picks it up.)  
  
Ben: Hi. Oh hi Aunt Phoebe. He is right here.  
  
(Ross grabs the phone.)  
  
Ross: Hi Phoebe what is up? Oh good so she talk to Jamie. That is good news. A baby needs to know both it parents. Ok bye.  
  
(Ross hangs up the phone.)  
  
Carol: Well that had a happy ending.  
  
Ross: I guess. Hey Ben way did you answer the phone like that? You should leave that for your mom and I.  
  
Ben: But how are you going to avoid those annoying telemarketers?  
  
Ross: True.  
  
(Rachel and Joey walk down stairs. Jessie is watching TV while Jenny plays in the playpen.)  
  
Jessie: Hey that was only 55 minutes.  
  
Joey: I know. I'm wash up.  
  
Rachel: That is ok.  
  
(Rachel hugs Joey and gives Jessie a look like it not ok.)  
  
  
  
The End ~107 TOW Joey Goes To A Sex Doctor~ Coming Soon 


	7. 107 TOW Joey Goes To A Sex Doctor

~ 107 TOW Joey Goes To A Sex Doctor ~  
  
(Jessie, Carol, Ross, and Ben are standing in Ross's living room. There are a couple of boxes on the floor.)  
  
Ross: Man I cannot believe you two are really moving out.  
  
Carol: I know. It has been so much fun.  
  
Jessie: Yeah it has been a blast. So you better get going.  
  
(Ben, Carol, and Ross each pick up a box. Ben and Carol walk out the door. Ross goes to follow but Jessie holds him back.)  
  
Jessie: I guess we finally going to be alone.  
  
Ross: Yes we are. (They start kissing.) Hey I got a surprise for you tonight.  
  
(Ross walks outside.)  
  
Jessie: Yes he finally going to ask me to marry him. (She jumps up and down happy.)  
  
(Outside Ross puts the last box into Carol's car.)  
  
Carol: Well this is it.  
  
Ross: Yeah. (They hug. Then he picks up Ben.)  
  
Ben: Dad doesn't cry like a girl. You are taking me to the movies tomorrow.  
  
Ross: Yeah that right.  
  
(He lets Ben down and he gets into car.)  
  
Carol: So are you doing it tonight?  
  
Ross: Yes I'm. I'm doing to give her that necklace.  
  
Carol: I hope she likes it.  
  
Ross: Thanks again for helping to pick it out for me.  
  
Carol: You welcome.  
  
(Carol gets in the car and they drive away as Ross waves. A dog starts running towards him and he runs into the house.)  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Joey and Rachel are lying in bed.)  
  
Joey: What is happening to me? I'm wash up?  
  
Rachel: Maybe it is I? (Starts to cry.) You do not find me hot anymore. (She starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: No that not it. You still the second hottest women on the face of the earth behind Chandler's mom.  
  
Rachel: Well damn if pity will not get you up want will? Hey maybe you should go to a sex doctor?  
  
Joey: A sex doctor? Like the one on those info commercial at three in the morning? No way in hell.  
  
Rachel: You can ask for the hot blond?  
  
Joey: Really. That number was 1-800-SEX-HELP right?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. (The doorbell rings.) I go get the door while you make the call.  
  
(Rachel walks downstairs and answer the door.)  
  
Jessie: I got big news. Ross is going to ask me to marry him.  
  
Rachel: Oh my god.  
  
(They jump up and down hugging. Joey comes down the stairs.)  
  
Joey: Hey Rachel we got an appointment for two o'clock for that zit on my butt.  
  
(Jessie gets him a weird look.)  
  
Rachel: Ross is going to ask her to marry him.  
  
Joey: Oh my god. (He hugs here.) Hey call us later when he does it and we will party.  
  
Jessie: Well I got to get going. I have to get everything done.  
  
(Jessie leaves.)  
  
Rachel: Zit on your butt?  
  
Joey: Hey I did not want to tell the truth. It embarrassing.  
  
(Ross is at work on the phone.)  
  
Ross: Good. I can pick it up after work. Goodbye.  
  
(Jessie walks in.)  
  
Jessie: Was that a business phone call?  
  
Ross: No it was a private one. Hey I have to make a quick stop after work. So way don't you go home and heat up the dinner I cook this morning for us. (Starts kissing her.) And set the table up are nice.  
  
Jessie: Oh don't be since a tease.  
  
(A college student walks in.)  
  
Student: Mr. Geller can I talk to you for a minute alone?  
  
Ross: Sure Katie. I see you later. (Points at Jessie as she leaves.)  
  
Katie: I know that the report is due later this week but I not sure if I be able to meet the deadline.  
  
Ross: Why?  
  
Katie: It just anything is in my classes is due at once. And I figure since you was the coolest teacher (Starts flirting with him.) I have that you would give me a break.  
  
Ross: Are you trying to come on to me?  
  
Katie: Is it working?  
  
Ross: No. Just leave and turn your report in on time and we will forget this even happen.  
  
Katie: This is not the last you will hear from me.  
  
(Katie storms out.)  
  
(Rachel carrying Jenny and Joey are in a doctor's office.)  
  
Joey: I cannot believe I'm here.  
  
Rachel: It going to be ok. I will stay with you no matter what the doc says.  
  
Joey: You think it was a good idea to bring her?  
  
Rachel: What was I suppose to do?  
  
Joey: I guess you right.  
  
(Nurse comes up.)  
  
Nurse: She is ready to see you, alone.  
  
Joey: (Smiles.) Hey the hot chick wants me all alone.  
  
(Joey gets up and walks into the office.)  
  
Doc: So how you been doing?  
  
Joey: I have not been doing. That's why I'm here.  
  
Doc: What do you think the problem is?  
  
Joey: I'm not sure? It just I try so hard.  
  
Doc: Maybe that is your problem. You are trying to hard. Just try to relax.  
  
Joey: Yeah that seems like it could work, thanks.  
  
(Joey gets up and leaves. Rachel gets up with Jenny.)  
  
Rachel: That is it. 500 bucks for a five-minute session. So what did she say?  
  
Joey: To just relax and not think about it. (He stops.) Hey is working.  
  
Rachel: Lets get home then.  
  
(They run out of the office.)  
  
(Jessie has the table set. She is dress up in a hot dress. Ross walks inside the house.)  
  
Ross: Honey I'm home. Did you set anything up?  
  
Jessie: I sure did. (They start kissing.)  
  
Ross: So you want your surprise now or after dinner?  
  
Jessie: Now.  
  
Ross: Well here it us. (He pulls a necklace box out of his pocket.)  
  
Jessie: A necklace? (Looks upset.)  
  
Ross: You do not like it?  
  
Jessie: No that not it. It just I was expecting a ring, like an engagement ring.  
  
Ross: You thought I was going to ask you to marry me?  
  
Jessie: Yes. Well is more like hoping. I mean we live together in a house.  
  
Ross: I know but I not ready let.  
  
Jessie: So how long before you are? (She starts to cry.) I know you have been married a lot and you might be scared, but I cannot wait forever. I think it might be best than if we break up.  
  
Ross: (Crying). No we do not want to break up. We can work this out.  
  
Jessie: I'm sorry but I'm sick of waiting. There is a new college in Texas that opening up. They have offer me a job. It starts next month. I guess I will take it now. (She gets up and runs out of the room.)  
  
Ross: (Follows.) But I love you.  
  
(She stops and kisses him.)  
  
Jessie: So do I. But we want different things. (I will pack something's and will go stay at a friend's house for the next couple of weeks while I look for a place in Texas.)  
  
Ross: Oh no you do not have to do that.  
  
Jessie: It is better this way.  
  
(Jessie runs upstairs. Ross starts on them and starts crying.)  
  
(Rachel and Joey are laying in bed.)  
  
Rachel: Ten times. Ten freaking times.  
  
Joey: I know. I was great. (Smiles.)  
  
Rachel: Wow!  
  
Joey: Maybe just relax should be my new motto.  
  
Rachel: What was your old one?  
  
Joey: Just do her.  
  
  
  
The End ~108 TOW Ross Is Homesick~ coming soon. 


	8. 108 TOW Ross Is Homesick

~108 TOW Ross Is Homesick ~  
  
(Joey walks inside the house with a bag over the top of his covering his hair. Rachel and Jenny are in the living room.)  
  
Rachel: (Laughing.) What the hell is that?  
  
Joey: Nothing. I have to go take a bath.  
  
Rachel: Not until you tell me why you have (Starts laughing harder.) bag on top of your head.  
  
Joey: Fine. In the episode I tape today I get a monkey for a pet.  
  
Rachel: Wow! So did you get along with Marcel?  
  
Joey: Yeah. It was fun working with him. Just was until the very end. He was on top of my head. And his handler has been feeding him are day.  
  
Rachel: No. He took a crap on top of your head?  
  
Joey: (Pulls the bag off. A bunch of crap is smear throughout his hair.) He sure did. (Both Rachel and Jenny laughs.) As you two can see I need to go wash my hair.  
  
(Joey puts the bag back on and runs upstairs.)  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ross is sitting in a chair. He is in a pair of sweats and unshaved. There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Ross: Come on in.  
  
(Rachel walks in.)  
  
Rachel: Oh look at you. It has been two weeks now. You need to get out and do something.  
  
Ross: What? Pick another woman who going to break my heart.  
  
Rachel: No you do not need to go pick up chicks. How about I take you out to dinner just you and I.  
  
Ross: What about Joey?  
  
Rachel: He has to get that smell out of his hair before I will go out with him in public.  
  
Ross: Ok. But I get to choose the place.  
  
Rachel: Anywhere you want, expect the Hard Rock Café.  
  
Ross: But I really like the food. (He gives her puppy eyes.)  
  
Rachel: Fine.  
  
Ross: What else is going to happen to me?  
  
(There is a knock on the door. Ross gets up and opens it. There is a cop standing at the door.)  
  
Cop: Are you Ross Geller?  
  
Ross: How many times do we have to go over this? I not the peeping tom you are looking for.  
  
Cop: No not that. (Hands him a piece a paper.) You are being sued for sexual harassment.  
  
(Joey is blow-drying his hair.)  
  
Joey: Man it took me eight baths to get the smell of crap out. (Smells his hair.)  
  
(Jenny starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: Ok I coming.  
  
(Joey heads out of the bathroom and into the nursery.)  
  
Joey: What is the matter honey? (Picks her up. She points to the wall.) A mouse. Oh my god a mouse.  
  
(Rachel walks into the house.)  
  
Rachel: Honey I can hear you outside. Is there anything wrong?  
  
(Joey walks out of the nursery carrying Jenny.)  
  
Joey: You bet there is. There was a mouse in the nursery.  
  
Rachel: Oh big deal. I saw one last week.  
  
Joey: What! And you never told me?  
  
Rachel: Calm down Joey. Are you going to war with them or something?  
  
Joey: Yes I'm. So how was dinner with Ross? Is he ok?  
  
Rachel: No. Now a student that tried to sleep with him is suing him for sexual harassment.  
  
Joey: While he use to date one so I'm not.  
  
Rachel: He did not do it, I think. Anyway he wants to go back to New York for Thanksgiving.  
  
Joey: But we agreed not to go back for at least a year. That we would go cold turkey from New York.  
  
Rachel: I know but I think it can help him right now.  
  
Joey: Well ok. You buy the airplane tickets.  
  
(Joey walks outside.)  
  
Rachel: Where are you going?  
  
Joey: To get my tools. It is war.  
  
(Ross is knocking on an apartment door. Carol opens it.)  
  
Carol: Oh how you doing?  
  
Ross: Ok. So is Ben ready?  
  
Carol: I think so. Hey Ben you dad is here.  
  
(Ben runs into the living room.)  
  
Ross: So why are you dress up?  
  
Ben: I have a date tonight.  
  
Ross: A date. Is she cute?  
  
Ben: I'm not sure. It is a blind date.  
  
Ross: (Laughing.) Ok Carol can you answer for yourself this time.  
  
Carol: (Laughing.) Sorry it is a game Ben and I plan to cheer you up.  
  
Ross: Well it was working until you said it was a plan.  
  
Carol: (Hands a overnight bag to Ben.) So you being Ben home in the morning?  
  
Ross: Yeah but not to early. I mean you date still might be going on.  
  
Carol: Oh I doubt it.  
  
(Joey is in the nursery. He has moved are the dresser from the wall.)  
  
Joey: Ok there is the hole.  
  
Jenny: (Who is in the crib.) Hole.  
  
Joey: Yeah Jenny. What I'm going to do is gas them out with this gas. So we are going to have to hang out downstairs.  
  
(Joey goes to pick up Jenny but she holds on to the crib.)  
  
Jenny: No. Stay.  
  
Joey: Come on Jenny. I have to kill the mouse.  
  
Jenny: No kill. My friends.  
  
Joey: They are your friends? Do not be crazy girl. (Joey picks her up. She starts crying.) Ok, ok. We come up with some solution.  
  
(Ross and Ben are watching TV.)  
  
Ben: Dad I telling you the truth. No one likes the learning station at school.  
  
Ross: (Hears a knock at the door.) We finish this later son.  
  
(He answers the door. Rachel is standing there.)  
  
Rachel: I have a surprise for you.  
  
Ross: What. Not another one of those songs written by Joey.  
  
Rachel: No. Hey you did not like "It Will Be Ok"?  
  
Ross: So what is it?  
  
Rachel: Do you remember how you said you want to go back to New York for Thanksgiving?  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: Well I use my Vice President pull to get four first class tickets.  
  
Ross: (Hugs here.) Oh thank you so much. But I figured you guys would not want to go back to Joey goes on break.  
  
Rachel: Yeah but we are week. Plus we want to see baby Joey.  
  
Ross: Thank you. I ready need this.  
  
Rachel: So what you guys doing?  
  
Ben: Another boring night watching the learning station.  
  
(Rachel laughs.)  
  
Ross: I do not get you guys. When I was young I would watch this all the time.  
  
Rachel: And that why you got laid so much in high school.  
  
(Rachel walks into the nursery and picks up Jenny.)  
  
Rachel: Good morning honey. (She turns and sees a cage with a mouse in it.) Where it looks like Joey had a change of heart.  
  
(Joey walks in.)  
  
Joey: I see you like my solution.  
  
Rachel: Why did you keep it? You were supposed to get rid of it.  
  
Joey: But you said it was no big deal. And Jenny called it her friend.  
  
Rachel: But it is a mouse. (She goes to take it out of the cage but Jenny starts crying.) Damn. She can have a pony right now if she wants.  
  
Joey: So you can ride?  
  
Rachel: Yeah.  
  
  
  
The End ~109 TOW Thanksgiving In New York ~ coming after the break. 


	9. 109 TOW Thanksgiving In New York

~109 TOW Thanksgiving In New York~  
  
(Chandler, Monica, Baby Joey, and Phoebe are waiting inside the airport.)  
  
Phoebe: I wonder why they are coming back so soon?  
  
Chandler: Because Ross was upset after backing up with Jessie?  
  
Phoebe: So they going to visit anytime Ross gets dump? Man they are going to wear out their welcome.  
  
(Ross holding Jenny, Joey, and Rachel coming walking up.)  
  
Phoebe: (Hugs Rachel and Joey.) I so glad you guys are back.  
  
Monica: Here is baby Joey. (Hands him to Joey.)  
  
Joey: Oh my god? Look at little Joey.  
  
Rachel: Like all Joey's he is cute.  
  
Monica: That why I did not named Chandler Joey Geller.  
  
Ross: Where is Richard?  
  
Monica: He out of town having Thanksgiving with his kids.  
  
Rachel: We better go get our bags.  
  
(They are hug. Rachel, Joey, and Ross go to get bags. Chandler has Jenny.)  
  
Chandler: So we are in agreement?  
  
Phoebe: Yeah. They turn into a bunch of L.A snobs.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Everyone is in baby Joey nursery.)  
  
Monica: Now do touch anything. Joey put that down.  
  
(Joey puts something back on the dresser.)  
  
Rachel: I look anywhere for these sheets. Where did you find them?  
  
Monica: At a strip mall outside of the city. Only 9.99.  
  
Rachel: Well I found some nice ones on Rodeo Drive.  
  
Phoebe: (Whispers to Chandler.) Look at her throwing around the fact she shops on Rodeo Drive like nothing.  
  
Ross: So you guys want to go out to dinner tonight? My treat.  
  
Chandler: So well do you want to go? And not the Hard-Rock Café'.  
  
Joey: What about the Rainbow Room?  
  
Ross: But you need to ahead weeks in advance.  
  
Joey: Not when you a big TV star. Here I go to Chandler's and make the call.  
  
Rachel: I will come with. Jenny needs a nap.  
  
(Joey, Rachel, Monica, and Ross leave the nursery with the kids.)  
  
Chandler: Not when you a big TV star. (Mimicking Joey.)  
  
Phoebe: What has a little fame and money done to our "friends".  
  
(Joey and Rachel are making out in Chandler's chair when he walks in.)  
  
Chandler: Hey you guys. Oh look. It is like old times.  
  
Rachel: Hey I have to call my Mom. She wants to see Jenny and I figure I let her baby sit her tonight.  
  
Joey: I heard her say she wanted to spend time with both of you.  
  
Rachel: Yeah but I will like to enjoy my trip to New York.  
  
(Rachel grabs the phone and walks into Joey's old room.)  
  
Chandler: Hey we have a few hours before dinner. You want to do anything?  
  
Joey: Sure. What about go hang out at the coffee house?  
  
Chandler: Ok. I tell anyone else.  
  
(Chandler leaves. Joey walks towards his old room.)  
  
Joey: Rach Chandler and I are. (Rachel runs out.) Going to the coffee house. You want to join us?  
  
Rachel: I can't. I have to take Jenny to my mom's.  
  
(Joey tries to look into his old room but Rachel stops him.)  
  
Joey: Why you preventing me from looking in there.  
  
Rachel: Come on Joey. Let's get going.  
  
Joey: Ok. Looks like I have to play hardball. (He picks her up and walks into his room. He drops her.) He painted my room pink.  
  
(Chandler, Ross, Phoebe and Monica are sitting around the coffee house.)  
  
Monica: So how is it in L.A?  
  
Ross: It is ok. I like the weather better.  
  
Phoebe: (Whisper to Chandler.) There he goes again. Bragging about his great life.  
  
(Joey storms in.)  
  
Chandler: Hey Jo.  
  
Joey: Don't hey Jo me. You painted my room pink.  
  
(Everyone else gets up and leaves.)  
  
Chandler: But you do not even. (Jumps up.) Wait for me.  
  
(Everyone is eating at the Rainbow Room.)  
  
Rachel: This is so good.  
  
Joey: You guys come here often?  
  
Phoebe: Not us much as we like. We are not a big TV star like you are after all.  
  
Ross: Hey I got the check. (Grabs it.)  
  
Monica: Are you sure? We can pay for ourselves.  
  
Joey: It is ok. We got it covered.  
  
Chandler: That is it. (Chandler gets up and walks away.)  
  
Ross: What was that about?  
  
Phoebe: He sick of you guys talking about your money. You guys are holding it over our heads.  
  
Rachel: I get it. (Whisper to Joey and Ross.)  
  
Ross: (Pulls out his check book.) So how much do you guys need?  
  
(Monica and Phoebe storm off.)  
  
(Rachel, Joey, and Ross are sitting around the coffee house.)  
  
Rachel: I still cannot believe they storm off last night.  
  
Ross: How did we come off like snobs?  
  
Joey: It's not our fault. They are just jealous.  
  
(Monica and Chandler come in with baby Joey.)  
  
Monica: Hi.  
  
Joey: Don't hi us. You accuse us of being snobs.  
  
Monica: But you guys are acting like it.  
  
Joey: Would snobs hangout in a coffee house are day? (Guther hands him a cup of coffee. He hands him a bill.)  
  
Guther: Sorry I cannot break a 100.  
  
Joey: But that are I have.  
  
Chandler: Phoebe is not coming to Thanksgiving dinner because of your guys.  
  
Rachel: What?  
  
Joey: I will go talk with her.  
  
(Joey gets up and leaves.)  
  
Ross: Hey what is it than made us come off as snobs?  
  
Monica: Just the little things. Like Rachel bagging about shopping at Rodeo drive all the time.  
  
Rachel: Sorry. But our money has not change that we are. Remember when I use to a waiter in this place and you were a head chief or Joey and unemployed actor. I know Ross as always been a snob but hey that part of him.  
  
Ross: Huh? (They stare at him.) Yeah I guess you right.  
  
Chandler: What about me?  
  
Monica: Oh you are just Chandler. Are gay. I mean I little friend who worked all those years in a job he hate.  
  
(Joey knocks on Phoebe apartment door. Phoebe opens it slightly.)  
  
Joey: Can I come in? We need to talk.  
  
Phoebe: We can talk with you standing right there.  
  
Joey: Ok look I'm sorry if we acted like we were above you. It just we forget sometimes we have tons more money now.  
  
Phoebe: No I'm sorry. I have been hiding a secret. I'm a snob.  
  
(She opens the door wide. You see a bunch of fancy and new stuff inside.)  
  
Joey: Oh my god Phoebe how could you afford all this stuff.  
  
Phoebe: I have a new job.  
  
Joey: What? You're a hooker?  
  
Phoebe: No.  
  
(Joey walks over to a desk and picks it up.)  
  
Joey: A Friends Like Us script.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah. Don't you remember you send me one?  
  
Joey: But this is for a show not even shot yet.  
  
Phoebe: Oh right you got it out of me. I'm the head writer of Friends Like Us. But come one. Someone was bond to right a story about us.  
  
Joey: True. But hey can you make Ross less of a geek?  
  
Phoebe: Sure. (Joey leaves.) Right after the weekend at Science camp.  
  
(Everyone is down stairs expect Joey.)  
  
Monica: I cannot believe you already going.  
  
Chandler: But we are going out there for Christmas.  
  
Ross: (Holding baby Joey.) You take care of you mom for me ok?  
  
Monica: Hey let me see him?  
  
Rachel: Where is Joey anyway?  
  
(Joey walks out with a big sandwich.)  
  
Joey: Sorry. I was fixing a snack for the ride to the airport.  
  
Ross: But it only ten minutes.  
  
Joey: Damn it. I knew I should have made a ham one too.  
  
  
  
The End ~110 TOW Ross Lawsuit ~ Coming Soon. 


	10. 110 TOW Ross Lawsuit

~110 TOW Ross Lawsuit~  
  
(Rachel is at a meeting at work.)  
  
Rachel: So the profits for the third quarter will be higher than expect, no thanks to my ideas. Well that it for today. See you are next week.  
  
(Everyone gets up to leave expect for a woman who walks up to her.)  
  
Rachel: Oh hi Amanda.  
  
Amanda: Hi Rachel. I have to ask you for a big favor.  
  
Rachel: No more wild parties after work.  
  
Amanda: That not it. How did you know I was the one who threw those?  
  
Rachel: You send the whole building and e-mail about it. Anyway want is your favor?  
  
Amanda: I need Friday off so I can get out of town early.  
  
Rachel: Well I guess. Just make sure you finish those reports before you leave.  
  
Amanda: I got them right here in fact.  
  
(She hands them to her and leaves. Rachel puts them down on the table. She turns around and knocks a cup of coffee are over them.)  
  
Rachel: Oh man. (She dials her cell phone.) Yeah can you inform Amanda she cannot have Friday off after are.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ross is dropping Jenny off with Joey.)  
  
Joey: Why are you so dress up?  
  
Ross: Because I have a meeting today about that lawsuit.  
  
Joey: Oh yeah. That student you put the moves on.  
  
Ross: I did not put the moves on her.  
  
Joey: Good. You sound like you believe yourself when you said that.  
  
Ross: Joe. Anyway I got a lawyer. She is pretty hot.  
  
Joey: Hey you better watch it. You do not want a lawyer on you butt, unless you like that kind of thing.  
  
Ross: And let you never been sued.  
  
(Ross leaves as Rachel walks in.)  
  
Joey: Hi honey.  
  
(They start kissing.)  
  
Joey: How was your day?  
  
Rachel: Horrible. They hate me at work.  
  
Joey: Why do you think that?  
  
Rachel: Because they think I'm bitch.  
  
Joey: Why would they think that?  
  
Rachel: I'm not sure.  
  
Joey: Ok. Why do you tell me some stuff that happens at work?  
  
Rachel: Sure. Like today Amanda finish all the reports for the week early and wanted Friday off. So I gave it to her. But I end up spilling coffee are over them and took her day off away so she can redo them.  
  
(Joey walks away shaking his head.)  
  
Rachel: Bitch?  
  
Joey: We can use that if we want to be nice to you.  
  
(Ross is talking to his lawyer in a meeting room.)  
  
Lawyer: Ok let's go over some background questions. Have your every had a relationship with a student before?  
  
Ross: A former student.  
  
Lawyer: How former was she?  
  
Ross: Ten minutes.  
  
Lawyer: Ok. They are going to ask about past relationships. So if they ask you about it just tell them the whole story. So tell we want happen.  
  
Ross: Well I was posting the grades for the class. She read them and told me how cute I was.  
  
Lawyer: (Laughing.) You cannot lie that much.  
  
Ross: Anyway I ask her if she was the student who left comments about how cute I'm on the performance forms they filled out about me. And she was so we started to go out.  
  
Lawyer: Did the school now about it?  
  
Ross: No, because it was against the rules even with a former student.  
  
Lawyer: (Stands up.) Well we are pretty screwed if the find out about this.  
  
(The phone rings. She picks it up.)  
  
Ross: Who is it?  
  
Lawyer: Great. (Hangs up.) They drop the case. It seems that Amanda has a history of false suits.  
  
Ross: Oh thank you. (Hugs her.)  
  
Lawyer: What did I do?  
  
Ross: Really nothing Amy. But I can have tell we would of won this case.  
  
Amy: I do not think so.  
  
Ross: Hey it still early. Would you like to go out to victory dinner?  
  
Amy: Sure.  
  
(Joey walks into the study. Rachel is working on the computer.)  
  
Joey: I just put Jenny down to sleep. Now we can play.  
  
Rachel: I cannot tonight. I have to rewrite these reports. (Starts to cry.) They really hate me.  
  
Joey: (Hugs her.) They do not hate you.  
  
Rachel: Yes they do. I went to the company's website message board. They have a we hate Rachel section.  
  
Joey: Well that want happens when you became the boss. They are jealous of you so they turn it into hate. Plus you are married to a big TV star.  
  
Rachel: So it all you fault?  
  
Joey: Yeah. I have been a bad boy.  
  
(They start making out.)  
  
(Ross is walking Amy to her door.)  
  
Ross: Man I so glad anything work out great.  
  
Amy: Yeah. I guess I wall call in the next couple of days.  
  
Ross: Amy I was wondering if we could go out for another victory dinner or a movie this weekend.  
  
Amy: Like a date?  
  
Ross: Yes, I guess.  
  
Amy: Ok, if it not too soon for you.  
  
Ross: No. So I will call you later. (They kiss lightly.) Bye.  
  
(Everyone is sitting around the boardroom as Rachel walks in.)  
  
Rachel: I now that you guys might be upset I called this meeting so early in the morning.  
  
Someone from the back of the room: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: Anyway I called it to say I'm sorry. I realize I been a mean boss. Like making Amanda redo reports I ruin.  
  
Amanda: True, true.  
  
Rachel: Oh asking you guys to come to that Saturday meeting when I was late that one morning last month.  
  
Amanda: You said you had to do to the doctors.  
  
Rachel: I slept in.  
  
Amanda: Maybe we have been too nice to you.  
  
Rachel: Perhaps. Hey I trying to make amends. Anyone for now on if you guys have a problem just talk to me. Remember not to long ago I was whining about my bosses.  
  
Amanda: We have not whine.  
  
Rachel: Ok. Complain.  
  
Amanda: We have just spoken the truth.  
  
Rachel: That it. (Upset.) You get to redo the reports. (Slams them down and walk out.)  
  
Amanda: Just ok. I spilled coke on them before she ruined them with the coffee.  
  
(Ross and Joey are playing X-Box.)  
  
Ross: So I got a date with her this weekend.  
  
Joey: Do you think it might be a little too soon?  
  
Ross: My Brain says so but my gut and heart says give her a chance. I have been listing to my brain too much. It kept saying no more getting married and you see where that got me.  
  
Joey: Have you every use just your gut and heart once before?  
  
Ross: (Gets worried.) Yes, once.  
  
Joey: When?  
  
Ross: When I said Rachel's name.  
  
Joey: Maybe balance is the key.  
  
  
  
The End ~TOW A L.A Christmas~ coming soon 


	11. 111 TOW L.A Christmas

~111 TOW The L.A Christmas~  
  
(Ross, Rachel, and Joey are standing in Rachel and Joey's living room. They are looking at a small "classy" tree.)  
  
Rachel: So what do you think?  
  
Joey: What the hell happened to it?  
  
Ross: Yeah did it burned?  
  
Rachel: No. That is the style. I got it downtown. All the big stars have it.  
  
Ross: All the big stars get divorce. Ok Joey you should finish that sentence.  
  
Rachel: Come on you guys. It's the L.A Christmas. Can we try it this year?  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
Ross: I guess.  
  
Rachel: Oh great. (She leaves the room.)  
  
Joey: (Crying.) What have she done to Christmas?  
  
Ross: (Starts crying.) I do not know.  
  
(Opening Credits)  
  
(Monica with Baby Joey and Phoebe walks into Ross's house. Ross walks in carrying all the bags.)  
  
Ross: (Puts the bags down.) I cannot believe they upgrade you guys up to first class? How did it happen?  
  
Phoebe: (Starts to cry.) I do not know? I'm just a single mother. (Ross stares at her.) It better when I'm holding baby Joey.  
  
Ross: You allow how to use her baby to get free stuff?  
  
Monica: Well I'm not going to do it. What type of mother do you think I'm?  
  
(Joey and Chandler are in Rachel's study.)  
  
Chandler: Where did you find all this porn?  
  
Joey: I just got lucky I guess. (Rachel walks in.) So Chandler that is how you use the new Works program.  
  
Rachel: Oh my god why is the first thing you two do is look at porn.  
  
Chandler: That like asking why Dogs lick themselves.  
  
Rachel: I have to go do some last minute shopping. Can I trust you two will not allow Jenny to see this stuff?  
  
Joey: Hey has that has never happen, this week?  
  
(Rachel leaves.)  
  
Chandler: Hey you want to go shake the gifts under the tree?  
  
Joey: What you think? I did it twice already.  
  
(They get up but stops and stares at the screen.)  
  
Chandler: How about a half hour.  
  
(Ross is feeding baby Joey as Monica watch.)  
  
Monica: No you holding him wrong.  
  
Ross: What? This is how I hold Ben and Jenny.  
  
Monica: Well I'm shocked they are alive.  
  
(Phoebe walks in.)  
  
Phoebe: Oh Ross. I best not to hold him at all. Monica freaks at anything.  
  
Monica: What? I do not freak at anything.  
  
Phoebe: Yes you do. Remember last week you chew out your mom.  
  
Ross: You chew out mom?  
  
Monica: Phoebe your saw want she was doing.  
  
Phoebe: She lifted his leg up because she was changing his diaper.  
  
Monica: So is Ben and. (Stares at Ross.) Oh you idiot just give him to me. (Ross hands Baby Joey to him.)  
  
Ross: Ben and Carol are coming over Christmas morning.  
  
Phoebe: Oh I did not get him anything.  
  
Ross: That is ok Pheebes. Hey you can come shopping with me today. I have to pick up something for Rachel.  
  
Monica: What are you getting her?  
  
Ross: Something she has always wanted.  
  
Monica: You mean a sign autograph of Tom Cruise?  
  
Ross: Yep. I had to pull a lot of strings to get it too.  
  
(Joey, Chandler, and Jenny are around the gifts. They are in two piles.)  
  
Joey: Ok. That huge pile is for baby Joey. And this tiny one is for anyone else.  
  
Jenny: (Hugging the big pile.) Mine gifts.  
  
Joey: No Jenny. Those are for the baby.  
  
Jenny: (Points to herself.) Baby. Baby.  
  
Joey: No you a big girl.  
  
Chandler: And big girls get fewer gifts than babies.  
  
Joey: Ok time for your nap. (Picks her up and walks upstairs.)  
  
Chandler: Finally I can have so fun. (Picks up a small box.) This is for me but what is it. (Shakes it.) Perhaps a key for a car.  
  
Joey: (Walking back down.) We really got 100 more gifts for her in the bedroom. That way Santa can sneak in and being them down.  
  
Chandler: So you play Santa?  
  
Joey: No. Santa sneaks in to houses and takes the gifts out of parent's bedrooms and puts the them under the tree. He adds the Christmas sprit to them.  
  
Chandler: Ok. (Confuse.)  
  
Joey: Oh do not tell me you still believe he flies around all night with a big bag of gifts.  
  
Chandler: No they never did. (There is a knock on the door.) I will get that, maybe it the Easter Bunny.  
  
Joey: Know you just talking silly. He never comes out before the spring.  
  
(Chandler answers the door. It is Carol with a few gifts.)  
  
Carol: Hey can you keep Ben gifts her and put them under.(She the "tree".) that stick thing.  
  
Chandler: Sure. Santa will put it them there personally.  
  
(Ross is allowing Ben to hold baby Joey.)  
  
Ben: He is so small.  
  
Ross: (Looking around scared.) Ok Ben let me see him If you Aunt Monica sees. (Monica walks in.)  
  
Monica: Oh how cute. (Takes Baby Joey, he starts to cry.) Ben can you live the room so I can talk to you dad for a minute.  
  
(Ben leaves the room.)  
  
Monica: What the hell are you thinking?  
  
Ross: Oh calm down Monica. He held Emma all the time.  
  
Monica: Yeah but this is my baby.  
  
Ross: That what I tried to tell him. Hey what were Phoebe and you doing?  
  
Monica: Setting up the Christmas skull.  
  
Ross: (Starts running.) I do not want Ben to see any weird stuff like that.  
  
Monica: And you think I'm nuts.  
  
(It is the middle of the night. Rachel is down stairs putting gifts anywhere. Joey starts sleepwalking downstairs.)  
  
Joey: Hey who is making that sound? Is that you Santa?  
  
Rachel: Yes.  
  
Joey: Good. (Opens his eyes.) What the hell? (Starts to cry.)  
  
(It is Christmas day. Everyone is opening his or her gifts. Monica is buried in Baby Joey gifts. Joey is not opening his.)  
  
Carol: What got in to him?  
  
Ross: He is upset at Rachel. He thinks she took all the fun out of it.  
  
Chandler: Yeah. This Christmas does suck.  
  
Phoebe: What? You do not like my mini skull head I gave you. (Hold it up to him.)  
  
Chandler: Well I guess it not all bad. (Rolls his eyes.)  
  
Monica: (Tries to get up but is trap by all the gifts.) Help I'm stuck.  
  
(Rachel walks over to Joey.)  
  
Joey: Go away. You ruin Christmas with your L.A crap.  
  
Rachel: Come on Jo. At least go outback for one of your gifts. It one you have been dreaming in your sleep about.  
  
Joey: We can't do that out there. Besides people is around.  
  
Chandler: Hey looks like I will have use for this new video camera.  
  
Rachel: (Stares at Chandler.) Not that. I promise you are going to love it.  
  
Joey: Ok.  
  
(They walk out back. There is a snow machine with a bunch of snow on the ground.)  
  
Joey: You brought snow from New York.  
  
Rachel: Yeah.  
  
Ross: Snow Angles.  
  
(They are start jumping in the snow and make snow angles. Monica screams from inside the house.)  
  
Chandler: (Jumps up.) I will save you. (Jumps back down.) But having too much fun.  
  
The End ~112 TOW Jenny's Play Group~ Coming Soon. 


	12. 112 TOW Jenny Playmate Group

~ 112 TOW Jenny Playmate Group ~  
  
(Joey is watching TV as Rachel walks in with Jenny.)  
  
Joey: So you are taking Jenny to her first Playmate group. (Smiles.)  
  
Rachel: Not that type of playmate. How many times do I have to tell you?  
  
Joey: You better not be lying.  
  
Rachel: Well we got to go. (She waits for him to kiss her, but he focus on the TV.) Bye.  
  
(Her and Jenny walk out the door. The phone rings.)  
  
Joey: Rach can you get that? Rach? (Picks up the phone.) Oh hi. They want to interview for my Playboy? Tonight at the mansion? Of course I'm there. (Joey hangs the phone up and picks it back up and dials.) Ross you would not believe it. Playboy wants to interview me and the best part is at the mansion tonight. And I can bring one guest. Well if you promise not to talk about science you can go. Ok I will pick you up in 15 minutes.  
  
(Joey hangs up the phone and starts dancing.)  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Rachel and Jenny walk in a room. There are a bunch of other kids with their moms. A lady walks up to them.)  
  
Lady: Hi I'm Monica.  
  
Jenny: Aunt Monica.  
  
Rachel: No she is not Aunt Monica. Her name is also Monica.  
  
Monica: If anyone is here lets start with a group sign alone. Anyone sit down around the circle on the rug.  
  
(Everyone sits down.)  
  
Monica: Lets start with anyone favorite?  
  
Rachel: Not the Little School Bus.  
  
(Anyone starts singing it. Rachel looks annoy.)  
  
Monica: Rachel do you feel ok?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. It just I'll always hated this song.  
  
Monica: So why don't you pick one?  
  
Rachel: A song? That could be sang in with kids?  
  
(Joey and Ross at the gate of the playboy mansion.)  
  
Joey: TV star Joey Tribbuani and one his guest.  
  
Ross: Oh boy I'm a guess at the playboy mansion.  
  
Joey: All you going to try to hook up with any of the bunnies?  
  
Ross: Yes. I'm single after all.  
  
Joey: Yeah. Lucky bastard.  
  
(Joey and Ross are walking around the back yard of the mansion.)  
  
Joey: Oh my god would look at this place.  
  
Ross: (Staring at the swimming pool.) I should have begun my swim trunks.  
  
Joey: You do not need them. They sure don't have any thing on.  
  
(A guy walks up to him.)  
  
Guy: Hi I'm Bob. I will be interviewing you. Afterwards I would give you the full tour.  
  
Joey: Interview? We are here to see the hot babes.  
  
Ross: Joey you are here to be interview by Playboy.  
  
Joey: Oh yeah. Sorry.  
  
Ross: I'm here to meet the babes. (Ross starts to walk around.)  
  
(The playmate group is playing with blocks.)  
  
Monica: Ok I see that anyone has them stack up expect for Jenny. Rachel is she having trouble.  
  
Rachel: No she doing fine Monica. Come on hurry. (Jenny just tosses them around.) No like this. (Rachel's stacks three on each other and hands Jenny the last one. She tosses it and breaks the stack.)  
  
Monica: Just ok. She has tons of time to catch up to the others.  
  
Rachel: What the hell does that mean?  
  
Monica: It just some kids learn slower than others.  
  
Rachel: She only 19 months old. I'm getting out of here.  
  
(She grabs Jenny and storms out.)  
  
(Joey and Ross are driving home.)  
  
Ross: I do not believe I have a date with a playmate. I mean I have her phone name right her. (Shows him a piece of paper.) And you do not have a date with one.  
  
Joey: I'm married.  
  
Ross: Yeah but not a single one hit on you.  
  
Joey: I know. That has me worried I lost my touch.  
  
(Ross just laughs.)  
  
Joey: That is it. (Pulls the car over.) If you going to laugh out me you can walk home. I'm not going to drive out of my way for you.  
  
Ross: Drive out of my way? We live on the same block.  
  
Joey: Get out.  
  
(Ross gets out and Joey drives arrive.)  
  
(Joey walks inside his house while Rachel is on the couch crying.)  
  
Joey: Oh honey want is wrong?  
  
Rachel: Jenny is stupid like me.  
  
Joey: Come one she is not. First off you are not stupid.  
  
Rachel: Yes I'm. I was a waitress at a coffee shop for over two years.  
  
Joey: So what. You a Vice President of a major company now.  
  
Rachel: But what about her? She was the dumbest one in here group. She was the only one not to stack here blocks.  
  
Joey: Come on. She likely thought it was dumb.  
  
Rachel: This is all my fault.  
  
Joey: Why you say that?  
  
Rachel: Because I wish should would not end up a nerd like Ross. It has work because she dumb like me.  
  
Joey: It will be ok. Maybe we should start reading to her and stuff.  
  
Rachel: Ok. (Stops crying.) I heard that good for little kids. In fact I will go out right now and buy some books. (She gets up to leave.) By the way where would I buy books for kids?  
  
Joey: Hell I do not even know will to buy adult books, (Starts smiling.) while the non-picture kind.  
  
(Rachel leaves as Ross walks in.)  
  
Ross: Did he tell you the great news?  
  
Rachel: Well I do not care. I'm off to buy some books for Jenny. She dumb like me you know.  
  
Ross: I do not care. I have a date with a playmate.  
  
Rachel: (Laughs.) Thanks I need a good laugh.  
  
(Ross walks into the living room as She leaves.)  
  
Joey: Hey look dude I'm sorry I made you walk home. It just I was jealous of you and I did not know how to handle it.  
  
Ross: Wow. Hold on a minute. You just said you are Jealous of me. Can I tape that and use it later.  
  
Joey: Oh my god. (Laughs.) I forgot want a loser you are. I'm no jealous anymore.  
  
(Ross leaves upset.)  
  
(Rachel is reading the Cat In The Hat to Jenny.)  
  
Rachel: The end. (Puts the book down.) How did you like the story honey?  
  
Jenny: Ok.  
  
Rachel: Cool. I got tons more to read but it time for you to go to bed.  
  
Jenny: No. More books.  
  
Rachel: Tomorrow Jenny. But it time for you to sleep.  
  
(She puts her in the crib and leaves. Joey walks up to Rachel.)  
  
Rachel: Great news. She is smarter already.  
  
Joey: How can you tell?  
  
Rachel: She is giving me hell about going to bed.  
  
Joey: There you go.  
  
(Ross is kissing his date on her doorstep.)  
  
Denise: I had a great time.  
  
Ross: So how about that movie on Friday Denise?  
  
Denise: Sure. (Kisses him.) Well bye.  
  
(Denise walks inside.)  
  
Ross: (Walking away.) Damn. I did not score with a playmate.  
  
  
  
The End ~113 TOW The Hollywood Party~ 


	13. 113 TOW The Hollywood Party

~ 113 TOW The Hollywood Party ~  
  
(Joey is buttoning his shirt in the bathroom as Rachel walks in dress up.)  
  
Joey: When is Ross getting here?  
  
Rachel: After he drops Jenny off at Carol's. You need help with your tie.  
  
Joey: Yes. (Rachel puts his tie on him.) Just is our first big Hollywood party.  
  
Rachel: I know. I just upset I cannot take photos.  
  
Joey: Just remember to not stay anything stupid or it will end up in the papers.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, yeah I know.  
  
(There is a know at the door.)  
  
Joey: That must be Ross.  
  
Rachel: I will get it.  
  
(Rachel heads downstairs and opens the door. Ross is in a light blue suit.)  
  
Rachel: Oh my.  
  
Ross: You like. I really wanted to make a splash.  
  
Rachel: You may even make the papers.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Joey, Ross, and Rachel are in the car.)  
  
Joey: (Driving.) How can you dress up in that crap?  
  
Ross: Oh shut up. I look fine.  
  
Joey: If you was a smuf. Rach tell him.  
  
Ross: Yeah Rach tells him how you like it.  
  
Rachel: I'm not dumb enough to get in the middle of this.  
  
Ross: That is code for I do not want to disagree with my husband.  
  
Joey: Oh it is I do not want to make my loser of a ex-boyfriend feel bad.  
  
Rachel: Will the two of you just shut up?  
  
Ross: He started it.  
  
(They pull up to front of a house and get out. A worker takes the car to be park.)  
  
Joey: (Takes Rachel arm.) We do not know him? (They walk inside.)  
  
Ross: Oh yeah. I do not know you.  
  
(Ross is talking with a group of people including Martin Sheen. Joey and Rachel are standing by a wall by themselves.)  
  
Joey: Look at that. They must feel sorry for him.  
  
Rachel: Yeah that is it. (Rolls her eyes.) I'm going to head over there to see want is up.  
  
(Rachel walks over to the group.)  
  
Sheen: I love that suit of yours. It makes you stand out.  
  
Ross: Well thank you. Some people I came with do not like it. Oh hey Rach. Martin this is Rachel Green, Rachel this is.  
  
Rachel: Martin Sheen. I love you on the West Wing.  
  
Martin: Thanks.  
  
(Joey just watches with his eyes widen.)  
  
Ross: Well you excuse me I how to look for Jim Carry. We were talking about the T-Rex early but he had to go to the restroom.  
  
(Ross walks away is Joey runs up.)  
  
Joey: Hi. Joey Tribbiani, star of Friends Like Us. (Instead his hand.)  
  
Martin: Oh you want an autograph. (Reaches in his jacket.)  
  
(Ross is talking with Jim Carry.)  
  
Jim: So the T-Rex was not as much as a meat eater as we are lead to believe.  
  
Ross: No, no.  
  
Jim: Hey I have to run since I suppose to be on set early in the morning.  
  
Ross: Nice meeting you Mr. Carry.  
  
Jim: Please call me at this number. (Hands him a card.) I might be able to get you a small role in it.  
  
Ross: Oh thanks.  
  
(Jim leaves as Joey walks up.)  
  
Ross: My god. Jim is going to get me a part in his the movie he is shooting.  
  
Joey: Yeah right. He just said that so you would shut up.  
  
Ross: Well how many offers for a job did you get tonight?  
  
Joey: One.  
  
Ross: Oh yeah that right. They want you to use your voice in a diet pill commercial.  
  
Joey: Still. It is work.  
  
(Rachel runs up.)  
  
Rachel: Would you two knock it off? I'm afraid to be seen with either of you.  
  
Joey: Ok. Let's just try to stay out of each others hair to we leave.  
  
Ross: Fine.  
  
(Joey walks away.)  
  
Rachel: Hey you would not believe it. I was talking to Jim Carry early about fashion and he offered me a role in the movie he is shooting.  
  
Ross: No way. He offer me a row to just a minute ago.  
  
Rachel: Come on you kidding me. He left right after he hand me his card. It was like 20 minutes ago.  
  
Ross: No he did not. He must have been playing you since you went on about fashion.  
  
Rachel: Maybe he was playing you. What boring thing were you talking about with him?  
  
Ross: The T-Rex. Man, Jim Carry has played us.  
  
Rachel: Look he over there talking to Sheen.  
  
(They both walk up to them.)  
  
Jim: Oh my god they both coming over.  
  
Ross: Hey Jim you were not trying to play us so we leave you alone was you?  
  
Jim: No. It just Martin stop me to ask a question about something. (Stares at Martin.)  
  
Martin: Yeah I wanted to ask you about the name of that movie you star in where you were a cable guy?  
  
Jim: You mean the Cable Guy?  
  
Martin: Yeah what was the name of it?  
  
Rachel: So you was not trying to play me neither?  
  
Jim: I sorry I was. It just I do not find fashion that interesting.  
  
Rachel: But the T-Rex is!  
  
(Rachel storms off to Joey crying.)  
  
Joey: Here, here Rach. Hey lets go find a room upstairs and have sex?  
  
Rachel: Ok. By the way whose house is this?  
  
Joey: Rob Lowe's I think. I wonder where he is?  
  
(They walk upstairs where the run into Lowe.)  
  
Rob: Hi. I hope you enjoy the party Joey?  
  
Joey: It is ok. Hey this is my wife Rachel Green. Rach this is Rob Lowe.  
  
Rachel: Hi. (Shake hands.) What you doing up here?  
  
Rob: Trying to avoid that guy who is talking about the T-Rex, Ross Geller. Who the hell bring him anyway?  
  
Joey: We have no idea. You mind if you look around up here?  
  
Rob: No go ahead. Just have sex in the third room to the left. I always wash the sheets after every party from that room.  
  
Rachel: Thanks.  
  
(Rachel and Joey head into the room. Ross has Brandon Whiteford cornered.)  
  
Ross: So will you pass alone the idea of a whole West Wing episode base on the President at a science expo?  
  
Brandon: (Looks scared.) Sure. I have to get going.  
  
(Brandon runs out of the house. Rob walks up to him.)  
  
Rob: Hey buddy why are you here? Who the hell allow you in?  
  
Ross: Oh I came with Joey Tribbiani.  
  
Rob: Really. He is upstairs right now. Why don't you go get him and leave? He is in the third room on the left.  
  
(Ross walks upstairs and opens the door.)  
  
Ross: Man these stars are all jerks. So you two sneak off to have sex.  
  
(Joey is reading a tabloid paper on his couch. Ross and Rachel are sitting in chairs.)  
  
Joey: I cannot believe you two talk to them about this.  
  
Rachel: The only reason I talk to them was because Ross told them we was on a break.  
  
Ross: Hey they believe I was right.  
  
Joey: Thank god I have an agent that can clear this up. I'm going on Leno tonight. And any neither of you is going backstage with me.  
  
Ross: Fine.  
  
(The phone rings. Rachel picks it up.)  
  
Rachel: Yeah. I guess you can say I had mix feelings when he said my name instead of hers.  
  
(Ross grabs the phone and hands it to Joey. He chucks it.)  
  
Rachel: Joey that was about my boss naming Lisa instead of me as head of overseas sales. We talk about it. I glad I did not get it because it would mean I would have to travel all the time.  
  
Joey: Well, maybe they were going to try to change your mind.  
  
  
  
The End ~ 114 TOW Joey Wants A Baby ~ Coming Soon 


	14. 114 TOW Joey Wants A Baby

~ 114 TOW Joey Wants A Baby ~  
  
(Rachel and Ross are walking around the park with Jenny. Joey watches from a distance.)  
  
Joey: (Talking to himself.) Look at them walking around as a family. That should be Rachel and I. (Shakes his head.) What the hell I'm saying? I'm talking like I crazy. The only thing they are doing is having ice cream with their daughter. Wait he is pointing at her breasts. Or she just spilled ice cream on it.  
  
(Ross, Rachel, and Joey walk by.)  
  
Ross: We are going over to the pond.  
  
Rachel: You going to come.  
  
Joey: No I just going to sit here and enjoy the day.  
  
Rachel: Checking out the chicks?  
  
Joey: Only the best looking one in the park.  
  
Ross: You saw that blond too? (Joey nods.)  
  
Rachel: Ok we will be back in a few minutes.  
  
(Joey watches them walk away as some old lady sits down next to them.)  
  
Old Lady: Cute looking family. Are they your friends?  
  
Joey: No she is my wife; he is my friend, and she my stepdaughter.  
  
Old Lady: Sorry.  
  
Joey: Get out of here, I'm thinking!  
  
(She gets up and leaves.)  
  
Joey: It should be Rachel and I walking around with our kid.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ross is setting the table as Joey, Jenny, and Rachel walks inside the house.)  
  
Ross: Everyone is ready. Just take a seat.  
  
Rachel: Ok but Jenny is not feeling well. I'm going to lay her down for a nap.  
  
Jenny: No nap.  
  
Joey: Hey I can do it.  
  
Jenny: I nap with Joey.  
  
Rachel: Ok Jo you can take her.  
  
(Joey picks Jenny up. They walk upstairs.)  
  
Ross: He is going to make a great Dad.  
  
Rachel: What? Why you saying that for. We are not going to have a kid anytime soon.  
  
Ross: I'm just saying.  
  
(Joey puts Jenny in the crib.)  
  
Joey: Hey can I ask you something. Would you like a little brother or sister to play with?  
  
Jenny: Play, yes.  
  
Joey: Ok you on board. Now we have to get you mom to go along with it.  
  
(Joey walks back downstairs.)  
  
Joey: He Ross why did you have a ladies shaver in you restroom.  
  
Rachel: (Laughing.) Oh that because he shaves his chest with it.  
  
Ross: Hey I told you to never tell anyone about that. (Joey laughs hard.)  
  
Rachel: What you laughing at. You do the same.  
  
Ross: Hey I want to ask you about something we were talking about. Rach said it is going to be a long time before you have a kid.  
  
Joey: (Looks hurt.) Yeah I guess.  
  
Rachel: (Sees Joey's face.) Hey we do not need to talk about this.  
  
Ross: Oh come on. I mean how long before Jenny has a little brother or sister?  
  
Rachel: Hey lets talk about Ross shaving his thighs instead.  
  
(Joey walks into Rachel and his house carrying a sleeping Jenny.)  
  
Joey: I will go put her in the crib.  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
(Joey walks upstairs and lays her down. He starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: Hey I know you want a little brother or sister to kick away but it looks like it will be a while, if ever. I did not think you mom wants to have a baby with me.  
  
(He kisses her forehead. When he turns around he sees Rachel they're crying.)  
  
Joey: Rach.  
  
Rachel: I got to go. (She runs downstairs and out the door.)  
  
(Rachel pounds on Ross's front door. Ross comes downstairs with shaving cream on his chest and thighs.)  
  
Ross: What the hell is it? (He looks threw the pep hole and opens he door.) Hey Rach what is up?  
  
Rachel: It is Joey. I heard him talking to Jenny and he said he thinks I do not want to ever have kids with him. And I figured you would shave in the morning.  
  
Ross: I usually do. (He grabs a towel and cleans the shaving cream off.) Look you want to sit down?  
  
(They sit down.)  
  
Ross: Well did you want to have any kids with him?  
  
Rachel: I'm not sure. We never talk about it and I never thought about it.  
  
Ross: (Itching his chest.) Maybe you should talk to him about it.  
  
Rachel: Yeah, but I think he wants one now and I really don't. I would like to wait a couple more years.  
  
Ross: Ok go tell him so I can go shave.  
  
(Rachel gets up and leaves.)  
  
Ross: Man they are right. It goes come back thinker each time.  
  
(Rachel runs back in her.)  
  
Rachel: Joey we need to talk.  
  
Joey: (From the bedroom.) No we do not.  
  
(Rachel walks upstairs and stands in the bedroom doorway.)  
  
Rachel: Yes we did.  
  
(They sit down on the bed. She grabs his hand.)  
  
Rachel: Hey I sorry if I give you the idea I do not want to have kids with you. It just I do not want a kid right now. I mean I doing so well at my job and I do not want to screw it up.  
  
Joey: Ok. I sorry I even brought this up. It just at the park today I saw you walking with Ross and Jenny like a family and I got jealous.  
  
Rachel: Hey that ok. But you know we are a family right?  
  
Joey: Yeah, yeah.  
  
(They kiss.)  
  
Rachel: Hey why don't we practice making babies?  
  
Joey: Ok. (Starts itching.) But maybe I should shave first.  
  
(Ross, Rachel, and Jenny are walking in the park. Joey is sitting on the bench.)  
  
Rachel: Hey Jo we going to go get some ice cream. You want to come?  
  
Joey: Sure.  
  
Ross: (Talking to himself.) Look at him run over here. Trying to cut in at our family time.  
  
Rachel: So what type of ice cream you want Jenny.  
  
Jenny: Rocky Road.  
  
Ross: You love Rocky Road don't you Jenny.  
  
(The old lady from the other day walks by.)  
  
Old Lady: Hey that why are you walk with him. (Point to Joey.) He is a stalker. I saw he watching you guys the other day.  
  
Rachel: No he is not a stalker. He is my husband.  
  
Joey: Yeah we went over this the other day you old hag.  
  
Old Lady: Then why do you have a kid with him? Are you some type of slut?  
  
Ross: No she not a. While maybe in high school a little she was but we went out for a year.  
  
Old Lady: So you dump her after you got her pregnant?  
  
Ross: First off we broke up several years ago. Second we was on a. (Joey grabs his arm.)  
  
Joey: Lets go get that ice cream dude.  
  
Rachel: Yeah before we leave you here.  
  
Ross: Ok. (They start to walk away. He points at Ross and says it was her fault.)  
  
  
  
The End ~ 115 TOW Rachel Gets A Chance To Cheat ~ 


	15. 115 TOW Rachel Has A Chance To Cheat

~ 115 TOW Rachel Has A Chance To Cheat ~  
  
(Rachel is talking to a lady at work.)  
  
Rachel: Hey do you want to finish this over lunch Denise.  
  
Denise: Sure. Oh I suppose to meet my Brother for today for lunch. He is in town from New York.  
  
Rachel: Ok. Is there a spot you were supposed to meet him or was he come here first.  
  
Denise: He is coming here. In fact that is he at the doorway.  
  
Rachel: (Looks up in shock.) Danny Smart. Your brother is Danny Smart.  
  
Denise: Do you guys know he other?  
  
Rachel: A little.  
  
(Danny walks up.)  
  
Danny: Hi Denise. (They hug. He stares at Rachel.) Rachel Green is that you?  
  
Rachel: Yes. (They shake hands.) I'm surprise you realize it is I, I mean with the nose job and all.  
  
Danny: Well I like you new one.  
  
Rachel: (Laughing.) Oh stop. (Rachel slowly takes off her wedding ring and put it in her purse.) Who knows? Maybe we can have dinner as while.  
  
Danny: It will have to be just us. Denise is busy tonight.  
  
Rachel: Fine by me. (She flirty puts her hand on his shoulder.)  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Carol, Ben, and Ross are at the doorway as Joey carries Jenny downstairs.)  
  
Carol: Oh did you dress her up like that?  
  
Joey: No Rachel did seven hour ago. She has been crying the whole time.  
  
Ross: Well that is ok. (Picks her up.) Maybe she will sleep during the play then.  
  
Joey: So Ben, are you nervous about your first lead in the school play?  
  
Ben: A little bit. It is Peter Pan after all.  
  
Carol: Did you ever play Peter Pan Jo?  
  
Joey: God no. Everyone knows the kid that plays peter pan turns out to be gay. (Everyone stares at him.)  
  
Ross: Well we should be going.  
  
(They are leave as Rachel walks in.)  
  
Rachel: Break a leg tonight Ben.  
  
Ben: Ok.  
  
(Rachel walks in and shuts the door.)  
  
Joey: Hey I made dinner. It is about ready.  
  
Rachel: Sorry Jo. I'm having a business dinner tonight. I just came home to change.  
  
Joey: But I order three pizzas.  
  
Rachel: Sorry. And do not wait up. It is a big deal that might take all night to workout.  
  
(Rachel walks upstairs as Joey walks back in the kitchen.)  
  
Rachel: (Picks up the phone.) Monica you will not believe who I'm having dinner with tonight. Danny Silver.  
  
(Joey puts the dishes in the sink and pick up the phone.)  
  
Joey: I better cancel one of the pizzas. (He picks up the phone and last.) And tonight I'm going to have him where I want him. Naked in bed. What the hell is Rachel talking about?  
  
(Ross and Ben are in the backstage area of a stage.)  
  
Ross: Ben you mother and I will be sitting in the front row.  
  
Ben: (Reading a script.) Oh no.  
  
Ross: What the matter? Forgetting your lines?  
  
Ben: No. It is mom and you sitting in the front row with Jenny. She betters not cry or anything.  
  
Ross: She is not going to cry. And if she does I will take her out to the hallway.  
  
(Ross heads down to his seat. Jenny is crying.)  
  
Ross: What is wrong with her?  
  
Carol: I do not know. Take her out into the hall until she stops. People have been staring at me.  
  
Ross: Ok. I just hope I did not miss too much. (He picks Jenny up and carries her out.)  
  
(Joey is on the phone. Rachel walks downstairs all dress up.)  
  
Rachel: Do not wait up honey.  
  
Joey: Ok. Have fun. (Rachel leaves.) So Chandler has you found anything out about this Danny Silver guy? Rachel had a huge crush on him her freshman year of college. Oh crap. No I not going to tell you want I'm going to do. Because that way it would hurt my instantly plead in my murder trail. Of course I'm going to kill him. But I need to catch up to Rachel. (Joey looks at the window.) Rachel seems to be confuse by the stick shift and is stalled so I can follow her. Goodbye.  
  
(Joey hangs up the phone and grabs his coat off the rack.)  
  
(Ross is out in the hallway with a crying Jenny.)  
  
Ross: What is wrong Jenny. We are missing a lot of the play.  
  
(There is a lot of clapping from inside the gym.)  
  
Ross: See the first act is already over.  
  
(A few people come out including Carol.)  
  
Carol: What is wrong with her. You miss all of the first act.  
  
Ross: I did not know? I change her and anything.  
  
Carol: Well I hope she stops. Ben looking over a couple of times and look upset when he did not see you there.  
  
Ross: Hey can you stay out her with her then. I'm sure she will stop in a couple of minutes.  
  
Carol: I guess.  
  
Ross: Thanks. I own you one. (Ross goes to walk inside but stops.) Well ready we all even for leaving me for Susan.  
  
(Ross walks inside.)  
  
Carol: Can you calm down for me? (Carol picks her up and she stops.) That is good.  
  
(Carol walks inside with her.)  
  
(Rachel and Danny are having dinner at a restaurant. Joey is watching them from another table.)  
  
Joey: (To a waiter.) So did she have her wedding ring on?  
  
Waiter: Nope.  
  
Joey: Thanks you for the spying. (Tips him.)  
  
(Rachel and Danny get up.)  
  
Danny: So is it back to my room for dessert?  
  
Rachel: Well if it includes these handcuffs. (Pulls them out of her purse.)  
  
Danny: Oh my yes.  
  
(They leave. Joey follows slowly.)  
  
(Ross and Carol are clapping at the end of the second act. Jenny is a sleep.)  
  
Ross: How did you get her to calm down like that?  
  
Carol: I do not know. I guess I have that special touch with girls. (They both laugh.)  
  
Ross: Yeah you do. Hey by the way are you seeing anyone right now?  
  
Carol: In fact I'm. What is happening with you?  
  
Ross: Nothing but there is this teacher at work name Trish.  
  
Carol: The one with the long blond hair.  
  
Ross: Yeah. How did you know her?  
  
Carol: Whom did you think I'm dating?  
  
Ross: Damn you.  
  
(Rachel and Danny walk inside the room. Joey holding a box puts his ear against the door.)  
  
Danny: So would you like something to drink out on the balcony?  
  
Rachel: Sure.  
  
(They walk out on it. Joey uses his credit card to break into the room. He puts the box underneath the sheets.)  
  
Joey: I hope this works. (He hears the coming back in and runs into the bathroom.)  
  
Rachel: (Laughing.) Hey why don't you get out of those clothes while I get those cuffs from my purse?  
  
Danny: Ok.  
  
(Rachel walks over to his purse and pulls out the cuffs. Danny gets undress quickly and lays on the bed.)  
  
Rachel: Good. Now let me see your arms. (She handcuffs his hands to the bedpost.) I will be right back. I'm just going to slip into a little something.  
  
(Rachel walks into the bathroom with Joey standing there.)  
  
Rachel: What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Joey: Hey I'm not the one meeting some guy in a hotel room. You were going to have sex with him.  
  
Rachel: Joey no I'm not. I'm getting my long waited revenge on him by getting him naked in bed then stealing his clothes.  
  
Joey: Why?  
  
Rachel: Because in college I had a crush on him and we had a dated but he stood me up.  
  
Joey: Oh. (Laughs.)  
  
Rachel: I know it pretty mean.  
  
Joey: No not that. I'm thinking about the box of red ants I left under the sheets.  
  
(Danny starts to scream.)  
  
Rachel: Lets get the hell out of here.  
  
(They run out of the room.)  
  
(Carol, Jenny, Ross, and Ben are backstage after the play.)  
  
Ross: You was great tonight Ben?  
  
Ben: Really.  
  
Carol: Yeah.  
  
(A boy walks up to them.)  
  
Ben: Hey Kevin, are we still on for our date Friday? (Ross gets a scare look on his face.) Man I knew after want Joey said that would freak you out.  
  
  
  
The End ~116 TOW Rachel Has A Wreck~ Coming Soon 


	16. 116 TOW Rachel Has A Car Wreck

~116 TOW Rachel Has A Car Wreck~  
  
(Rachel is driving Ross and herself in Joey covert.)  
  
Ross: Why are you so happy about driving Joey car?  
  
Rachel: Because this is like the second time he has allowed me to drive it. He thinks I'm a bad driver. That is just crazy.  
  
Ross: Yeah. You are by far the worst driver I know.  
  
Rachel: (Turns her head off the road and stares at Ross.) What?  
  
Ross: (Points forward.) Lookout.  
  
(Rachel goes to stop but it to late. They hit a telephone pole.)  
  
Rachel: Are you ok?  
  
Ross: Well I'm not going to sue the mother if my child, so yeah I'm fine.  
  
(They get out and look at the damage. The front in is are dent in.)  
  
Rachel: No, no, no. (Slaps Ross on the shoulder.) This is your entire fault.  
  
Ross: Hey you were driving it.  
  
Rachel: I know. Joey is going to kill me. He can never find out about this. We need to get this fix today.  
  
Ross: Ok, ok. But would you like to call Jenny and say goodbye to her first?  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ross is on the cell phone. Rachel is sitting in the car with the door open.)  
  
Ross: Ok you be here within the hour. Bye. (Hangs up.)  
  
Rachel: An hour. Good that great us enough time to come up with a story how this happened. I got to say I had to swerve to miss a cat.  
  
Ross: (Being Joey.) You wreck my cat for a stupid cat?  
  
Rachel: What about a dog.  
  
Ross: Cool you miss the dog, but how did you hit the pole?  
  
Rachel: Because I had to swerve to miss the dog. (Throws her hands up in the air.)  
  
Ross: They better not take for other. I have a date tonight. She is the sure thing from the gym I go to. She is like you on lookout point during high school.  
  
Rachel: While at least I been to lookout point. Unlike a loser name Ross Geller.  
  
Ross: Hey I went up there once. (Rachel stares at him.) I was with myself getting drunk. It was strange because I woke up half naked on a bank let that I never even saw before. It had a blue star on it.  
  
Rachel: Hey that is funny because I remember this time where I got drunk with some dude and woke up naked next to him.Or my god. What the hell did you do with my bank let?  
  
Ross: I left it up there. (Starts to laugh.) You know what this means don't you.  
  
Rachel: Yeah we had sex in high school.  
  
Ross: Yes, but more importantly I was not a loser after all. I did slept with the school slut.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. But we were so drunk that we both forgot about it.  
  
Ross: Who cares? It still happened. Hey wait a minute. You told me about that bank let story before when we were dating. You remember that we had sex. In fact I bet you knew all along.  
  
Rachel: Well hell those damn things of yours. (Joey pulls up in Rachel's car.)  
  
Joey: (Getting out.) What the hell happen? Are you guys ok?  
  
Rachel: Yeah we not hurt.  
  
Ross: (Laughs.) But I just found out Rachel and I had sex in high school.  
  
Joey: What? You mean you never told him about it before?  
  
Rachel: Who cares?  
  
Joey: (Looks at front of the car.) Oh my god, look at what you did.  
  
Rachel: I'm so sorry about this. I had to swerve to miss a dog.  
  
Joey: Oh that is ok. I mean last week I almost drive into a ditch when I swerve to miss a cat. Hey Ross have you ever.  
  
(Ross is talking on his cell phone.)  
  
Ross: Yes Chandler I'm no loser. Yep like the rest of the school.  
  
Rachel: Hey I did not slept with the whole school. There was Will, the two, (Thinks about it.) one exchange student, and are the people who thought was half and half because of your rumor.  
  
Joey: Will you two shut up. Look at my car.  
  
(Joey is driving Ross and Rachel in Rachel's car.)  
  
Joey: So where are you going on your date?  
  
Ross: Out for a slice a pizza and then back to my place.  
  
Joey: Sounds like one of my dates.  
  
Ross: Hey it worked for you.  
  
Joey: Yes, (laughs.) but come one you are no Joey Tribbiani.  
  
Rachel: That is so true.  
  
Ross: Hey I had a few one-night stands in my day  
  
Rachel: Who?  
  
Ross: There was you, the copy shop girl, you again, and Joey you remember that girl who dump we during sex.  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Ross: Maybe we should change the subject to Rachel wrecking your car.  
  
Rachel: Hey it was a mistake.  
  
(Joey pulls the call over. Carol, Ben, and Jenny are standing there.)  
  
Ross: How did anything go?  
  
Carol: Fine. Expect for Ben trying to explain want a lesbian was to her.  
  
Ross: Ben I warn you about that.  
  
Ben: Sorry.  
  
Jenny: Lesbian like girls just like you daddy.  
  
Ross: (Belts her into the car seat.) That they do.  
  
(They drop Ross of at his house.)  
  
Rachel: Have fun on your date tonight.  
  
Ross: Oh I intend to.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are making out on the couch.)  
  
Rachel: I cannot believe we fought early.  
  
Joey: You wreck my car.  
  
(Kissing Joey neck.)  
  
Rachel: So what do I have to do to make it up to you?  
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
Joey: Move so I can get the phone.  
  
Rachel: (Gets up.) That was easy.  
  
Joey: (On the phone.) Hello. Today. But I'm busy. Ok bye.  
  
Rachel: What is it?  
  
Joey: The whole cast is going to be on Larry King tonight live. I suppose to be at the L.A studio in at five o'clock.  
  
Rachel: Oh but I wanted you to forgive me. Maybe I can call in and we can have phone sex on Larry King.  
  
Joey: I do not think they will allow that. Well I have to get ready. But I think I'm going to spend my time changing.  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
(Joey walks upstairs. Rachel stands up but sits back down and starts flipping thru a book.)  
  
Joey: Hey Rach, are you going to help me change?  
  
Rachel: Why? You already forgive me.  
  
(Ross is making out with his date.)  
  
Ross: So do you want to go upstairs Lisa?  
  
Lisa: Sex on the first date? Do not tell me you only ask me out because you believe that rumor at the gym.  
  
Ross: No, no I did not buy a new box of condoms for this date.  
  
Lisa: Oh god. You do not know how my time guys from the gym have ask me out because of that rumor.  
  
Ross: Those bastards.  
  
Lisa: Yeah I know. I use wait to I play this joke on them until I sleep with them.  
  
Ross: Good for. What? So we are going to have sex?  
  
Lisa: Yes. (They start making out.)  
  
(Rachel is watching Joey and the rest of the cast on Larry King.)  
  
Larry: So Joey, have you adjusted to moving out here from New York?  
  
Joey: Pretty well. I mean at first I was homesick. But once I got on the set that is suppose to be in New York City help.  
  
Larry: Thinking of New York City we have a call from there. Chandler your on the air.  
  
Chandler: Hey Joey is Ross on his date with the gym slut.  
  
Joey: Yes he is.  
  
(Lisa is getting dress. Ross is in bed watching the TV.)  
  
Ross: Where you going?  
  
Lisa: I may be a slut but I have my limits.  
  
Ross: But I box the big box of condoms. (Holds it up.)  
  
  
  
The End ~917 TOW The Ross Other Friends~ Coming Soon. 


	17. 117 TOW Ross's Other Friends

~117 TOW Ross's Other Friends~  
  
(Ross is shooting pool. Will walks up.)  
  
Ross: Hey where is the rest of the gang?  
  
Will: Becky is running late and Dave had to go to Bakersfield to visit their parents.  
  
Ross: (Takes a shot.) Man it getting tuff ditching the married couple.  
  
Will: Hey it has been over a year now. Are you ever going to tell them about your non-married friends?  
  
Ross: No. I got a great balance right now.  
  
Will: So when you get married again want you going to do?  
  
Ross: How many times do I have to warn you? You were not there so you cannot kid about that stuff. Besides you do not want to hang out with Rachel. You still hold I hate Rachel meetings.  
  
Will: Yeah but I need new reasons to hate her.  
  
(A tall blond comes walking up.)  
  
Ross: Hey Becky. How was your date last night?  
  
Becky: It was going good until went started to dance. You know my big feet.  
  
(They both nod.)  
  
Will: This is why I do not date.  
  
Becky: That and you so good looking that you get laid without dating.  
  
Will: Well that is the main reason.  
  
Becky: (Walks back from the bar but trips.) And this is why I need to date to get laid.  
  
~117 TOW Ross's Other Friends~  
  
(Joey and Rachel are walking out of the movies holding hangs.)  
  
Joey: I telling you that movie stuck. It was three hours and no nude girls in it.  
  
Rachel: Joey that was the Apollo 13 on IMAX. You saw it on a regular screen.  
  
Joey: Yes but IMAX is supposed to improve the movie.  
  
Rachel: Hey is that Ross walking out of the movies?  
  
Joey: Yeah. I wonder why he did not tell use he was going to be here. I knew we were.  
  
Rachel: Maybe something is wrong with Jenny.  
  
(Rachel runs up to Ross. He tries to avoid her.)  
  
Rachel: Ross what are you doing here? Is anything wrong?  
  
Ross: (Pretending he just saw here.) Oh hey Rach. Nothing is wrong. I just decide to go to the movies alone. Drop Jenny off at Carol's of course.  
  
Rachel: So you left you daughter at you ex-wife so you can watch a movie by yourself.  
  
Ross: Yes. (Just then Joey, Will, and Becky walk up.)  
  
Joey: Hey look at who I run into outside. It is Will and, what is your name again?  
  
Becky: It is Becky.  
  
Ross: Oh hey Will. (Shakes his hand.) I guess it has been since Thanksgiving of 2001.  
  
Will: Yeah it has been. (He winks at him.)  
  
Rachel: Hey why don't you and your friend join us? We just are going to eat some pizza across the street.  
  
Will: Sure. (Ross looks upset.)  
  
Rachel: You can join us too Ross.  
  
(All of them are sitting around eating pizza.)  
  
Becky: So Will and you had an I Hate Rachel Club?  
  
Ross: Yes, but for me it was I'm in love with Rachel club.  
  
Will: No. It was and still is in my case an I hate Rachel club.  
  
Becky: Why do you dislike Rachel so much?  
  
Will: Because she was the top snob in high school.  
  
Rachel: Oh I was not. You were just fat.  
  
Becky: But you hung out with Monica in high school.  
  
(Ross gets nervous.)  
  
Rachel: How would you know about Monica?  
  
Becky: What? I have been hanging out with Ross for almost a year. You would not think he would of told me about his sister. And I just blew this did it I.  
  
Joey: Blew what? What the hell is going on?  
  
Ross: Ok I was not at the movies alone. I was with them. And ever since we move back here I have been hanging out with them.  
  
Rachel: What? And you did not tell us.  
  
Will: Because he need his own group of single friends away from the married couple.  
  
Ross: Thank you William.  
  
Will: Do not call me William.  
  
Joey: (Stands up.) Lets get out of here.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. We do not take up Ross's time away from his single; also know as loser, friends.  
  
(Joey and Rachel storm out.)  
  
Will: You paying for their share right Ross?  
  
(Ross knocks on the door of Joey and Rachel's house. He has Jenny with him.)  
  
Joey: Hi. (Jenny walks in and he slams the door.)  
  
Ross: Can we talk about this?  
  
Rachel: (Opens up.) Ok. Come in and tell us why you need to get away from you married friends.  
  
Ross: Look I did not mean it like that. (Walks in and shuts the door.) It just I like to have some non-married friends as while. I mean you telling me you do not have any married couples you hangout with?  
  
Joey: We tired, but they where boring.  
  
Rachel: And that is saying something because we hangout with you are the time.  
  
Ross: Yeah but I like my friends.  
  
Rachel: Maybe we can all hang out together?  
  
Ross: I do not see that happening because of Will. He hates you. I mean he really hates you.  
  
Joey: Ok so I kick his ass and he stops hating her.  
  
Ross: I do not think that will work.  
  
Rachel: No. I want him to be my friend. I do not want him to hate me anymore. That is my new mission in life.  
  
Ross: Well I guess the Gap is going to close down since shopping there was you old one.  
  
Rachel: No, no. I can do both.  
  
(Becky and Will are shooting pool as Ross, Rachel, and Joey walk in.)  
  
Ross: Hey you guys. Dave is still in Bakersfield.  
  
Will: Hi Joey. Hey Rachel.  
  
Rachel: Well hey to you too Will.  
  
Joey: So you guys shoot pool all the time.  
  
Will: No. There is a dartboard in here too.  
  
Rachel: I use to play my dad's dartboard all the time.  
  
Will: Would you like a to play. I'm the best out of the group.  
  
Rachel: Sure.  
  
Ross: (Whisper to Rachel.) Do not beat him. This is going very well.  
  
(Rachel and Will walk to the back room.)  
  
Joey: So you guys want to shoot some poll.  
  
Ross: I just got done playing Becky so you can play here.  
  
Becky: Played, get killed by.  
  
Ross: Hey. I have a sore thumb.  
  
Becky: A year long one.  
  
(Rachel just hit triple 20.)  
  
Rachel: So it is 200 to 76. That ok. I mean you get to beat up on Ross all the time.  
  
Will: I do not know. Once his thumb heals.  
  
Rachel: I sorry I have to ask. Why did you hate me so much in high school?  
  
Will: The truth. I had a crush on you.  
  
Rachel: Oh. So it was really the I Love Rachel Club.  
  
Will: Yes. But I look like this now and do not have a crush on you anymore.  
  
Rachel: Come on. Look at me.  
  
Will: Well you did get a nose job. But I think it was mostly the fact you put out.  
  
(Joey is standing by the pool time stun.)  
  
Joey: I did not even get a shot.  
  
(Joey, Rachel, and Ross are driving home.)  
  
Ross: Come on it was not that bad.  
  
Rachel: I found out that anyone that had a crush on my expect for you in high school was because I was a slut.  
  
Joey: I got beat by a girl. A girl.  
  
Ross: So you want me to stop hanging out with them?  
  
Joey: No you can all you want. Just keep them away from us.  
  
Ross: That all I every wanted.  
  
  
  
The End ~118 TOW Ross Finally Flirts~ 


	18. 118 TOW Ross Finally Flirts

~118 TOW Ross Finally Flirts~  
  
(Joey is pushing both Jenny and Rachel in the swings at the park. Ross is talking to a woman behind them.)  
  
Rachel: I loved the swings when I was young. My dad used to push me all the time on them.  
  
Joey: Jenny is getting a kick out of them.  
  
Jenny: Higher, higher.  
  
(Ross walks up to them.)  
  
Ross: Oh my god. That book on flirting really works. I just flirted for a minute and got her number. That never happens to me.  
  
Rachel: Maybe she wanted to get away from you horrible flirting.  
  
Ross: No, no. This is like the third number I got this week. (A lady and a little boy walks up to the swings. She stars pushing him.) I will show you.  
  
Joey: (Slows down the swings.) Come on Jenny let get some ice cream.  
  
Rachel: Good. I do not want her to see her dad get shot down, again.  
  
(Joey and Jenny walk away.)  
  
Ross: So I see you do not have a wedding ring so you must be a single parent too.  
  
Lady: No. This little guy is my cousin's kid. I'm just baby sitting.  
  
Ross: Good. Because I was about to say he is not cute enough to be your kid.  
  
Lady: (Giggles.) Oh thanks.  
  
Rachel: Oh my god.  
  
(The lady gives Ross her number. He walks back over to Rachel.)  
  
Ross: See I told you it my flirting.  
  
Rachel: Yes. But now you have to juggle them all.  
  
Ross: (Scared.) But I do not know how to juggle. Hey I can always ask Joey. (Yells at Joey.) Hey Joey how do you juggle four women?  
  
(The Lady stares at him.)  
  
Ross: I mean three women.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Rachel is walking across the street carrying a bunch of papers. She drops them and bends over to pick them up. A bus heads towards her but some guy pushes her out the way in the nick of time.)  
  
Rachel: (Gets up.) Oh thank you so much.  
  
Guy: Are you ok.  
  
Rachel: (Dusting herself off.) Yeah I'm fine. It just I was almost killed.  
  
Guy: Hey you want to go get a cup of coffee or something. Just to relax a little.  
  
Rachel: Sorry but I'm married, so you hero sex.  
  
Guy: Damn.  
  
(Joey is reading Ross's flirting book. Ross walks in from the kitchen with a beer.)  
  
Joey: Wow, this book is really good.  
  
Ross: I know. But now I got another problem. How do you juggle more than one woman at a time?  
  
Joey: Well the first thing to remember is always get the one you just sleep with out of the house before another comes over.  
  
Ross: Really. (Ross takes notes as Rachel runs in.)  
  
Rachel: Oh my god I almost got hit by a bus.  
  
Ross: That nice. Ok so any more trips Joey.  
  
Joey: (Hugs Rachel.) You ok right?  
  
Rachel: Yes I'm fine. But I really want to do something right now. I do not want to wait.  
  
Ross: Can you wait?  
  
Rachel: No. Honey I want to have another baby.  
  
Joey: With me right.  
  
Rachel: Duh.  
  
Ross: Ok, but can he get me at least one more tip?  
  
Joey: Tell your loser friend to leave.  
  
Ross: (Writing it down.) Tell your loser friend to leave. Go it.  
  
(Ross gets up and leaves.)  
  
Rachel: Do you want to go upstairs right now?  
  
Joey: No. I want to have kitchen table sex.  
  
Rachel: But my back always hurts when we do it on the table.  
  
(Joey picks her up and takes her into the kitchen and start to kiss.)  
  
Joey: Wait I need to get my box of? (Rachel gets him a weird look.) Oh yeah.  
  
(Ross and a girl is sit on his bed getting dress.)  
  
Ross: I so sorry you can't spend the night. (Turns his head and mouths thank you.)  
  
Girl: Yeah. But I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  
  
(They get up and walk downstairs to the door.)  
  
Ross: Well good-bye. (Opens the door. Another girl is standing there.)  
  
Girl: Oh is this Rachel?  
  
Ross: I wish.  
  
(Ross is telling Joey about his dates going bad.)  
  
Ross: I cannot believe I blew this.  
  
Joey: Hey it is your first time. But you still have the third girl you seeing tonight. And maybe she will be the one you never know.  
  
Ross: The one? Why the hell you saying that for?  
  
Joey: You never know. And maybe when you married and ask her about kids she would say no. But then a few weeks later she will change her mind and want kids and have you a very confuse person. (Ross stares at him.) Maybe I'm talking about myself.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are sitting on their bed holding hands.)  
  
Rachel: I'm so excited. Do you think I'm pregnant?  
  
Joey: If you want to be you will be.  
  
(The buzzer goes off. Rachel walks into the bathroom and walks back out crying.)  
  
Rachel: It not positive. I'm not pregnant.  
  
Joey: Thank god. (Rachel stares at him.) I mean I'm so sorry.  
  
(Ross is walking down the street with his date laughing.)  
  
Ross: Oh Katie this has been the best date I had in along time.  
  
Katie: I know. (They stop in front of apartment build.) Well this is my place. I would invite you up but my roommate brother is crashing at our place.  
  
(They start kissing.)  
  
Ross: Hey I got a wild idea. Let's go to Bear Mountain?  
  
Katie: Tonight? Sure, but I better go pack a overnight bag real quick.  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
(Rachel is doing work in the study. Joey is standing there.)  
  
Joey: Well you let me explain want I meant?  
  
Rachel: No I know want you meant. You do not want to have any children with me.  
  
Joey: No I did not mean that. (Joey turns her around and holds her hand.) I was just worried that the reason you want a kid right now is because you almost got hit by the bus. That is not a reason to have a kid.  
  
Rachel: Oh. It is not like that at all. It just I realize I want a kid with you and do not want to wait.  
  
Joey: Oh. Sorry. (They start to kiss.) So want about so study sex.  
  
Rachel: No. My back still hurts from the kitchen table. Lets go up to bed.  
  
(Ross is holding Katie in bed inside a hotel room.)  
  
Katie: Have you every done anything like this before?  
  
Ross: You mean end up doing away on the first date? Once.  
  
Katie: What happened with you two.  
  
Ross: We end up getting married.  
  
Katie: Carol?  
  
Ross: No Emily. (Gets a scared look on his face.) Man now I freaking out. (Gets up and puts his robe on.)  
  
Katie: What is wrong.  
  
Ross: What if just ends up the someway?  
  
Katie: My dad is a cop. He will shot you if you said someone else name if we got married.  
  
Ross: Not that. I mean what if it doomed to fail like all my relationships.  
  
Katie: Ross would you relax. Look I'm afraid too because I never felt this way before. And it only has been one dated. But I'm more afraid not to see where this goes.  
  
Ross: Really? (He falls on top of her and they start kissing.)  
  
(Joey walks out of the bathroom. Rachel is sitting on the bed.)  
  
Joey: Nope. (Sits next to her and rubs her arms.) But we going to keep trying until we do.  
  
Rachel: Ok. Hey do you now where Ross is? He was supposed to pick up Jenny this afternoon.  
  
(The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Hello? What do you mean you got married? I know it you but still.  
  
Rachel: Ross got married. Give me the phone. (Grabs the phone.) How the hell can you do this without us? Or your daughter not being there? Who is she? Katie Geller. What was her old last name? You do not know? Fine out.  
  
Joey: Well this is weird. Even for him.  
  
Rachel: Oh he just an idiot. Wright. Her name is Katie Wright. Well we get to meet her? Next week? Oh you guys are going on a honeymoon. Well get back in town in time for the divorce party. Goodbye.  
  
Joey: So where do you want to do it?  
  
Rachel: Not now Joey. I'm upset.  
  
Joey: Not that. I meant where you want to have the party?  
  
  
  
The End ~119 TOW The Wedding Party Coming Soon~ 


	19. 119 TOW The Wedding Party Part 1

~119 TOW The Wedding Party Part 1~  
  
(Joey is at the airports carrying Phoebe and Monica's bags. Chandler is carrying his and Monica is carrying a sleeping baby Joey.)  
  
Phoebe: I do not believe it?  
  
Joey: I know. Neither of you two can carry your old bags.  
  
Monica: Hey I have to hold my son.  
  
Phoebe: (Looks around.) And I have to go by some gum at the duty free shop. (She heads off.)  
  
Chandler: So how is this wife compare to his the others?  
  
Joey: Well she not better than Rachel of course. But she is better than Emily.  
  
Monica: What about Carol.  
  
Joey: Tuff to judge. (Puts the bags down and waves for a taxi.) After all I never saw them together at all.  
  
Chandler: Well if he is happy.  
  
Phoebe: (Walking up.) I never found the duty free shop.  
  
Joey: (Puts the bags in the trunk of a taxi.) I wonder why Jack and Judy did not come.  
  
Monica: They still think it is a joke.  
  
Phoebe: All I know is I want the next wedding to be for me.  
  
Joey: Sure thing Pheebes. (She gets in the taxi. Joey mouths no way to Monica and Chandler.)  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Everyone is at Joey and Rachel's. It is setup for a party.)  
  
Monica: I finally got Joey to sleep.  
  
Rachel: Is he getting you trouble.  
  
Monica: No, not really.  
  
Chandler: He just like big Joey. All he does is eat and sleep. (Pats Joey on top of the head.)  
  
Joey: And beat up all those babies name Chandler.  
  
Phoebe: So where do you think I should have my wedding? I was thinking Disney World?  
  
Rachel: That is nice Pheebes.  
  
Phoebe: Ok. It is a done deal. I'm getting married at Disney World.  
  
Monica: But too who?  
  
(Everyone stares at her.)  
  
Phoebe: What does that mean?  
  
Monica: Nothing. I'm just saying you not seeing anyone right now, and I'm not sure when was the last time you had a long-term relationship.  
  
Phoebe: (Crying.) Why do you have to bring that up for?  
  
(Phoebe runs out of the living room. Monica follows.)  
  
Joey: Hey Rach do you want to join them?  
  
Rachel: Why?  
  
Joey: So you can brag about how great you have it compare to them.  
  
Rachel: Oh yeah.  
  
(Rachel gets up and leaves.)  
  
Joey: So what do you want to tell me in private?  
  
Chandler: I was going through some of my medical files the other day and found the results of those test we took when Rachel was giving birth.  
  
Joey: (Trying to remember.) No more needles.  
  
Chandler: Joey I was talking about the sperm test week took.  
  
Joey: Oh yeah. That was good porn they gave us. (Smiles.)  
  
Chandler: Take a look at your results.  
  
Joey: (Reads it.) So I have over a 900,000 sperm count. That is a lot of sperm.  
  
Chandler: Joey you suppose to have like a billion sperm count.  
  
Joey: (Laughing.) Hey nice try. You are only doing this because we trying to have a baby.  
  
Chandler: You guys are trying to have a kid?  
  
Joey: You are not joking?  
  
(Ross walks through the door with Katie.)  
  
Ross: Hey you guys are here.  
  
Chandler: Yeah. Phoebe and Monica are killing each other in the bedroom. And this must be the Mrs. Geller of the week.  
  
Ross: Ok who had ten seconds?  
  
Joey: I did.  
  
(Ross hands him a ten-dollar bill.)  
  
Katie: So when are Ross's parents getting here?  
  
Chandler: They not coming?  
  
Ross: What? (Upset.)  
  
Chandler: Hey they think this is a joke. It is not a joke right?  
  
Katie: I was hoping that we would of one set of parents here.  
  
Chandler: Your parents are not coming to the party?  
  
Katie: No. They think I'm an idiot for getting married after one date.  
  
Chandler: You do not say. (Rolls his eyes.)  
  
(Phoebe is sitting on the bed in Joey and Rachel's room.)  
  
Phoebe: Oh come on I did not hit you that hard.  
  
Rachel: (From the bathroom.) She is bleeding.  
  
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry if she is sorry.  
  
Monica: (From the bathroom.) I'm sorry that I. Holding this stick with pee on it.  
  
(Both her and Rachel walk out of the bathroom.)  
  
Monica: So are you pregnant?  
  
Rachel: (Upset.) No.  
  
Phoebe: Have you guys been trying?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. For about three weeks now.  
  
Monica: Well that has not been for that long.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah cheer up.  
  
Rachel: You right. Hey can you guys leave so I can get dress for this party?  
  
Monica: Sure.  
  
Rachel: By the way you do not have to really dress up for the fourth right?  
  
Phoebe: I'm not sure. Since you were not dress up for your two in Vegas I'm saying no.  
  
(Joey is sitting down in the kitchen as Ross and Chandler stand over him.)  
  
Joey: What I'm going to do. I mean how do I break this to her?  
  
Ross: You don't.  
  
Chandler: Yeah just keep it to yourself.  
  
Joey: Hey I do not need tips on how to become a divorce loser like you two. I mean five divorces between your two.  
  
Chandler: Hey only one of those was mine.  
  
Ross: And I only have been divorce three times.  
  
Joey: Or, yeah you still married. And it pass the 72-hour mark. (Stares at Chandler.)  
  
Chandler: Damn you Ross. You just cost me 100 bucks. (Hands him a bill.)  
  
(Katie walking in.)  
  
Joey: I'm going to get dress for the party.  
  
Chandler: So what going to happen.  
  
Ross: We are going to redo our vows for you guys. Then I guess a night of getting drunk.  
  
Joey: Yeah. Hey do I have to dress up for this thing.  
  
Ross: No. You are the minister.  
  
Katie: Hey you guys know that the whole online minister thing is a scam right?  
  
Joey: What? So you saying all the people I wed are not really married.  
  
Chandler: Hey I'm not a divorce loser after all.  
  
Ross: No, just a regular loser you all.  
  
(Joey walks upstairs as Phoebe and Monica head down.)  
  
Monica: I'm telling you Phoebe you can do better than Guther.  
  
Phoebe: But I do not want to wait much longer. Oh I guess it could be worst. I could be a divorce single Mom.  
  
(Joey walks into the bedroom. Rachel is a on the bed crying.)  
  
Joey: Oh honey it was not positive again?  
  
Rachel: Yes and it is my fault. I must be a bad mom and I do not get another.  
  
Joey: Honey that not true. You are a great mom. And it is my fault.  
  
Rachel: No Jo, it neither of ours fault.  
  
Joey: Yes it is. I have a low sperm count.  
  
  
  
The End ~120 TOW The Wedding Party Part 2~ Coming Soon. 


	20. 120 TOW The Wedding Party Part 2

~120 TOW The Wedding Party Part 2~  
  
(Joey and Rachel are still sitting on the bed.)  
  
Rachel: What do you mean low sperm count?  
  
Joey: I mean I only have 900,000 sperm count.  
  
Rachel: And that is low?  
  
Joey: That what Chandler said.  
  
Rachel: How the hell did you find this out?  
  
Joey: Well when you was giving birth to Jenny Chandler and I wanted to kill time.  
  
Rachel: So you took a sperm test for the free porn.  
  
Joey: Yeah.  
  
Rachel: When I was going through the greatest pain in my life.  
  
Joey: You not happy about that?  
  
Rachel: Joey I so happy I cannot have a kid with you. (Starts to cry.) I cannot have a kid with you.  
  
Joey: Damn I will not be able to watch free porn when you having our kid.  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(A bunch of people is inside Joey and Rachel's house. Monica and Phoebe are talking by the doorway.)  
  
Phoebe: So what do you make if all of these people? (Starts staring at a cute guy.)  
  
Monica: Losers.  
  
Phoebe: Hey do not call my new boyfriend a loser.  
  
Monica: So you like want you see?  
  
Phoebe: I'm already singing it's a small world after all in my head. (Phoebe walks over to the guy. Chandler walks up to Monica.)  
  
Monica: So did you find out when this thing is starting?  
  
Chandler: A couple of minutes. Joey told Rachel about his low sperm count.  
  
Monica: Joey has a low sperm count?  
  
Chandler: Oh I did not tell you? Remember when Joey and I got our sperm tested so we can kill time with the porn.  
  
Monica: Duh? Remember Phoebe and I claim to be cross dressers so we can get the gay porn.  
  
Chandler: Anyway I find those. By the way want did you two put in those cups.  
  
Monica: Chandler get to the point.  
  
Chandler: I found the results of those test and they said he had a low sperm count.  
  
Monica: And with them trying for a baby. Oh I better run upstairs and talk to her.  
  
Chandler: No here they come.  
  
(Ross stands up with a glass of wine.)  
  
Ross: Katie and I will like to thank you all for being here today.  
  
Joey: Wait a minute. Should you guys redo the vows first?  
  
Ross: Your all right. Everyone go into the backyard.  
  
(Everyone walks into the backyard. Rachel comes running back in a few minutes later with Joey following.)  
  
Rachel: Why did they have to go off about having kids together?  
  
Joey: I do not know.  
  
(Ross walks in.)  
  
Ross: Rachel what is up? Do not tell me you upset I married someone else.  
  
Joey: That is not it. About you two going on about kids in the your vows.  
  
Ross: Hey it not my fault Joey has a low sperm count.  
  
Joey: Would you shut up and go back outside.  
  
(Phoebe is talking to the guy outside.)  
  
Phoebe: So Mike you Katie's cousin.  
  
Mike: Yeah I flew out here from New York City.  
  
Phoebe: You live in New York City too?  
  
Mike: Hey I knew I realize you. You are that girl or got arrested last year for throw a brick throw the window that store that sale fur.  
  
Phoebe: Yeah. But I never saw you before. I would have of remember a piece a meat like you. (Rubs his arm.)  
  
(Chandler walks up to them.)  
  
Chandler: So Pheebes how is Dave and the children?  
  
Phoebe: Are you such a loser you doing your ex-wife dirty work for here?  
  
Chandler: Yes I'm. (Extends his hand to Mike.) Loser Bing.  
  
Phoebe: Get out of here!  
  
(Joey walks downstairs. Ross and Katie are standing there.)  
  
Joey: I'm sorry about this but she too upset to hang out down here.  
  
Katie: That ok. I mean after are if I found out Ross had a low sperm count I will likely divorce him. (They both stare at him.) And I'm not happening. I will go hangout outside.  
  
(Katie walks away as Joey and Ross sit on the couch.)  
  
Ross: What are you going to do?  
  
Joey: I don't know. I guess go to see a doctor about it and see want could be done.  
  
Ross: You two can always adopt.  
  
Joey: I do not want to adopt. I want my kid to be my kid. I want it to have my looks and brains, while my looks anyway. Why don't you go back outside with Katie? I just want to be alone.  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
(Outside Chandler and Monica are watching Mike and Phoebe dance.)  
  
Chandler: Why do you care if she gets married before you do again?  
  
Monica: Because she is Phoebe. She not supposed to get married. When she 80 she suppose to be the old lady who lives alone. You now the one all the kids ring on the door and run away.  
  
Chandler: But that would mean they stop doing that to me.  
  
Monica: But if she not the old maid then I will be.  
  
Chandler: Come on. I tell you want she gets married before you then I will.  
  
Monica: You will marry me?  
  
Chandler: God no. I was going to say I will give you a hug but now I going to point and laugh.  
  
(Ross stops the music and everyone stops dancing.)  
  
Ross: I will like to thank everyone for coming here. But given the news that Joey and Rachel found out I think it best we wrap this up early.  
  
(Everyone starts leaving through the house as Joey and Rachel come downstairs.)  
  
Joey: We hope you guys had fun.  
  
Chandler: Hey do you want to keep test results. (Hands them to him.)  
  
Joey: I guess. (Reads it.) Hey my results are fine. (Flips through pages.) You are the one with the low sperm count.  
  
Chandler: What? (Grabs them.) Oh you right. It says Loser Bing on them.  
  
Rachel: We see you guys in the morning.  
  
Chandler: (Stun.) Yeah. (Walks out slowly.)  
  
Rachel: You want to go upstairs.  
  
Joey: Sure thing.  
  
(They run upstairs. A few second later Phoebe and Mike walk down getting dress.)  
  
Phoebe: What type of host are they when they will not allow you to use their bed for sex.  
  
(At the airport Ross is holding Jenny. Joey holding a bunch of bags, Monica with baby Joey, Katie, and Chandler are standing there as while.)  
  
Ross: I will back in a week Jenny. Ok. (Hands her to Rachel.)  
  
Joey: Why I'm stuck with everyone's bags again.  
  
Monica: Because Phoebe is in the duty free shop with Mike, I have my son, and Chandler is a wimp.  
  
Joey: Well that ok because I have lots a sperm.  
  
(A mother walking by covers her kid ears. Phoebe and Mike walk up.)  
  
Mike: Here let me take Phoebe and Mine bags.  
  
Joey: Thanks. Oh by the way did you get my gum this time?  
  
Phoebe: They are still out.  
  
Joey: You did not even look did you?  
  
Phoebe: No.  
  
(Ross and Katie grab they bags and hands onto the plane.)  
  
Joey: I hope you have sex in the airplane in a real small bathroom and you keep banging your head.  
  
Phoebe: That what I got the hardhat far. (Puts it on. It has a Union logo on it.)  
  
Chandler: (Grabs his and Monica bags from Joey.) We should be going too. (Starts talking to his mid area.) I just wish they were more of us.  
  
(Chandler, Mike, Monica, and Phoebe walk onto the plane.)  
  
Rachel: So you want to go back home and try to make a baby.  
  
Joey: Why go home. We can start right here.  
  
(They start kissing. Someone starts calling Joey's name.)  
  
Joey: What is it? (He turns away. Emily's bridesmaid is standing there with a boy.) Oh hi.  
  
Kelly: It is Kelly, remember?  
  
Joey: Thanks harder. All I remember is you was Emily's bridesmaid and we did it London style. So who is this little guy?  
  
Kelly: Your kid.  
  
(Rachel and Joey look stun.)  
  
Rachel: What?  
  
  
  
The End ~201 TOW Joey's Lost Kid~ coming soon. 


	21. 201 TOW Joey's Lost Kid

~201 TOW Joey's Lost Kid~  
  
(Rachel, Kelly, Joey, and the Boy are still standing there.)  
  
Rachel: What?  
  
Joey: No Emily's Bridesmaid that cannot be true. See I have a low sperm count.  
  
Rachel: Joey!  
  
Joey: Oh yeah. It is Chandler with the low sperm count. But I still do no get how he can be my kid. (Starts laughing.) Oh I get it. It is a Joke. Ross saw you and told him to do this did it he?  
  
Kelly: No. Maybe we should sit down and talk about this.  
  
Joey: Ok. (He sits down on the floor in the airport. The kid does the same.)  
  
Rachel: I think she meant in a chair.  
  
Joey: Sure. (Gets up.) Perhaps inside of the bar.  
  
Kelly: That fine. (Points to Rachel.) Hey. I'm sorry I forgot your name. I mean outside of the witch that ruined the wedding. Maybe you can take Jacob into the duty free shop.  
  
Rachel: Wow I'm upgrade to witch from.  
  
Kelly: No you not. I just did not call you that around him.  
  
Joey: But we can still call Emily the English Bitch who almost force Ross to move away right?  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Ross and Katie are on the airplane. Ross is sleeping and Katie is reading a magazine.)  
  
Katie: Oh my god. (Shakes Ross awake.) Look at this. They have the shoes I just brought for half off.  
  
Ross: You woke me up to point this out. (Lays his head back down.) Let me sleep.  
  
Katie: Fine. (Flips the page.) No! (Shakes him up again.) They are not going to make the sweater in dark green anymore.  
  
Ross: So what. They are still going to make it in 20 different colors. And beside I thought you favorite color was red.  
  
Katie: It is red only with dresses.  
  
Ross: Can you please let me sleep? After all we do not sleep much once we get there.  
  
(Ross lay back down.)  
  
Katie: We don't. (Looks confuse.)  
  
(Joey and Kelly are sitting in a booth inside a bar.)  
  
Joey: So what is this all about? You saw me on TV and think you can hit me up for the money?  
  
Kelly: You on TV?  
  
Joey: Look why don't you just leave before you make yourself look like a bigger fool.  
  
Kelly: Joey this is your kid. He is six years and three months old. (Joey counts back.) I did not have sex with anyone for three months before you. And he looks at you.  
  
Joey: But why didn't you try to contract me?  
  
Kelly: Because I was afraid. I did not know how you would of reaction.  
  
Joey: What do you think I'm? So jerk. (A waiter walks up to them.) Can you see we talking!  
  
Kelly: I don't know. You seem like the type who slept or had lots of one- night stands.  
  
Joey: No. So how long are you going two going to be here in L.A?  
  
Kelly: Just a few days. I have a business meeting to attend.  
  
Joey: Ok. But you have to stay with us.  
  
Kelly: I do not want to do that to you.  
  
Joey: No. Please.  
  
Kelly: Ok.  
  
(Ross and Katie walk are in bed. Katie is sleeping and Ross is trying to the "hug and roll".)  
  
Ross: Come on damn it roll over. (Rolls her over then Rolls back.) That better.  
  
(She rolls back over and hugs him.)  
  
Katie: I use to date a hug and roller.  
  
Ross: (Turns on the light.) But I need my space when I sleep.  
  
Katie: You should of thought about that before you married me.  
  
Ross: Ok let make a deal. When we have sex I will hold you. But no sex means I get space.  
  
Katie: And we had sex tonight.  
  
Ross: Yeah but not since we made the deal so good night. (Turns off the light.)  
  
Katie: (Turn it on.) Honey do you want too? (Rubs his arm.)  
  
Ross: Sleep with space? Yes. Good night. (Turns off the light.)  
  
(Joey and Jacob are playing catch with a football in the backyard. Rachel is watching as Jenny plays in the sandbox.)  
  
Rachel: When is Kelly supposed to be home from her meeting?  
  
Joey: At five o'clock. Man this has been the best week. (Toss the ball to Jacob. He runs and Joey tackles him softy.)  
  
Rachel: Even the week of 75.  
  
Joey: Yes even the week of 75 hours of free porn does not beat this.  
  
Jacob: Daddy I want something to eat?  
  
Joey: Ask nicely son?  
  
Jacob: Please?  
  
Joey: Ok. So another three pizza's for us to share son?  
  
Rachel: Maybe you so feed him something else?  
  
Joey: Ok. So is there anything you in the mode for?  
  
Jacob: An apple. I eat lots of apples.  
  
Joey: Sure thing. (Looks confuse as he walks inside past Rachel.) Would my son eat apples?  
  
Rachel: So Jacob does you have any friends in England?  
  
Jacob: Just the ones who do not call me a bastard.  
  
Rachel: Not too many then.  
  
(Joey walks back outside with Kelly.)  
  
Kelly: Did you guys have fun today?  
  
Joey: Oh yeah. (Hands him his apple.) Show how want I taught you Jacob.  
  
Jacob: How to pee by the bushes.  
  
Joey: No. You already show you sister that. The other thing I taught you.  
  
Jacob: How you doing. (Smiles with a mouth full of apples.)  
  
Kelly: Great. He will be able to get laid anytime he wants.  
  
Joey: That is the point. Anyway tomorrow we are going the baseball game. The NY Mets are in town.  
  
Kelly: (Looks upset.) I guess.  
  
Jacob: Well I have to go the pee pee. (Walks towards the bushes.)  
  
(Ross and Katie are eating dinner at a fancy restaurant.)  
  
Ross: I'm telling you it not right. You should always let a little kid go in front of you in line. I mean you both only had one item.  
  
Katie: But I really wanted the bag of water balloons to throw at you.  
  
Ross: (Stands up. His pants are all wet.) And I can't thank you enough.  
  
Katie: Oh lighting up. You found it funny.  
  
Ross: Yeah. (He signs the bill and hands it to the waiter.) You mind if I keep this pen. It is very nice.  
  
Waiter: I guess since it your honeymoon. Yeah it has very think ink that tuff to get out of stuff.  
  
Ross: Good. (Smiles.)  
  
Katie: So do you want to go back to the room?  
  
Ross: (Stares at the pin.) Oh yeah. Right now.  
  
Katie: That good. It looks like you cuddle up with the pen.  
  
(Rachel looks at another test in the bathroom. It is positive.)  
  
Rachel: Oh my god. (Starts to cry. Kelly knocks on the door.)  
  
Kelly: You ok in there?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. (Hinds the test then opens the door.) You can use the other restroom?  
  
Kelly: Oh that ok. I just wanted to tell you I put Jenny and Jacob down for a nap.  
  
Rachel: Thanks. I'm going to take shower.  
  
Kelly: Ok.  
  
(Later Rachel walks out into the hallway in her room.)  
  
Rachel: Hey Kelly I was wondering do you want to do anything when they go to the game? Kelly?  
  
(Walks into the guestroom. The room is empty expect for a note on the bed. Rachel reads it.)  
  
Rachel: Oh no. (She runs downstairs and Joey walks inside the house.)  
  
Joey: Look at all the Mets gear I got Jacob. (Shows her.) I figure this way the L.A fans will not just chuck stuff at me.  
  
Rachel: Joey I have to tell you something.  
  
Joey: Ok?  
  
Rachel: Kelly and Jacob went back to London.  
  
Joey: Why? Was something wrong? Did they leave they phone number or anything?  
  
Rachel: No.  
  
Joey: But why would she just leave with Jacob like that?  
  
Rachel: I do know. But the good news is I'm pregnant.  
  
Joey: (Stares at her.) Oh. That is great. (They hug both looking sad.)  
  
(Ross is sitting up in bed writing a note as Katie wakes up. She turns away and puts her robe on.)  
  
Katie: Man you were really a huger last night. I mean you even were touching my face. Which was a little weird.  
  
Ross: Oh that is nothing.  
  
(Katie turns around with. Ross has drawn all over her face.)  
  
Ross: (Shakes the pen.) Damn I'm out of ink.  
  
  
  
The End ~202 TOW Joey's Trip To London~ 


	22. 202 TOW Joey Goes To London

~202 TOW Joey Goes To London~  
  
(Ross is picking up Jenny. Rachel is filling in Ross on Jacob and Kelly.)  
  
Ross: And they just left?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. I do not know what I'm going to do. He is so upset he refuses to even watch Die Hard.  
  
Ross: Oh no. (Picks Jenny up.)  
  
Rachel: Thanks for taking Jenny for a couple of day.  
  
Ross: Well it nothing like a two year old to keep the sex driven newlywed period going.  
  
Rachel: By the way there is one more thing. I'm pregnant.  
  
Ross: That is great. (Hugs Rachel with his free arm.)  
  
Rachel: I not sure the time was right however. I just afraid he might do something stupid. (The phone rings. Rachel picks it up.)  
  
Ross: I sure he be ok.  
  
Rachel: What you mean you not at work. You went to London? How stupid can you be?  
  
Ross: Rachel I do not think looking for his son is stupid.  
  
Rachel: Shut up. No you right. Joey I hope you find them (She slams the phone door.)  
  
Ross: Why did you slam the phone?  
  
Rachel: Oh I want to get a new one but Joey said not until this one breaks.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Joey is talking to a lady at the airport counter.)  
  
Joey: What you mean you do not know if Kelly and Jacob threw in?  
  
Lady: I need a last name.  
  
Joey: Smith. (Prays as she types it in.)  
  
Lady: They flew in a few days ago.  
  
Joey: And do you have an address you can give me?  
  
Lady: Sure. (Writes it out and hands it to him.) I just hope you not a stalker or anything because this is totally against policy.  
  
Joey: No. (Hands here a ten.) Wait you do not ask for a bribe. (Takes it back.)  
  
(Ross and Katie are making out on their bed when Jenny walks in.)  
  
Ross: Sweetie what do you want?  
  
Jenny: Nothing. Just walking around.  
  
(She turns around and leaves. Ross gets up to follow her in the hallway.)  
  
Ross: It is time for bed. (Picks her up and puts carries her into her room.)  
  
Jenny: (Crying.) But I'm not sleepy, mean Daddy.  
  
Ross: (Lays her down in her bed.) Go to sleep.  
  
(He storms out turn off the light and shutting the door. Katie is standing there.)  
  
Katie: What is the matter?  
  
Ross: He called me mean Daddy.  
  
Katie: (Hugs him.) But you were just laying down the law.  
  
Ross: I know. (Starts walking downstairs.)  
  
Katie: Where you going?  
  
Ross: I'm not in the mood.  
  
(Joey is on the phone in a hotel room.)  
  
Joey: Yeah I got their address and will see them in the morning. What you mean you going to the doctor in the morning. Can't you wait to I get back? Ok bye Rach.  
  
(He starts reading the menu.)  
  
Joey: Meatball sub. (He dials the phone.) Yes I look to order a meatball sub. What you mean no orders after nine? Well fine I think I stay somewhere else next time I'm in London. Well you go to Bloody Hell too.  
  
(Rachel is on the phone lying in bed.)  
  
Rachel: I'm telling you Monica you should of saw the look on his face when I told him. Yeah I know but how else do you tell Ross they stop production on Jussic Park 4.  
  
(She stands up and walks into the hallway.)  
  
Rachel: Yes I will call you when Joey gets back. Yeah the house is free so it I can get some naked time.  
  
(She hangs up the phone and takes her robe off. Someone knocks on the door. She walks door and opens it.)  
  
Rachel: What took you guys so long? (A pizza guy just stares at her.) Oh you want a tip. Stop staring at me and get a life.  
  
(She slams the door. Then looks down and realize she was naked the whole time.)  
  
Rachel: Wow. He did get a tip.  
  
(Ross is napping on the couch. He is wake by banging sounds from the kitchen.)  
  
Ross: What the hell is that?  
  
(He runs in the kitchen. Jenny is banging to pots together.)  
  
Ross: Jennifer Rachel Geller-Green what are you doing?  
  
Jenny: Having fun mean Daddy.  
  
Ross: No you making a bunch of noise. You are going to wake Katie up. (Takes the pans and puts them up on the counter.) You going to you room young lady.  
  
Jenny: Why? So you can have fun with Katie.  
  
Ross: No to teach you a lesson.  
  
(Picks her up and carries her upstairs. She sits her down in a chair in her room.)  
  
Ross: Honey why would you say I would put you in your room so I can have fun with Katie.  
  
Jenny: Because you love her more then me.  
  
Ross: What? I do not love her more than you.  
  
Jenny: Then why are you playing with her more then me?  
  
Ross: Because we are getting to know each other.  
  
Jenny: But I'm the baby.  
  
Ross: You were the baby. But you becoming a big girl and you want need us any second. Ok?  
  
Jenny: Ok. As long as another baby do not come along I fine. (Ross rolls his eyes.)  
  
(Rachel is sitting on the couch in her robe when there is a knock on the door.)  
  
Rachel: Hold on.  
  
(She opens the door. A guy with Chinese food is standing there.)  
  
Rachel: I did not order any Chinese food.  
  
Guy: I know. But, my cousin who delivered a pizza to you this afternoon told me about how nice you all.  
  
Rachel: Oh no. I not going to show you my naked. Is there sweat and sour pork in there?  
  
Guy: (Nods.) Yeah.  
  
(Rachel flashes him. He hands her the food.)  
  
Rachel: If you see the cable guy tell him about this. I'm late on my payment.  
  
(Joey is sitting on some steps in front of an apartment building. Kelly and Jacob come walking down the street.)  
  
Kelly: So you like your first day of school.  
  
Jacob: It was ok. (Sees Joey.) Daddy.  
  
(He runs up to them. They hug.)  
  
Kelly: (Upset.) What are you doing here?  
  
Joey: I get worried when you left in short notice? (Stares at her.)  
  
Kelly: Oh. It just Jacob started school today. Do you want to come inside?  
  
Joey: That would be nice.  
  
(They walk inside their apartment.)  
  
Kelly: Jacob why don't you go clean you room up real quickly so you Dad can see it.  
  
Jacob: Ok.  
  
(He runs into his room.)  
  
Joey: Why did you just leave like that?  
  
Kelly: (Trying to keep her voice down.) Because I was becoming afraid.  
  
Joey: Of what?  
  
Kelly: If you two becoming too attached.  
  
Joey: Huh?  
  
Kelly: It just I do not want him to be so happy around you that he is always sad when you not around. I mean after all it not like you guys will be seeing each other everyday.  
  
Joey: Oh.  
  
Kelly: I mean I how often will you guys be able to see each other. A couple of times a year?  
  
Joey: You right? Maybe I should just go.  
  
(He goes to leave but Jacob runs out of the room.)  
  
Jacob: Daddy are you going?  
  
Joey: (Looks at him and smiles.) No. Come on son show me you room.  
  
(Rachel is on the phone.)  
  
Rachel: Oh that is great Jo. Sure I will love to go to London sometime. Or by the way I postpone the appointment to you get back.  
  
(There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Rachel: Honey I have to go.  
  
(She opens the door. The cable guy is standing there.)  
  
Rachel: (Hands him a check and flashes.) Thanks for dropping the late charges.  
  
Cable Guy: Do you want me to teach you how to get free HBO?  
  
  
  
The End ~203 TOW Ross's new car~ 


	23. 203 TOW Ross's New Car

~203 TOW Ross's New Car~  
  
(Everyone is a car dealership.)  
  
Ross: So what do you guys think? The red or blue one?  
  
Katie: I do not think you will get more off base on the color of your pen.  
  
Joey: How much longer is this going to be?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. We have are first doctor's appointment today.  
  
Ross: I like that one. (Points at a red SUV.)  
  
Jenny: Me to daddy.  
  
Ross: That it. The red SUV it is.  
  
Katie: Your not going to give you wife a say?  
  
Ross: (Thinking.) You got you own car.  
  
Joey: Ok we like it too. (Rolls his eyes at Rachel.)  
  
Rachel: Yeah. Hey we going?  
  
(Rachel and Joey start to leave. Jenny goes to follow.)  
  
Rachel: No honey you have to stay with Daddy.  
  
Jenny: Why?  
  
Rachel: Because Mommy is going to the doctor.  
  
Jenny: Are you dying? (Starts to cry.)  
  
Rachel: No honey. (Everyone in the lot starts staring as she cries louder.) Calm down honey I'm ok. (Hands her a sucker.)  
  
Jenny: Ok. (She turns around and smiles.)  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Rachel and Joey are in the doctor's office. Rachel is ready for the exam.)  
  
Joey: Wow. You mean this stuff is use more for just porn movies? (Messing with doctor's tools.)  
  
Rachel: That why you should not put it up your nose, like you did.  
  
(I female doctor walks in.)  
  
Rachel: Hi Doctor White.  
  
Doctor White: How all you feeling today?  
  
Rachel: Ok. Just a little morning sickness.  
  
Joey: A little? You threw up nine times this morning.  
  
Rachel: Yeah but five times after I ate you waffles.  
  
Joey: Hey that is nothing. You should to keep down your meatloaf.  
  
Doctor White: Ok will you lay down. (Rachel lays down. The doctor turns the machine on.) Anything seems to be. Oh no.  
  
Joey: What?  
  
Rachel: Is something wrong?  
  
Doctor White: No sorry. Just a fingerprint mark on the screen. (There is your baby. Points it out.)  
  
Joey: Oh look it has you old nose. (They hold hands.)  
  
Doctor White: I will be back in a minute.  
  
Rachel: (Crying.) That is our baby.  
  
(Ross is driving home in his new SUV. Jenny is in the car seat next to him. Katie is in the back seat looking upset.)  
  
Ross: Can you believe the deal I got on this?  
  
Katie: I guess. Oh by the way why do I have to sit in the back seat?  
  
Ross: Because I awarding Jenny for being a good girl.  
  
Katie: For what? Peeing when the sale man pick her up.  
  
Ross: Yes I did.  
  
(The stop at a stop sign. Katie ducks down.)  
  
Katie: Oh my god it some of my co-workers. I cannot let them see me in the backseat.  
  
Ross: Good lord Katie. They not are going to laugh at you or anything. (Ross honks the horn and points in the backseat.)  
  
Katie: Why are you doing this for me?  
  
Ross: Because you do not like my new car.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are picking up Jenny from Ross's house.)  
  
Ross: So did anything go well at the doctor's?  
  
Joey: Yeah, until (Starts to laugh.) Rachel forgot to button her top.  
  
Rachel: Hey you swear to me you were not going to tell anyone.  
  
Joey: That was about the school kids walking by saying honk, honk.  
  
Ross: (Hands a sleeping Jenny to Joey laughing.) And a honk, honk there.  
  
Rachel: Where is Katie? Do not tell me she dump you already.  
  
Ross: Oh she is upset about the new car.  
  
Joey: Why?  
  
Ross: I do not know. I'm sure she will grow to like it. After all she has her own car.  
  
(Katie is upstairs on the phone.)  
  
Katie: Yes I want you to steal the damn car. Yes I know it really a SUV. I do not care, but it cannot be trace back to me.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are curdles up on the couch as Jenny plays on the floor.)  
  
Rachel: You seem happy Jenny. Do not tell me you pour sand in Mommy's car again.  
  
Jenny: No. I'm just happy because I'm always going to the baby of the family.  
  
Joey: No your. (Rachel slaps his arm.)  
  
Rachel: Honey we have to tell you something.  
  
Jenny: (Gets up and sits on the couch.) Ok?  
  
Rachel: You are going to a have little brother or sister.  
  
Jenny: What? (Crying.) So I'm not going to be the baby anymore?  
  
Joey: No because you going to be the big girl.  
  
Rachel: Honey please says something.  
  
Jenny: I want to go to bed.  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
(Ross is outside looking stun.)  
  
Ross: Where the hell is it? (Looks around. Katie comes running out.) What the hell happen to my new car.  
  
Katie: SUV.  
  
Ross: Go get the phone and call the cops.  
  
Katie: Ok. (Looks worried as she walks back inside. Joey pulls up in the driveway.)  
  
Joey: Ross why standing out here in your robe. Did you forget all Thursday's morning bunch at Hooters?  
  
Ross: Joey had notice anything missing?  
  
Joey: Yes you clothes.  
  
Ross: Not that. Someone has stolen my new car.  
  
(Katie walks back out on the phone.)  
  
Katie: (Hangs up.) I reported it missing. They put it on the list.  
  
Ross: What? They not even going to come over here?  
  
Katie: I guess not.  
  
Ross: Just my luck. I find the perfect SUV for me and it gets stolen.  
  
Katie: (Feeling guilty.) You never know. You might come back from your bunch and it will be park right in front of the house.  
  
Ross: You right. Come on Joey lets go.  
  
(Ross jumps into Joey's car. They pull away.)  
  
Katie: (On the phone.) Yes I need the SUV back. An hour. Ok bye.  
  
(Rachel is trying to feed Jenny.)  
  
Rachel: Come on honey you love peas.  
  
Jenny: No. Me baby.  
  
Rachel: Honey why do you still want to be the baby?  
  
Jenny: Because you will spend more time and love it more than me.  
  
Rachel: Well yes and no. At first I will have to spend more time with the baby to take care of it. But I will never love it more than you, or the other way around.  
  
Jenny: Oh. So I'm a big girl now.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. But you cannot drive for another 14 years ok.  
  
Jenny: Ok.  
  
(Rachel starts to feed her but she picks up the spoon and feeds herself.)  
  
Rachel: There you go.  
  
(Joey and Ross pull up in front for Ross's house. The SUV is in the driveway.)  
  
Ross: What the hell? (Katie comes out.) How did it get back here? Joey this is. (Turns around as Joey drives off.)  
  
Katie: I got something to tell you. But you have to promise not to get upset.  
  
Ross: I cannot get upset. My car is back. (Hugs the SUV.)  
  
Katie: Ok. I had a friend of mines steal it.  
  
Ross: What? Why?  
  
Katie: Because you made me sit in the back seat.  
  
Ross: So you have my car stolen?  
  
Katie: Sorry.  
  
Ross: So where did Tom take it.  
  
Katie: Tom took it. How did you know it was Tom?  
  
Ross: Because I caught him trying to steal it this morning.  
  
Katie: But it was. You set me up.  
  
Ross: Yes. Yes I did. (He opens the Drives door. A bunch of sand falls out.)  
  
  
  
The End ~204 TOW The Weird Sandwich~ Coming Soon. 


	24. 204 TOW The Weird Sandwich

~204 TOW The Weird Sandwich~  
  
(Joey walks into the kitchen. He sees a sandwich on the counter.)  
  
Joey: How you doing?  
  
(Picks it up and starts eating it.)  
  
Joey: Man you taste weird, but great.  
  
(Joey sits down and takes the last bite. Rachel comes in the kitchen.)  
  
Rachel: (Looks at the counter.) Where is my sandwich?  
  
Joey: You know the rule. You left it all alone.  
  
Rachel: But Joey that was one of those weird sandwich pregnant women eats.  
  
Joey: Yeah, it was great. Hey if you make another one for yourself make me one too.  
  
Rachel: Ok. (Stops and thinks.) What the hell was in it?  
  
Joey: I do not know. You can't remember.  
  
Rachel: No. I mean it was last night when I made it.  
  
(Joey starts flipping through the counters.)  
  
Joey: Well let just starts putting stuff together until we get a match. I trying you we can make millions off the thing.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Ross and Katie with Ben are eating lunch at a outside café'.)  
  
Ross: You should try some of my tuna melt.  
  
Katie: Oh sorry. I'm do not like tuna.  
  
Ross: Wow. I just love finding out all this great things about you.  
  
Katie: I have to go the bathroom.  
  
(Katie gets up and walks off.)  
  
Ross: So do you like Katie Ben?  
  
Ben: She ok. Better than Emily. But that does not say much.  
  
Ross: While. (Stares at Carol down the street kissing some guy.) What the hell? (Stands up.) You mom is kissing some guy.  
  
Ben: You mean she has not told you about Paul?  
  
(Ross walks in Rachel's house with Ben.)  
  
Ross: (Looks stun.) Is anyone home?  
  
(Rachel comes out of the kitchen. Joey the bathroom holding his tubby.)  
  
Rachel: Yeah. What is wrong?  
  
Ross: Oh nothing. I just need you to watch Ben for a little while. Katie is at work.  
  
Joey: Ok. Come here Ben. I need you to taste a couple of sandwich for me.  
  
(Joey and Ben walk into the kitchen.)  
  
Ross: I will be back later. After I kill Carol.  
  
Joey: Why are you going to kill Carol?  
  
Ross: Because she is dating a guy. (Turns around and opens the door.) Good- bye.  
  
(Ross leaves and Ben runs into the bathroom. Joey comes out of the kitchen.)  
  
Joey: It was not pickle, meatloaf, and grape jelly.  
  
Ben: (From the bathroom.) There is already barf in the Toilet.  
  
Rachel: I told you Joey to flush the toilet.  
  
Joey: But I barf eight times today. My arm was getting tired.  
  
(Ross pounds on the Carol's door.)  
  
Carol: (From the inside.) I keep telling you I'm not the one that steals your paper. (Opens the door.) Ross why are you pounding on the door like that? (She goes back to reading the sports page.)  
  
Ross: I saw you kissing Paul.  
  
Carol: Oh. (Looks scared.) You seem upset about it.  
  
Ross: You think Ms. I'm dumping you because I'm a lesbian.  
  
Carol: Why are you taking this so hard?  
  
Ross: Why? If I even how to tell you I'm just wasting my time.  
  
Carol: Yes you are.  
  
Ross: Oh go to hell. (Walks out and slams the door.)  
  
(Rachel, Ben, Jenny, and Joey are tasting sandwiches in the kitchen.)  
  
Joey: Ok. I think the Peanut Butter and Clams are next to try.  
  
Jenny: No more. (Rubs her tubby.)  
  
Rachel: You will eat and like it girl.  
  
Joey: Rach calm down.  
  
Rachel: Oh I'm sorry honey. Why don't you and Ben go play in the sandbox?  
  
Ben: But I'm nine. I do not play in the sandbox anymore.  
  
Rachel: Would you like to try this? (Shows him the sandwich.)  
  
Ben: I teach Jenny how to, dig the sand.  
  
(Ben and Jenny run into the backyard.)  
  
Joey: (Tries the sandwich.) That is not it. (Puts the sandwich down.) I had enough.  
  
Rachel: Maybe it was staying overnight on the counter that gave it the taste?  
  
Joey: Maybe. (Stands up.) I'm going to take a nap.  
  
Rachel: No. One more hour, please.  
  
Joey: Honey. This is not sex.  
  
Rachel: Come one.  
  
Joey: Damn. You know I have never turn down your begging.  
  
(Ross comes walking into the house.)  
  
Ross: Where is Ben?  
  
Rachel: Outside. Why?  
  
Ross: I want to take him home and spend time with him, that all.  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
Joey: Sandwich?  
  
Ross: This is not the time for food.  
  
(Ross walks out into the backyard.)  
  
Ross: (From the backyard.) Ben why are you burying your sister?  
  
(Ross, Katie, and Ben are watching TV.)  
  
Ross: Is this fun or what?  
  
(There is a knock on the door. Ross stands up and opens it.)  
  
Ross: How many times do I have to tell you Carol? I'm not handing my son over to a liar like you.  
  
Carol: Can we talk?  
  
Ross: (Walks outside and slams the door.) Ok.  
  
Carol: Why are you so upset?  
  
Ross: Because we divorce because you said you were gay.  
  
Carol: Oh. See I think to me it not the gender but the person.  
  
Ross: What? So now I'm not good enough for you? Is that it?  
  
Carol: No. It just. Why do you care some much? Are you happy with Katie?  
  
Ross: You do not get it. I miss so much of Ben life because we were not together.  
  
Carol: Oh. So you not upset because you would of like to still be with me.  
  
Ross: Hell no. Right now I would want to be Emily than you.  
  
Carol: Well now that you got that off your chest can Ben and I get going?  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
Carol: So you forgive me?  
  
Ross: No. But I have to live with you in my life.  
  
(Joey and Rachel are sitting at the kitchen table.)  
  
Joey: Well that it. No more.  
  
Rachel: Look around. We are out of food.  
  
Joey: I will go to the store this evening.  
  
Rachel: No I will go. We need more than meat. (Looks around.) What is that sandwich on the counter?  
  
Joey: Peanut butter and Jelly. The weirdest sandwich I can think of.  
  
Rachel: What you mean the weirdest sandwich you can think of?  
  
Joey: Well I never had one.  
  
Rachel: What? Why?  
  
Joey: Where the meat in it?  
  
Rachel: You should try it.  
  
Joey: Ok. (Picks it up and starts eating it.) This is it. This is the sandwich that tasted so great.  
  
Rachel: What. (Stands up.) No way. I remember making me a.(Thinking.) Peanut butter and Jelly sandwich. (Starts to laugh.)  
  
Joey: Wow my mom was wrong. They taste so good.  
  
(Starts to leave.)  
  
Rachel: Where you going?  
  
Joey: To the store to get stuff to make more sandwiches. Well I guess you not into crazy food let.  
  
Rachel: I guess not. Oh hey can you get me Spam and Ketchup.  
  
Joey: What? (Stares at Rachel.)  
  
Rachel: My mom use to make Spam and Ketchup sandwiches are the time.  
  
  
  
The End ~205 TOW TIVO~ coming soon. 


	25. 205 TOW TIVO

~205 TOW TIVO~  
  
(Joey walks in the house carrying a box. Rachel claps happy.)  
  
Rachel: It has finally arrived.  
  
Joey: Yes it all TIVO. (Puts the box on the couch and opens it.)  
  
Rachel: You know how to set that up?  
  
Joey: Ross told me want to do. I better read the instructions.  
  
(Rachel takes the out of the box and puts it on top of the TV.)  
  
Rachel: Hand me the blue cord. (Joey hands her it. She hooks it up.) Hand me the red cord.  
  
Joey: Ok. (Hands it to her.)  
  
Rachel: (Hooks it up.) Finish.  
  
Joey: Wow.  
  
Rachel: Who do you think hook up Ross's?  
  
Joey: (Kiss her.) You bring me TIVO woman.  
  
Rachel: All we have to do is right for it to download  
  
Rachel and Joey: TIVO! TIVO! TIVO.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Ross and Katie walk in with Jenny. Rachel and Joey are still chatting TIVO.)  
  
Ross: You can just turn it on for it to work.  
  
Rachel: Oh we just so happy.  
  
Katie: For a second I figure one of you was part Native American.  
  
Joey: What you talking about? We are all Native American.  
  
Ross: Damn.  
  
Katie: What is it?  
  
Ross: Anytime people chat something like that I have go pee.  
  
(Heads the bathroom.)  
  
Everyone Else: Pee! Pee! Pee!  
  
(Ross slams the bathroom door.)  
  
Rachel: So you looking forward for you parents visiting?  
  
Katie: Yeah. I mean I'm a little worried. Ross is still bum about Carol not being gay.  
  
Joey: So do you want us to bring Jenny over tomorrow?  
  
Katie: No. I think the first day should just be my parents and us.  
  
(Ross walks out of the bathroom.)  
  
Everyone else: Pee! Pee! Pee!  
  
Ross: (Turns around.) Man. (Head back into the bathroom.)  
  
(Ross and Katie are doing some last minute house keeping.)  
  
Katie: Dusting Ross's dinosaur stuff.  
  
Ross: Hey how many times do I have to tell you that the T-Rex always faces left?  
  
Katie: Sorry. (Turns it to face left. When Ross turns around she drops and breaks it.) Oh no. (Bends down to pick up the pieces.) It must like facing right and tried to turn itself.  
  
Ross: Very funny.  
  
(There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Katie: Can you get that? I will get the door.  
  
(Opens the door. Her parents are standing there.)  
  
Katie: Hi Mom, Daddy. (She hugs and kisses them.)  
  
Mom: How are you?  
  
Katie: Ok.  
  
(Ross comes to the doorway.)  
  
Ross: Hi. (Extends his hand.)  
  
Daddy: So this is not just a bad dream. You really got married without us.  
  
Katie: Sorry.  
  
Daddy: Joking. (Shakes Ross hangs. Then hangs him their bags.)  
  
Mom: We think it sweet want you two did.  
  
Ross: Really? You do not think we nuts like my parents.  
  
Daddy: No. Hell Judy and I do it all the time.  
  
(Ross stares at her.)  
  
Katie: Oh I never told you that my parents are name Jack and Judy too.  
  
Ross: No you did not. (Shakes his head.) Anyway I can show your room.  
  
(Starts walking up the stairs.)  
  
Katie: Really it is Ben's room. That his son.  
  
Ross: Yeah so if you find any playboys let me know. I have a feeling he has been hiding some up there.  
  
(Joey and Jenny are watching TV as Rachel walks into the house.)  
  
Joey: Other tuff day at work honey?  
  
Rachel: Yeah. Some idiot ordered the wrong.  
  
Joey: Sorry. I care but not enough for details. Beside I'm watching the Cartoons I record with TIVO.  
  
Rachel: Where when I'm done I want to watch my soap operas I recorded at one o'clock. Thanks god I was able to recorded both of them at the same time.  
  
Joey: Hey that cool because that was the same time the Cartoons were on.  
  
Rachel: No. Joey you only can record two things at the same time.  
  
Joey: Sorry.  
  
Rachel: Well it is ok. As long as you did not recorded over DOOL. The only reason I watch the other one is to compare notes and see if they stealing storylines.  
  
Joey: Once again sorry.  
  
Rachel: Man Joey that was important episode. John Antison hand a big screen. You know I love him like a father figure.  
  
Joey: Yes Rach we are know that. (Stands up.) Look I have a cast meeting tonight. Can you record Monday Night Football for me? The NY Jets are going to be stinking it up.  
  
Rachel: Sure thing sweetie. (They kiss and Joey leaves the room.) Expect for one problem. I'm going to be recording before the Lifetime and Lifetime Movie Channel.  
  
(Ross, Katie, and Judy are sitting around the living room. Jack walks down the stairs with a couple of Playboys.)  
  
Jack: Hey Ross look at want I found?  
  
Judy: (Takes them from him.) Two days ago. (Smacks him with them.)  
  
Ross: Oh you two are really cool. I mean my parents are nothing you like.  
  
Katie: Yeah thinks for setting up the new Windows for us Mom.  
  
Judy: Well we try to keep up with the times.  
  
(There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Jack: Come on in.  
  
Ross: Hey do not do that. You do not know if it can be a murder or not.  
  
(Ross stands up and opens the door. Joey and Jenny walk in.)  
  
Jenny: Hi Daddy.  
  
Ross: How is Daddy's big girl?  
  
Jenny: Ok.  
  
Ross: Oh Joey did you see that game last night?  
  
Joey: No I miss it. (Upset.)  
  
Ross: Do you want to stay for a little while?  
  
Joey: No I better get home. I'm recording a movie and I want to make sure the TIVO is working right. But I could use the restroom real quick.  
  
(Joey walk upstairs and into Ben's room.)  
  
Ross: Joey you do know that is not the bathroom?  
  
Joey: (Walk out.) Yeah. I was just look for my playboys I keep over here for bathroom use. (Sees Judy with them and walks down and grabs them.) So did you like want you saw in them?  
  
Judy: Yes. Yes I did.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are out in the driveway. The TIVO is on the ground.)  
  
Joey: I hate to do this but it is the way it must be.  
  
Rachel: We have had just two many fights since we got it.  
  
(They put on a pair of goggles each and pick up a sledgehammer.)  
  
Joey: Ladies go first.  
  
(Rachel hits the TIVO and it breaks. Then Joey takes a swing.)  
  
Joey: What about TIVO, TIVO, and TIVO now?  
  
Rachel: I guess it back to VCR recording and calling in sick for us.  
  
Joey: I would not have it any other way.  
  
(Ross is loading Jack and Judy's car.)  
  
Katie: It has been so fun.  
  
Ross: Yeah you should visit again real soon.  
  
(They all hug and kiss.)  
  
Jack: Good-bye. And remember that trip on how to hack into the porn websites for free.  
  
Ross: Oh I won't.  
  
(They pull away in their car.)  
  
Katie: Thank god they are finally gone.  
  
Ross: What do you mean? Your parents are great.  
  
Katie: Yeah maybe to you. Because they act cool and try to be your friend. But I want my parents to be normal. You know scare of anything made after the 70's and talk like they never watch TV a day I there life.  
  
Ross: Why?  
  
Katie: Because it makes you seem so old. I mean you have to be like ten times cooler than your parents. Man I just can image how dull your parents all.  
  
Ross: I know. (Realizes want she meant.) Hey.  
  
  
  
The End ~TOW The Blue Dress~ Coming Soon 


	26. 206 TOW The Blue Dress

~206 TOW The Blue Dress~  
  
(Joey is trying to zip Rachel's dress for her but it tight. She is starting to show.)  
  
Joey: It will not zip. It is too tight. Maybe you should wear something else?  
  
Rachel: No. This is my favorite blue dress and I'm going to wear it one more time.  
  
Joey: (Pulls it hard and gets it.) Thank god.  
  
Rachel: I'm so proud of you.  
  
Joey: Yeah it was tuff but I zip it.  
  
Rachel: No that. I mean you giving a speech at Ben's school fundraiser.  
  
Joey: Well I will like to thank you for rewriting the speech.  
  
Rachel: I was not sure that telling them if you have tons of sex in high school, do not go to college, and work half ass will not prevent you from becoming a TV star.  
  
Joey: Hey that is my life in a nutshell.  
  
Rachel: Yeah but still. They do not have you good looks.  
  
Joey: True.  
  
(Rachel drops something. She bends down to pick it up. The dress almost rips.)  
  
Rachel: No I will be ok. I just cannot bend over anymore in it.  
  
Joey: So I should pick up my wallet that fall out of the pocket.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(The school gym is set up with tables. Joey, Ross, Katie, Ben, and Rachel are sitting in one table at front of the room.)  
  
Joey: Can you be any meaner to Carol?  
  
Ross: Yes I can.  
  
Ben: Dad will you please be nice to her?  
  
Ross: Ok. But if I have to you will not get that new bike for Christmas.  
  
Ben: But I do not want.  
  
Ross: Do not back talk to me or no bike.  
  
Rachel: I need to go to the restroom.  
  
(Joey helps her up.)  
  
Ross: Man that dress is tight on you. Was there anything else you could of wear?  
  
(Joey motions for him to shut up.)  
  
Rachel: I fine. I just cannot bend over.  
  
Ross: Will nice to see you change you motto since high school.  
  
(Joey had to hold Rachel back. Rachel walk to the restroom as Carol walk to the table.)  
  
Katie: So Carol what did you find out?  
  
Carol: That Joey is on after the teacher of the year award.  
  
Ross: So did you. (Looks at Ben.) Had a nice time on your date last night?  
  
Carol: Ross we do not have to talk about this.  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
Joey: (Going through his speech. Reads some of it.) It was a hard to choice between going to college or chasing my dream. No it was it. (Grabs a pen and rewrites on the paper.)  
  
Ross: You sure you should be doing that?  
  
Joey: Hey I'm giving the speech. (Reads more of it.) But most important was my avoiding dating girls.  
  
(The whole table laughs.)  
  
Ross: Does she have anything in there about watching want you eat? Like very few pizzas and meatball subs.  
  
(They laugh louder but get quite when Rachel walks back.)  
  
Rachel: What was so funny?  
  
Joey: Oh just a joke Chandler told me over the phone.  
  
Rachel: Oh I'm so sick of his jokes. Do not tell me.  
  
(A male teacher stands in front of the microphone on the stage.)  
  
Teacher: Hi I'm Mr. Johnson. I was vote teacher of the year last year. And not because of video game hour, that is only a rumor.  
  
Ben: (Whispers to the table.) He is right. It is because nine out of ten students gets A's in his class.  
  
Teacher: This year is another record year for us. Over 20,000 dollars have been donation from parents and local business. But by far are most famous donation comes from the star of the hit TV show Friends Like Us.  
  
(He stands up as anyone applauds.)  
  
Joey: Thank you.  
  
Teacher: This year his wife and him have donation a check of 2,500 dollars.  
  
(Joey stares at Rachel. He then walks up on stage and takes the microphone.)  
  
Joey: Yeah 2,500 dollars. And to think we do not even live in the area. (Stares at Rachel as he pulls his speech out.) Today I have decided to speak from my heart. My lovely wife and I gave this donation today because we care about schools. Sure it did not happen to help me. But hey I had more looks.  
  
Rachel: (Whisper to the rest of the table.) Hey it could be worst.  
  
Joey: But that does not mean your kids should take school kids.  
  
Ross: (Whispers to the table.) Good comeback.  
  
Joey: After all, just look at them. None of them have my looks.  
  
(Joey and Rachel are sitting on the couch watching TV.)  
  
Joey: Why did Access Hollywood have to do that hit piece on me? I mean when they interview me last must I gave them that lovely story.  
  
Rachel: (Still in the blue dress.) You mean the one about the Chick and the Duck.  
  
Joey: Yeah. (Smells.) When are you going to get out of that thing?  
  
Rachel: When I want too.  
  
Joey: Well you cannot sleep in the same bed as me. You made the sheets are sticky.  
  
Rachel: I'm staying in my favorite dress as long as I want to.  
  
(The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Hello? Yes I know what I said. They are planning to boycott the show. Ok set up something. Good-bye. I have to do some damage control tomorrow, but you cannot come if you wearing that.  
  
(Ross and Carol are in a middle of a fight at Ross's house. Ben is trying to get them to stop.)  
  
Ross: So what the hell was it than made you fall out of love with me huh? Was it that I was smarter than you? Oh pretty than you? Being more sex? Huh what the hell was it?  
  
Carol: (Throws her hands up in the air.) You still do not get it your idiot.  
  
Ross: No I get it perfectly. You love me one day, then the next day you did not.  
  
Ben: Will you two please shut up? I cannot stand this anymore.  
  
Carol: Fine. Lets go home.  
  
Ben: No! We not going to leave until you two work this out.  
  
Ross: Ben you cannot tell your parents want to do.  
  
(Ben points his finger in his face.)  
  
Ben: Now you listen and you listen good. I can understand why you would be hurt dad. And mom I understand you need to defend yourself. But can you both talk this out and try to move past this.  
  
Mom: Ok.  
  
Dad: I guess.  
  
Ben: Good. I'm going into the kitchen to fix me a bowl of ice cream. When I came back out here I want two see the two of you made up.  
  
(Ben walks into the kitchen.)  
  
Carol: (Takes Ross's hand and sits on the couch.) Listen it was not like I fell out of love of you. It just the excitement was gone for me. And I felt for you two.  
  
Ross: Maybe.  
  
Carol: Remember that time when you was dating Rachel you told me about the excitement you felt waking up he day.  
  
Ross: Yeah.  
  
Carol: Well that was gone for me.  
  
Ross: I guess it was gone for me too. So do you have that excitement with Paul?  
  
Carol: So what. I mean we just start dating.  
  
Ross: That good. Because I have it was Katie. I mean I even enjoy getting up on Mondays.  
  
Carol: But you hate Mondays.  
  
(They hug.)  
  
Ross: Oh my good. Ben is eating ice cream before dinner.  
  
(Gets up and runs into the kitchen.)  
  
Carol: No let me lecture him. (Follows Ross.)  
  
(Joey walks inside the house. Rachel is in a pair of sweats watching TV.)  
  
Joey: (Sits down next to her.) So I did pretty well huh.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. The best part was at the end when you made that crack about the teacher's people who was to ugly to make it in show business.  
  
Joey: Well it was so on the. Right that was not part of the speech.  
  
Rachel: I know. But the microphone pick it up and it was all over the Hollywood news shows.  
  
(The phone rings.)  
  
Joey: Oh that cannot be good. (Un plugs the cordless phone bass from the wall.) There all the problems go away.  
  
Rachel: (Looks sad.) All your problems maybe solve.  
  
Joey: Oh I see you change. What happened to the dress?  
  
(Holds up the dress that has rip.)  
  
Rachel: Jenny spilt some juice and I did not want it to stain. (Starts to cry.)  
  
Joey: (Put her arms around her.) There, there. Hey do you want to have a funnel for the dress like I did for the chick and the duck?  
  
Rachel: Ok.  
  
Joey: (Stands up.) I go dig the whole in the back yard. You find a box to put it in.  
  
Rachel: (Starts crying harder.) Ok.  
  
Joey: Wow you really taking this hard.  
  
Rachel: It just I really want to wear my favorite black dress but I'm afraid too.  
  
  
  
The End ~207 TOW The Thanksgiving Meatloaf~ 


	27. 207 TOW The Thanksgiving Meatloaf

~207 TOW The Thanksgiving Meatloaf~  
  
(Joey, Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Ross, and Jenny are standing around the airports.)  
  
Chandler: What time is Jacob plane going to arrive?  
  
Joey: 3:15. Oh there he is now.  
  
Phoebe: Coming out with the cute blond. Nice for a five-year-old.  
  
Joey: That is my boy.  
  
Rachel: The airplane company had someone ride with him.  
  
(Jacob runs into Joey's arm.)  
  
Joey: How was your flight son?  
  
Jacob: Good until I upset the lady sitting next to me.  
  
Ross: How did you upset her?  
  
Jacob: I just ask to use the bathroom.  
  
Rachel: And she got upset?  
  
Jacob: Yeah. She has me how I learn about the mile high club.  
  
(Everyone stares at Joey.)  
  
Chandler: You taught him about the mile high club?  
  
Joey: Hey I was just telling about my first flight over to London. I mean I could not use have sex in the bathroom. I mean I'm not that stupid.  
  
Phoebe: I think you just did stupid.  
  
(Looks at Jacob oh are staring at him.)  
  
Joey: Just ask to use the bathroom next time son.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Rachel, Joey, and Jacob walk into Monica's place. It is a total mess.)  
  
Joey: We in the right apartment right?  
  
Rachel: I'm not sure. Maybe she moved.  
  
(Monica walks out from baby's Joey room. She looks tired.)  
  
Monica: Oh hi. I just got Joey to sleep. Where is anyone else?  
  
Rachel: Ross, Katie, and Jenny are having dinner with you Mom.  
  
Joey: Yeah and Chandler and Phoebe went for some reason I now know about. Maybe you should get out of the house and join them.  
  
Rachel: We can watch Joey for you.  
  
Monica: Thanks. (Puts on her coat.) It just with anyone coming over here for Thanksgiving dinner it caught up with me.  
  
Joey: Maybe you should clean up first.  
  
Monica: Oh you right. (Walks into the bathroom.) I mean it a lot harder with Joey to get anything ready. I feel like I'm missing something big.  
  
Joey: I'm sure it nothing big.  
  
(The next day the adults are sitting around Monica's table for Thanksgiving dinner with a Meatloaf in the middle. The kids have a smaller table they sitting at.)  
  
Joey: What do you mean you forgot to buy a turkey?  
  
Monica: Hey I told you yesterday I felt I was forgetting something. But you told me to go to dinner so you two can have sex on this table.  
  
(Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, and Katie are stand up.)  
  
Chandler: And you are having us eat off this table?  
  
Monica: It ok. I clean it for two straight hours this morning.  
  
Rachel: How did you know . Never-mind?  
  
Joey: But you guys are missing the big picture. There is no turkey.  
  
Phoebe: I do not eat turkey.  
  
Chandler: Neither do I.  
  
Joey: Or shut up you two. This is Jacob's first Thanksgiving and he is having some turkey. Come on Jacob get your coat.  
  
Rachel: Where you going.  
  
Joey: To find some turkey to eat.  
  
Ross: But Joey you not. (Joey stares at him.) Going without me. I want my turkey to damn it.  
  
(Throws down his napkin and stands up.)  
  
Joey: Anyone else want to join us? (No on answers.) Fine then. Have you Thanksgiving meatloaf.  
  
(Jacob, Joey, and Ross leave.)  
  
Katie: Rachel do you think being their wives we should of join them?  
  
Rachel: I would but this meatloaf is great.  
  
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are walking down the street.)  
  
Ross: Lets go back to Monica's. We have been looking for a place to eat turkey for three hours.  
  
Jacob: Yeah I tired dad.  
  
Joey: Ok your wimps. Wait that there is a guy over there eating a plate of turkey. Yet go see where he got it.  
  
Ross: Joey he is homeless. He likely got it for the church at the end of the block. (Joey smiles at him.) Oh no we not eating a turkey dinner from a church. It is stealing from the needy on Thanksgiving.  
  
Joey: Your right. We need to look needy. (Walks into ally.) Come with me. Lets dirty up a little bit.  
  
(Jacob and Ross follow him.)  
  
(Everyone else has finish-eating dinner and is sitting around the couch. Monica walks out of baby Joey's room looking tired. She sits down in the chair.)  
  
Rachel: Are you going to get the dishes?  
  
Monica: I just let them set. (Everyone gasps.) I'm just too tired.  
  
Katie: That ok. We can do it for you. (Stands up.)  
  
Phoebe: (Laughing.) Think for yourself Ross's wife number four.  
  
Katie: My name Katie.  
  
Chandler: Please it easier for us this way. Number two do you have Monica's gift for her?  
  
(Rachel stares at Chandler.)  
  
Monica: Oh you guys got me a gift.  
  
Rachel: Yeah it an early Christmas gift. (Hands her an envelope.)  
  
Phoebe: I wanted to go with the DVD player by the way. (Rachel and Chandler stare at her.) I'm just hedging my bets.  
  
(Monica opens it up and reads it.)  
  
Monica: You got me a nanny? Why do you think I'm a bad Mother or something?  
  
Rachel: No.  
  
Chandler: It just you look so tired are the time we figure you can use a little help. It just for a few hours of week.  
  
Monica: Thanks. But you and Phoebe could just help me you know.  
  
Phoebe: I would but I have a life you know.  
  
(Everyone stares at Chandler.)  
  
Chandler: Baby Joey does not like me.  
  
Monica: Oh you guys are right. I can use a little break from time to time. (She looks over at Katie doing the dishes.) No Katie you are doing them all wrong.  
  
(Joey, Jacob, and Ross are in line at a church. They clearly look out of place.)  
  
Ross: We are going to hell for this.  
  
Joey: But at least we be fill with turkey.  
  
(A worker walks up behind Ross.)  
  
Worker: Sorry we only have food left for this much. Anyone behind this guy is out of luck. Sorry.  
  
(Everyone behind Ross starts to leave.)  
  
Ross: We cannot do this. Lets go.  
  
Jacob: Yeah Dad. I like meatloaf.  
  
Joey: (They both stare at him.) Fine. Damn holiday sprit. Lets go have some holiday meatloaf.  
  
(They go to leave but Joey stops.)  
  
Joey: Do you guys want to get some pizza instead?  
  
Jacob: Sure.  
  
Ross: Yeah. Hey I heard about this pizza place that has turkey pizza on Thanksgiving. (They both stare at them.) I should of mention that earlier huh?  
  
(Everyone is at the airport expect for baby Joey.)  
  
Ross: So Monica how do you like Joey's nanny. It was my idea after all.  
  
Monica: Oh she is fine. In fact we are going to see a movie after you guys takeoff.  
  
Phoebe: Yes but we saw Star Wars Episode three six times already.  
  
Chandler: Stop ending. I mean who did not see Skywalker turning into dark Vader?  
  
Monica: Me. And I have not see the movie let. That it we going to so love story instead.  
  
Chandler: But they always suck.  
  
Rachel: Well goodbye you all.  
  
Jacob: Yeah it has been fun.  
  
(Jacob leaves with a lady onto his plane.)  
  
Joey: Can me when you get home so I know you safe. Oh my god I sound some much like a parent.  
  
(Joey, Ross, Rachel, Jenny and Katie walk onto they plane.)  
  
Phoebe: I guess we have to go out there for Christmas huh?  
  
Monica: No way in hell. I want a quite day by myself.  
  
Chandler: Yeah me too.  
  
Phoebe: That is called Saturday night to you.  
  
Chandler: Yeah. But I get to open my own gifts I brought myself.  
  
  
  
The End ~208 TOW The Baby's Sex~ coming soon 


	28. 208 TOW The Baby's Sex

~208 TOW The Baby's Sex~  
  
(Ross and Joey are eating at a outside café'.)  
  
Ross: I'm telling you Joey you cannot give her just a book for Christmas.  
  
Joey: But it is about fashion. I mean I going to give you a book about science.  
  
Ross: Thanks but I think she wants more than a book. After all she got you that. thing that better than a book.  
  
Joey: I was thinking about turning the spare bedroom into the nursery but I'm not sure want to paint it. We have not fine out if it is a boy or girl let.  
  
Ross: Are you guys going to find out?  
  
Joey: Yeah. We have a doctor's appointment tomorrow.  
  
(A waiter drops the check off at the table.)  
  
Joey: I got this one. (Pulls out his wallet.)  
  
Ross: You sure you can afford it after all that money you spent on the book on me.  
  
Joey: That is want being a big TV star is all about. Getting to spend money on your friends and family. I mean 500 bucks for a stupid science book. Who would of funk huh?  
  
~ Opening Credits ~  
  
(Ross is looking through a book show in the mall. He sees a big book about Science and flips through it.)  
  
Ross: Man this book is great. Man I'm talking to myself again.  
  
(A worker for the store walks up to him.)  
  
Worker: Can I help you?  
  
Ross: Yeah how much is this book.  
  
Worker: 500 bucks.  
  
Ross: Wow. That is a lot for a book.  
  
Worker: I know. In fact we only have sold one copy. To a big TV star on that show Friends Like Us.  
  
Ross: Really.  
  
Worker: Yeah he went on about some nerd friend of his that would love it.  
  
Ross: Really.  
  
Worker: So will you take a copy?  
  
Ross: No. I got to spend all my money on a great, expense gift for a stupid TV Star friend of mines.  
  
(The Worker walks away.)  
  
Ross: I mean as you can tell. (Looks around.) I love talking to myself.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are sitting in the examine room.)  
  
Joey: Well I guess we just have to wait for the doc to come back with the results.  
  
Rachel: Yep.  
  
Joey: Man I'm so nervous about finding out.  
  
Rachel: Yeah you pacing all over the room gives me a headache watching you.  
  
Joey: (Stops pacing.) Oh sorry.  
  
(The Doctor walks in.)  
  
Doctor: So I guess you to want to find out about the babies sex.  
  
Rachel: Yes.  
  
Doctor: They are boys. Ok. I leave you so you can get dress and stuff.  
  
(Rachel sits up and the doctor walks out of the room.)  
  
Joey: (Walks towards the door.) I will be right back. (Stops the doc in the hallway.)  
  
Doctor: Oh I'm sorry. I forgot to mention you having twin boys.  
  
Joey: Yeah I think you did.  
  
(Walks back in the room. Rachel is dress.)  
  
Rachel: Hey Jo so how many baby boys are we having?  
  
Joey: Only two. We are having two babies. That is like twice as cool as having one.  
  
(Hugs Rachel. She looks upset.)  
  
Rachel: Yeah I guess.  
  
(Ross is watching TV with Jenny.)  
  
Ross: Do you have any idea want Joey really wants for Christmas.  
  
Jenny: I heard him tell mommy something about a J. But I only caught the second part of it.  
  
Ross: Well she can take care of that. And I'm talking from first hand knowledge.  
  
(There is a knock on the door. Ross gets up and opens it. Rachel walks in.)  
  
Ross: Are you ok Rach? You look tired.  
  
Rachel: Well you would tired too if you was carrying twin boys.  
  
Ross: Wow. You are having twins. That is great.  
  
Rachel: You would think it great.  
  
Ross: Are you upset over having twins?  
  
Rachel: No. Yes. No. It just it not the way I imaged it. I also figure I would have two kids. A boy and a girl with my husband.  
  
Ross: And what about her. (Points to Jenny in the living room.) Was she just a practice kid?  
  
Rachel: I know. I must sound like some horrible mother.  
  
Ross: Well then you have to give birth to both of them at the same time.  
  
(Rachel gets a horrified look on her face.)  
  
Ross: Maybe I should change the subject. So do you have any ideas for Christmas gifts for Joey?  
  
(Joey is painting the spare bedroom blue.)  
  
Joey: Man I wish I had. (Thinks to himself.) Ross and Chandler are not great works. Monica is a control freak. Phoebe would want to do something nutty and this is Rachel's Christmas gift. So I guess I want no one helping me.  
  
(Puts the brush down as Rachel calls his name.)  
  
Rachel: Honey I'm home with Jenny.  
  
(Joey runs out of the room and shuts the door.)  
  
Joey: Cool.  
  
(Rachel walks down the hallway towards him.)  
  
Rachel: Ok stop lying. You are turning the spare room into a nursery as my Christmas gift. I mean you had all those paint supplies in the garage this morning. Now you have paint on your hands.  
  
Joey: No. I'm painting a portait of you naked.  
  
Rachel: Then why is the paint blue?  
  
Joey: Ok I building a nursery. But it your Christmas gift so you cannot go in there until then.  
  
Rachel: I guess. Hey can I ask you something.  
  
Joey: Sure.  
  
Rachel: Is it weird that we having twins.  
  
Joey: Oh thank god you fell like that too. I was afraid to say anything.  
  
Rachel: Really.  
  
Joey: Yeah. I think that why I'm working so hard on the nursery. To like prove I'm not a bad father for having these feelings. But twins are cool.  
  
Rachel: But not three babies at once. That would be too much.  
  
(The phone rings from Joey's pocket.)  
  
Joey: Oh I Doc. What do you mean you made an error? We are having triplets (Rachel looks scared.) No Ross I'm not drunk, just freaking Rach out.  
  
(Rachel slaps him in the arm.)  
  
(Ross is in his office at work when he gets a phone call.)  
  
Ross: Good. Oh my friend is going to love it. Trust me if I can get a poster of the Knicks that the team has sign he love it. He does not care they suck. Bye.  
  
(Katie walks in his office.)  
  
Katie: You ready to go to lunch honey?  
  
Ross: Yes I'm. Hey I got the poster for Joey.  
  
Katie: Man I can only amazing how much time you spent on my gift giving how much you gave Joey.  
  
Ross: Yeah. (Looks weird.)  
  
Katie: You have not got me a gift yet.  
  
Ross: I knew I forgot someone.  
  
Katie: That ok I have not even started my shopping. Maybe would should skip lunch and go shopping.  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
(Joey is painting a crib inside the nursery. The room is set up for a boy with sports stuff on the wall.)  
  
Joey: There I'm done painting Jenny's old crib.  
  
(Looks away and leaves the room and goes downstairs. Rachel is sitting on the couch.)  
  
Rachel: Hey are you done working up there.  
  
Joey: I think. But don't we need two cribs for two babies?  
  
Rachel: Yeah.  
  
Joey: But I'm tired. Damn those twins.  
  
Rachel: You can do it tomorrow sweetie.  
  
Joey: I guess. (Sits down next to Rachel.) Does having two babies mean twice as many diapers?  
  
Rachel: Yes.  
  
Joey: Twice the feeding?  
  
Rachel: Yes.  
  
Joey: Twice the.  
  
Rachel: Yes. (Looks scared.) Damn it Joey you freak me out again.  
  
  
  
The End ~209 TOW The Christmas Without The Whole Gang~ Coming Soon 


	29. 209 TOW The Christmas Without The Whole ...

~209 TOW The Christmas Without The Whole Gang~  
  
(Joey and Ross are sitting on the couch at Joey's house. Joey looks upset.)  
  
Joey: I cannot believe we are not all going to be together for Christmas. I understand why Monica cannot come. But Phoebe going to France with her boyfriend Mike and Chandler being afraid of flying out here alone is too much.  
  
Ross: It is going to be ok Joey.  
  
Joey: Yeah because I got even.  
  
Ross: How did you get even with them?  
  
Joey: I drop the blue package with their gifts in them. Man anything broke.  
  
Ross: But Joey the blue package had my gifts in them.  
  
Joey: I know. This way I get even with them but still am seen in a good light.  
  
Ross: You know you could of just drop you package and blame it on the post office. They would of likely got money for the broken stuff.  
  
Joey: But mail fraud. It is lying. (Ross rolls his eyes.) Besides they do not need any more nerdy stuff from you. In fact I'm helping you out.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Joey, Rachel, Katie, Jenny, and Ross are sitting around opening Christmas gifts.)  
  
Joey: (Looking at the poster Ross gave him.) Oh this is great. I can hang out down in the basement.  
  
Rachel: (Looking at some earrings she got.) Thanks Joey. And you were just going to give me a book.  
  
Joey: How did you know that? (Stares at Ross.)  
  
Ross: You trick me.  
  
Joey: I knew you could not keep you mouth shut.  
  
(Rachel gets up.)  
  
Rachel: I'm going to get the cookies.  
  
(Rachel walks into the kitchen.)  
  
Joey: Hey thanks Katie for telling me he told you.  
  
(Ross stares at her.)  
  
Katie: Hey at least you return your gift and got something else. (Points to a rocking chair.)  
  
Ross: You said you wanted a rocking chair.  
  
Katie: To give to my grandma.  
  
(Rachel walks out of the kitchen with a tray of cookies. Joey grabs on and starts to eat.)  
  
Joey: (Splits it out.) No good.  
  
Rachel: But I followed the recipe Monica gave me.  
  
Joey: I wish she were here so she can make them.  
  
Ross: Maybe she gave you some for your gift. (Hand Joey a package. He opens it.)  
  
Joey: No it just some porn DVDs.  
  
Rachel: Why would Monica get you porn?  
  
Joey: Because he give her it too. It a little thing we do.  
  
Rachel: Oh thank god. I got a little worried when I found that gay porn in your dresser. I was worried it was yours or Chand. (Starts to cry.) Chandler is not here to make jokes about.  
  
(Jenny starts playing with her tricycle.)  
  
Ross: Come on Jenny. You can ride that in the front yawn.  
  
Katie: I will go with you.  
  
Ross: Hey remember that time we taught Phoebe how to ride a bike. Man I miss Phoebe.  
  
Katie: Maybe will put the skulls she gave Jenny on the tricycle to remember here.  
  
Ross: Ok.  
  
(Jenny, Katie, and Ross go out into the front yawn.)  
  
Rachel: (Starts kissing Joey.) Maybe I can give you another gift now.  
  
Joey: Unless it someone from New York I don't want it.  
  
(Ross is at Carol's apartment. Ben is showing off his new gifts.)  
  
Ben: Can you believe I got all this money? I mean 500 bucks from Uncle Joey.  
  
Ross: Joey gave you 500 bucks.  
  
Carol: (Walking out of the kitchen.) It is ok Ross. He told me how 500 is the least he spends on someone. I mean he brought me this 2000-dollar chair.  
  
Ross: What? He only got me a 500-dollar book.  
  
Carol: And how much did you spend on him?  
  
Ross: 24.95. (Shakes his head.) That is not even the point.  
  
Carol: And that 4000-dollar he got Jenny.  
  
Ross: That thing cost 4000 dollars? I need to go talk to him about this.  
  
(Ross leaves.)  
  
Ben: I did not even thank him for the new X-Box game.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are eating lunch when Ross walks into the kitchen.)  
  
Ross: Joey I need to talk with you right know.  
  
Rachel: So you just walking into our house know without knocking.  
  
Ross: I knock. Jenny let me in.  
  
Rachel: She not supposed to do that. (Gets up and walks into the living room.)  
  
Joey: Did she really open the door?  
  
Ross: No. I just want to talk with you alone.  
  
Joey: This is not about sex is it? I'm sick of getting you trips.  
  
Ross: When I ask you how to use the tire pump that is not code for anything us.  
  
Joey: Got you. (Winks at him.)  
  
Ross: I'm talking about all the money you spent on your Christmas gifts. I mean you cannot make anymore than a 200,000 dollars a year.  
  
Joey: I do not want to talk about this. And it is higher.  
  
Ross: 400,000? (Joey shakes no.) 500,000.  
  
Joey: Seven figures.  
  
Ross: A year.  
  
Joey: An episode.  
  
Ross: An episode! That means you make at least 24 millions a year.  
  
Joey: 30 million a year. And wait to the syndicate deal kicks in. I'm on the second highest rated show. And after the prom video show the first week of Feb watch out you CSI bastards.  
  
Ross: Man and Rachel have you guys still living here?  
  
Joey: She does not know.  
  
Ross: What?  
  
Joey: Look I know it may seem weird.  
  
Ross: Weird. Yeah that is one way to expend that you keep your millions from your wife.  
  
Joey: It not I plan on leaving her with it or anything. It just I do not want to become a snob. See I figure if we move into a big Hollywood house and have butlers and maids we will became to big for our friends.  
  
Ross: So she never asks you how much you make?  
  
Joey: I just say enough to live here. Which is true.  
  
Ross: You know in some strange way you just explain this to me so it does not sound so bad.  
  
Joey: So you will not tell Rachel.  
  
Ross: As long as you buy lunch for now on.  
  
Joey: Sure thing. Why do I care? I have millions.  
  
(Rachel walks back into the room.)  
  
Rachel: I have to give Jenny a time out. She claimed not to open the door for you. I do not want here to grow up thinking lying is ok.  
  
Joey: That is a good lesson for here.  
  
Ross: Yes. And also to always be open with people. (Joey kicks him from under the time.) Then again they may have a very good reason not to be open and honest with someone.  
  
(The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Oh hi Ms. I cannot make it to New York. Well I'm glad baby Joey threw up on you. Yeah I like you porn too Monica.  
  
Rachel: What a great gift to exchange on the birth of Christ.  
  
Ross: Well it better then ties.  
  
Rachel: You parents gave you ties again this year?  
  
Ross: Ten years straight.  
  
Joey: Sure Rachel is right here.  
  
Rachel: (Gets the phone from Joey.) Yes Monica.  
  
(Leaves the room.)  
  
Ross: Well I should be going. I promise Katie I am home in about ten minutes and I do not have millions in the bank to smooth it over with.  
  
(Ross leaves. Rachel comes back in the room.)  
  
Rachel: Oh Joey you would not believe want Monica just told me. It is the funniest thing.  
  
Joey: I do not fill like another Phoebe got arrest story.  
  
Rachel: No not that. She read an article about how much the stars of Friends Like Us make.  
  
Joey: (Very scared.) Well you know those tabloids. Full of lies.  
  
Rachel: It was EW magazine.  
  
Joey: Really.  
  
Rachel: Why did you not going to make 30 million dollars this year.  
  
Joey: Surprise. It another Christmas gift.  
  
Rachel: Get out.  
  
Joey: Ok I leave you alone to get over the shock.  
  
Rachel: No. I mean get out of the house.  
  
Joey: What?  
  
Rachel: I say leave now. I do not even want to look at you.  
  
Joey: But?  
  
Rachel: I'm going upstairs. I will be back down in five minutes. You better be out of here.  
  
(Rachel leaves the room crying. Joey just sits their looking stun.)  
  
  
  
The End ~210 TOW Joey Moves in with Ross~ Coming Soon. 


	30. 210 TOW Joey Moves In With Ross

~210 TOW Joey Moves In With Ross~  
  
(There is a knock on Ross's door. He answers it.)  
  
Ross: Joey what are you doing here, crying.  
  
Joey: She kicked me out of the house.  
  
Ross: Why?  
  
Joey: Because she found out about all my money. You dumb sister told her.  
  
Ross: How did Monica find out about this?  
  
Joey: She read it in EW magazine. I should of knew providing quotas for them will come back to bite me in the butt.  
  
Ross: Oh that must suck. Goodbye.  
  
(Ross goes to shut the door but Joey stops him.)  
  
Joey: Dude can I stay here. I have nowhere to go.  
  
Ross: Fine but this better smooth over quickly.  
  
Joey: Do not worry. I sure this be over in a couple of hours.  
  
(Ten days later. Joey is sitting on Ross's couch in a pink robe. Katie and Ross are standing in a corner.)  
  
Katie: When the hell is he leaving? He can afford to like into a hotel. Besides he is wearing my robe.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Ross and Rachel are at the park watching Jenny play.)  
  
Ross: Will you take him back already?  
  
Rachel: I'm not taking him back. He was hiding millions of dollars for me. He was going to leave me for some young chick to spend his money on.  
  
Ross: Rachel he was not planning to leave you. Would you at least talk with him?  
  
Rachel: No. And besides I have more things to worry about like a doctor's visit today.  
  
Ross: Ok. Hey I have to go make a phone call.  
  
Rachel: You not going to call Joey are you?  
  
Ross: No. (Walks away.) Well I'm known than you made me think about it.  
  
(Rachel is sitting on the exam table as Joey comes in.)  
  
Rachel: What the hell are you doing here?  
  
Joey: Look you have to allow me to be here. Those are my kids in you.  
  
Rachel: Fine but you can't talk to me.  
  
Joey: Ok. (Rachel points at him.) Hey air I have to tell you something. You see my wife thinks that I keep the fact I made millions from her for a bad reason.  
  
Rachel: Joey I can hear you.  
  
Joey: Will you shut up? I'm telling the air a story. (The doctor walks in.)  
  
(Ross is watching TV with Jenny.)  
  
Ross: You like Days Of Our Lives don't you. Just like you mom.  
  
Jenny: Bo and Hope.  
  
Ross: Yes they are the "super couple" on the show. Oh there is Victor. He use to be huge porn and drug lord but turn good. Rumor has it that when his real life daughter got a part on a TV show that turns him good. Man that daughter of his is hot.  
  
Jenny: Just like me?  
  
Ross: Yes but in a totally different way. (Shakes his head.) Anyone I do not really care for soap operas.  
  
(A gun shot off on TV.)  
  
Jenny: He was hit.  
  
Ross: Oh my god. It is Stefano.  
  
Jenny: He shot Victor.  
  
Ross: You mommy is not going to like this. The Phoenix has risen.  
  
(Rachel is sitting up. Her exam is over.)  
  
Rachel: I'm going to leave now. I do not want you to follow me.  
  
Joey: But I have not finish my story to the air.  
  
Rachel: Joey I do not want to talk with you ok?  
  
Joey: Fine. I hope it did not come down to this.  
  
(Joey handcuffs Rachel and Himself together.)  
  
Rachel: Oh my god Joey.  
  
Joey: Now you have to listen to me. Look I did not want to live like someone who.  
  
(Rachel cell phone rings.)  
  
Rachel: Can you please get that for me?  
  
Joey: Ok. (Grabs it out his purse.) Hello. Oh hi Ross. Sure thing. (Hands the phone to Rachel.) It is for you.  
  
Rachel: You think? What! Stefano shot Victor. I did not even know he was coming back. (Starts to cry.) You know how much I love Victor. Yeah I always wish he were my father. Oh he better not die. Ok bye. (Hangs up.) No. I forgot to tell him you handcuff us together.  
  
(Joey grabs the phone.)  
  
Joey: Sorry.  
  
(Ross and Jenny are still watching TV.)  
  
Ross: Bo has no idea Stefano was the one to shot his father.  
  
Jenny: His Daddy.  
  
Ross: No. Papa Shawn is his daddy. He raised him.  
  
Jenny: So Joey is my daddy she he raises me.  
  
Ross: (Looks stun.) No I'm you daddy and father. Joey is just some guy married to your mommy.  
  
Jenny: But we live in the same house.  
  
Ross: That does not matter. I mean Bo did not even find out to he grow up that Victor was his real father.  
  
Jenny: Oh. Daddy where is Joey coming back from New York?  
  
Ross: Hopefully soon honey.  
  
(Rachel and Joey are walking real close to not show they handcuff together.)  
  
Rachel: I cannot believe you forgot the key.  
  
Joey: There in the dress in our bedroom.  
  
Rachel: Mine bedroom. That whole room is now mine.  
  
(They open the door to the house.)  
  
Joey: Look can I explain why I did not tell you.  
  
Rachel: Fine.  
  
(They sit down on the bottom of the stairs.)  
  
Joey: You see I was afraid that you would want to move into a big mansion and hire a bunch of butlers, maid, and nannies.  
  
Rachel: And what is wrong with that?  
  
Joey: Sure it fine for some semi rich girl from Long Island. But I'm from Queens and it would be a slap at my family.  
  
Rachel: Oh. And you thinking you would be turning you back on them?  
  
Joey: Yes. But I guess you want to live a snob so 35 room house here we come.  
  
Rachel: I do not want that, I guess.  
  
Joey: Look I'm not saying we cannot have some stuff. I was thinking of renting a penthouse in New York.  
  
Rachel: Oh that would be nice.  
  
Joey: And I guess if you want a maid to come by twice a week that would be ok. Plus we will like need one nanny for the twins.  
  
Rachel: And my new beamer.  
  
Joey: Let me think about that. (They start kissing.)  
  
Rachel: You know you been a bad boy. You should be punished for you actions.  
  
Joey: In the words of Janice, Oh my god.  
  
Rachel: That is a turn off you know.  
  
(Later Ross walks in the house with Jenny. Rachel is sitting on the couch.)  
  
Ross: Is Joey back from his trip let? (Points to Jenny.)  
  
Rachel: Oh yes. But he is laying dead in bed.  
  
(Joey screams from upstairs.)  
  
Joey: Ok Rach. We will get you a new beamer. Just come unlock me from the bedpost.  
  
Rachel: Sure thing.  
  
Ross: Hey I got you the tape of today's Days. I did not even tell you want Sami did.  
  
Rachel: Honey I think you should be punish for another hour. Maybe even less if I fast forward through the commercials.  
  
  
  
The End ~211 TOW Rachel's Mom Visits~ 


	31. 211 TOW Rachel Mom Visits

~211 TOW Rachel Mom Visits~  
  
(Rachel is sitting on the couch with her feet on the table. Joey is dusting the table.)  
  
Joey: Is this clean enough for you? (Looks upset.)  
  
Rachel: For me, but not for my mom.  
  
Joey: Lift you feet up.  
  
(She lifts her feet and he cleans off the spot. She puts the back on the table.)  
  
Rachel: Did you get the bathroom done?  
  
Joey: Anything but the toilets. (Rachel stares at him.) But I'm a TV star.  
  
Rachel: You do not think my mom will use the toilet?  
  
Joey: Oh god. Now I have image in my head if you mom on the toilet.  
  
Rachel: Just get them clean. I don't forget about the kitchen.  
  
Joey: The kitchen. (Thinks hard.)  
  
Rachel: You have not got the kitchen let?  
  
Joey: Fine. I will call the maid service.  
  
Rachel: No. My mom is from Long Island. She can tell if a maid cleaned.  
  
Joey: Can see tell if a 5 month pregnant women cleaned?  
  
Rachel: Maid it is.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Katie, Rachel's Mom, Ross, Joey, Ben, Jenny, and Rachel are eating at Ross's house.)  
  
Mom: So you got married again Ross?  
  
Ross: Yes. I introduce you to Katie already.  
  
Mom: (Shakes her head.) Sorry. But I thought you already were married to a Katie.  
  
Ross: No. It is Carol, Emily, Rachel, and now Katie.  
  
Mom: Was there a Susan.  
  
Ross: No. She was "married" to Carol. But they broke up and now Carol dates men.  
  
Rachel: Can we change the subject Mom?  
  
Mom: No we can't.  
  
Ross: Kill me. (Hands Joey a knife.)  
  
Mom: Well how us I'm suppose to tell you Rachel that I'm getting married if I cannot talk about the subject.  
  
Rachel: No kill me Joey.  
  
(Joey keeps looking back and fourth between both of them.)  
  
Joey: Who wants to die first?  
  
Rachel: You are getting married?  
  
Katie: Maybe we should all leave them alone.  
  
Ross: Are you nuts? (Rachel stares at him.) We should all leave the house.  
  
(Everyone but Rachel and her mom leaves.)  
  
Mom: Yeah. Next week out her in L.A.  
  
Rachel: What? How is that supposed to happen?  
  
Mom: First off he is off booking a place right now. He is a rich lawyer.  
  
Rachel: You mean he is in town.  
  
Mom: Yeah. He is going to stay with me at your house. And it is going to be small affair. Your sisters are flying out in a few days and all he inviting is his daughter Elizabeth.  
  
Rachel: What is the guy's name?  
  
Mom: Paul.  
  
Rachel: I know a rich lawyer name Paul with a daughter name Liz.  
  
(Ross comes running in the house.)  
  
Ross: You would not believe who is outside.  
  
Rachel: Elizabeth dad Paul.  
  
Ross: How did you know?  
  
Mom: He is the guy I'm marrying.  
  
Ross: Wow. Hey his daughter Elizabeth is not coming out here is she. That might be weird since I dated her. (Rachel rolls her eyes.) Oh and it going to be so weird for you Rach since you dated and had sex with him.  
  
(Joey, Paul, and Ross are watching TV in Joey's living room.)  
  
Ross: So when is Elizabeth going to be in town?  
  
Paul: Why. You want to date her again?  
  
Ross: No I'm married.  
  
Joey: They have been out buying stuff for the wedding for three hours already. How long does it take?  
  
Ross: I'm afraid of what stupid looking flower girl dress they going to put on her.  
  
Paul: Why do you care want dress she puts Jenny in? Joey is the father.  
  
Ross: No he is.  
  
Paul: What is it with you? Stay away from my baby girl or I will kick your butt.  
  
(There is a knock on the door. Joey stands up.)  
  
Joey: Will you two calm down? (He opens the door. Rachel's sisters and Elizabeth is standing there.) Oh I forgot they were coming.  
  
Jill: Oh hi Joey.  
  
Joey: What are you gals doing here? I thought you would not suppose to come out to next week.  
  
Amy: That is because our Mom does want us to help out on the wedding.  
  
Jill: But we are here to show here.  
  
Paul: Then why are you here early Liz?  
  
Elizabeth: You know I'm afraid to fly alone.  
  
Ross: Hi anyone. So well are you guys are going to stay.  
  
Jill: Here I guess.  
  
Joey: Are you pushing for the hotel suite?  
  
Amy: At the Hollywood Hilton.  
  
Joey: Better than you guys staying here. (Stares at Amy.) I swear you remind me someone else. There was this girl at meet and slept in Buffalo six years ago name Suzy Lane.  
  
Amy: Oh my god that is my fake name I use. And I was in Buffalo six years ago and slept with three or four guys giving that name. But no one name Joey.  
  
Joey: What about Jason or Jacob? Those where two names I were using at the time.  
  
Amy: I think both.  
  
Jill: Rachel is going to love this. Remember before Ross announce he was gay she was so upset that he tried to sleep with me. (Everyone stares at her.) Well that the story going around Long Island.  
  
Joey: So lets get your gals to the hotel.  
  
Jill: I want my own suite.  
  
Joey: Fine if it would shut you up.  
  
(Later Rachel, Her Mom, Jenny, Ross, Joey, Paul, and Katie are eating dinner.)  
  
Mom: So did you get the girls settled into their Hotel room?  
  
Joey: I have seen to it personally.  
  
Mom: Good. I just hope Amy and Jill behave themselves and not chase guys around all week. I mean I heard stories from Jill about Amy using a fake name.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. What was it Suzy Lane. Pretty stupid fake name if you ask me.  
  
(Everyone laughs but Amy.)  
  
Joey: I guess.  
  
Rachel: Hey didn't you once had a fling six years ago in Buffalo with a blond hair girl. Oh my god you two (Points at Joey and Amy.)  
  
Amy: But we totally forgot about it to a couple of hours ago.  
  
Joey: And it was years before we start going out. Besides I use my fake name Jason.  
  
Ross: You see. It like they never had sex together.  
  
Rachel: Like we was on a pre break.  
  
Ross: You can stay that.  
  
(Joey slaps him the back of the head.)  
  
Amy: Look Rach if there is anything I can do to make this up with let me now.  
  
Joey: Come on Rachel it really no big deal.  
  
(Paul, Katie, Jill, and Rachel's mom have left the room. Ross picks up Jenny and leaves the room as while.)  
  
Amy: Yeah. You slept with Ross close to 300 times, or so it he claims.  
  
Rachel: No he really kept count. But yet me ask you two this. If I did not bring up Suzy Lane would of you told me.  
  
Joey: Of course I would.  
  
Amy: (Laughing.) God no. I mean I still have not told you about Chip from High school.  
  
Rachel: That is it. (Rachel puts her fist up. Joey holds her back.) Let me go.  
  
Joey: I cannot believe I'm stopping a catfight, but honey you are pregnant.  
  
Rachel: You right.  
  
Joey: And if I recall she rough.  
  
  
  
The End ~212 TOW The Uncomfortable Wedding~ 


	32. 212 TOW The Uncomfortable Wedding

~212 TOW The Uncomfortable Wedding~  
  
(Everyone is at a nice restaurant for the pre wedding dinner.)  
  
Rachel: Amy if you do not mine I would like to speak first.  
  
Amy: Well I guess you have to do something before me.  
  
Joey: Would you guys stop this already? It not like you was the only two to have the Joey Love.  
  
Ross: You do you we can are hear you right?  
  
Mom: Would someone speak already?  
  
(Rachel stands up.)  
  
Rachel: I don't have a big speech plan, so I will just say this. Paul if you break my Moms heart I will have you killed. (Everyone stares at her.)  
  
Jill: What the hell?  
  
Rachel: It was suppose to be a joke.  
  
Jill: Oh thank god. That is my speech.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Rachel and Joey are making out in bed.)  
  
Rachel: I'm sorry about being in such a bad mood lately. But you would understand if you found out I slept with one of your sister's years ago.  
  
Joey: I'm do not believe I'm saying that I would find to women sleeping together bad but I guess I would. I mean it like you mom marrying an ex boyfriend of yours.  
  
Rachel: (Stops kissing his neck.) Why the hell did you say that? (Gets out of bed.) You freak me out.  
  
Joey: Where are you going?  
  
Rachel: I cannot do it now.  
  
Joey: Come on. You can think about Amy and I having sex if it helps.  
  
(Ross walks out of kitchen late at night. Paul is watching TV.)  
  
Ross: It is like two in the morning and you getting married in 12 hours for now. Should you be sleeping and getting rest for the big day.  
  
Paul: Don't tell me when to sleep.  
  
Ross: Are you getting cold feet about getting married?  
  
Paul: A little. It is the age difference. I mean she is seven years older than me.  
  
(Ross stares at him.)  
  
Ross: Paul she is eleven. (Thinks for a second.) Months older than my mom.  
  
Paul: I'm just afraid that she going die before me. I mean I already lost on wife and I do want to go through that again.  
  
Ross: Have you talk to her about this?  
  
Paul: God no. I do not want to freak her out.  
  
Ross: But you are still going to marry her right?  
  
Paul: Yeah, because I'm in love with her.  
  
Ross: Then don't worry about it. Just enjoy the time you spend with her.  
  
Paul: Oh you such a girl.  
  
(Rachel, Amy, and Jill are waiting in a room.)  
  
Rachel: Would you stop pacing around Jill?  
  
Jill: I sorry but this weird. Mom is marrying someone who is not daddy.  
  
Rachel: Does he even know about this?  
  
Amy: Yeah. He seems not to be upset about it but you can tell he is.  
  
Jill: He has been working on his boat a lot.  
  
Amy: Even more than the time he caught you having sex on their bed.  
  
Rachel: That was you he caught.  
  
Amy: No way. I remember he caught two of us.  
  
Rachel: Jill the next year.  
  
Mom: (Walks through a side door in her dress.) You are three got caught. I think it was a club you are started.  
  
Rachel: Oh the lets see who can have the most sex on Mom and Dad's bed.  
  
Jill: Six times.  
  
Amy: Only five.  
  
Rachel: Eleven times. (Smiles.) I won. You are own me ten bucks.  
  
Jill: You look great mom. (Kisses her on the cheek.)  
  
Rachel: More importantly you look happy.  
  
(Joey, Ross, and Paul are standing outside.)  
  
Paul: So who is going to be my best man and who is going to walk her down aisle?  
  
Joey: I'm going to walk her down the aisle. I mean I did kiss her once.  
  
Paul: What? You kissed her?  
  
Joey: It was not big deal. We were throwing two different.  
  
Paul: I don't what details. It is bad enough my best man can image my daughter naked.  
  
Ross: Yes I can. (Smiles.)  
  
(Katie walks behind him.)  
  
Katie: Oh are you imaging me naked again.  
  
Ross: Yeah I'm Elizabeth. (Shakes his head.) I mean Katie.  
  
Paul: Just do not screw up my wedding for me.  
  
(Katie and Elizabeth are sitting in the hall. Paul is standing up front with the Minster. )  
  
Katie: Are we the only two people sitting in the hall?  
  
Elizabeth: I know. I mean I'm the only member of the Groom's family here at the wedding.  
  
(Jenny walks down the aisle throwing flowers anyway including in her hair. Ross and the Green sisters walking down the aisle follow this. Jill is holding arms with Amy.)  
  
Jill: Why can't I hold arms with Ross?  
  
Ross: Because you still think I'm gay.  
  
Jill: You turn me down for sex. I mean look at me.  
  
Rachel: Would you two shut up?  
  
Amy: Is it me or is this wedding really uncomfortable.  
  
Ross: Yeah it is.  
  
(Here comes the bride plays as Joey walks his Mother-In-Law down the aisle. Once he gets up front he walks over and stands by Ross.)  
  
Joey: Man is this wedding really uncomfortable.  
  
Ross: Yeah but they look so happy, so I guess that want counts.  
  
(Later anyone is eating at a fancy restaurant.)  
  
Rachel: (Stands up.) I will like to make a speech.  
  
Jill: I cannot believe Rachel was picked to give the speech.  
  
Amy: I can't believe you suggested that Joey choose who does it.  
  
Ross: Do not be so hard on Jill. I mean how do she know he would pick his wife.  
  
Rachel: Would anyone shut up so I can give the speech already? (Anyone looks scared.) I have to admit at when I first found out that Mom was getting married I was not thrilled. After all any wishes that they parents would be together.  
  
Jill: Oh will you hurry up already?  
  
Rachel: But after seeing her happy she is and given that she gave birth to things that all not possible human I guess it is ok that she married an ex- boyfriend of mines who is eleven years younger than her. (Her mom puts up seven figures.) And I guess seven months.  
  
Joey: Great job honey. (He claps while anyone else stares.)  
  
Amy: (Stands up.) You want a speech. I give you a speech.  
  
(Ten minutes have passed. Anyone but Rachel is crying.)  
  
Amy: Thank you.  
  
Ross: That was the greatest speech ever.  
  
(Everyone hugs Amy including Rachel.)  
  
Rachel: I guess it was ok.  
  
Elizabeth: Well I guess it would be pointless for me to give my speech after that.  
  
Paul: Yeah honey.  
  
Mom: Well I guess we better get going. Rachel we like to thank Joey and you for the limo and hotel suit for tonight.  
  
Paul: And the honeymoon in Japan. Weird place for a honeymoon but we have never been there.  
  
Joey: Japan was all Jill's idea.  
  
(Later Rachel and Joey are watching TV.)  
  
Rachel: Japan for a honeymoon. What was Jill thinking?  
  
Joey: I do not know. I mean I brought them tickets for Hawaii but they went missing. So when I went back today to get new tickets it with all they had was Japan or Mexico City.  
  
Rachel: How did you use plane tickets?  
  
Joey: I do not know. I gave them to Amy.  
  
(Amy and some dude are sitting a beach in Hawaii.)  
  
Guy: Man Suzy this was great of you to take me to Hawaii. I have never been. It is so cool to meet another New Yorker in L.A like this.  
  
Amy: But you will call me when we get back right Kevin?  
  
Kevin: Of course I will. (His cell phone rings.) Hello? Can you hold on a second? Hey Suzy can you go give us a couple of sodas. This is a business call.  
  
Amy: Ok.  
  
(Amy walks away.)  
  
Kevin: Oh hi sweetie. It is a topically business meeting. Well they reason why the hotel does not have a Jack Silver at the hotel is they like us to use fake names. What is my fake name? (Pulls the phone away from him.) Honey I can't hear you, just call me on my cell if you need anything.  
  
  
  
The End ~213 TOW Ben's Broken Arm~ Coming Soon 


	33. 213 TOW Ben's Broken Arm

~213 TOW Ben's Broken Arm~  
  
(Ross and Joey are sitting in a doctor's office.)  
  
Joey: How is this my fault?  
  
Ross: You said it was ok for him to jump the ramp on his bike?  
  
Joey: Oh come on it was a small ramp. It is the fact that he has your genes.  
  
Ross: The teenagers do not even jump that ramp. It was the biggest one at the park.  
  
(Carol comes running in as Ben walks out with the doctor. He has a soft cast on his arm.)  
  
Carol: Ben are you ok? (He nods.) What the hell did you do to him?  
  
(Points at Ross.)  
  
Ross: Hey it was not my fault. Joey took him to the park.  
  
Carol: And you allow him to go without an adult.  
  
Ross: I do not know. He wanted to spend time alone to bond with him. I mean with his to boys coming.  
  
Joey: What you mean without an adult?  
  
Ross: The doctor said he has to come in Tuesday to get a hard cast. He is going to miss the start of little league because of this. (Looks at Joey.) Man I hope you get better at this or you kids don't stand a chance.  
  
Joey: What do you mean? (Joey looks upset.)  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Joey, Jenny, and Rachel are eating dinner.)  
  
Rachel: So I had to layoff about a dozen people in our San Francisco office today.  
  
Joey: That is nice. (Playing with his food.)  
  
Rachel: No it is not. That was the first time I had to layoff anyone. What is wrong with you?  
  
Joey: Ross basically said I would not make a good father.  
  
Rachel: He said that? Oh I'm going to kick his ass.  
  
(There is a knock on the door.)  
  
Rachel: There he is now.  
  
(Rachel gets up and opens the door. She smacks him across the face.)  
  
Ross: What. Did I say we were on a break?  
  
Rachel: You told Joey he is going to be a bad dad.  
  
Ross: Oh I did not  
  
Rachel: They why would he say that.  
  
Ross: I have no idea. I mean we got into a fight at the doctor's office about what happen with Ben.  
  
Rachel: Did you say any thing like that?  
  
Ross: (Thinking.) I did say something about he better get but at taking care of kids or your guys will not stand a chance. But I was only trying to help him.  
  
Rachel: Well you go in the kitchen and say you sorry.  
  
Ross: Fine.  
  
(Ross walks into the kitchen as the phone rings. Rachel picks it up.)  
  
Rachel: Hello. Why are you crying? Well I'm sorry but I had to lay you off but others work with the company for so long. Yes I understand it was your first real job but you can always get another one. Well you too can go to hell. (Slams the phone down.)  
  
(Ross walks into the kitchen.)  
  
Jenny: Hi daddy.  
  
Ross: Hi Jenny.  
  
Joey: Oh it you.  
  
Ross: Jenny can you do in the living room with you mommy. I need to talk to Joey alone for a minute.  
  
Jenny: Ok.  
  
(Ross helps her out of the chair and she walks out of the kitchen.)  
  
Ross: Look Joey I'm sorry for want a said earlier at the doctor's office.  
  
Joey: Yeah right.  
  
Ross: No I really did not mean want I said.  
  
Joey: Oh want did you mean. That they should pray that they do not get Rachel's nose?  
  
Ross: Look I'm trying to be nice here but you broke my son's arm so you can go to hell.  
  
(Ross storms out as Rachel walks back into the kitchen.)  
  
Rachel: What was that all about? Did you lay him off?  
  
(Rachel is leading a meeting at work.)  
  
Rachel: I like to say that the new winter line is selling better than expect and that fourth and first quarter overall sales should be 15% higher than last year. That is it for today. (Everyone gets up.) Oh one more thing. I would be starting my leave next month so Cindy you all in charge.  
  
Cindy: (Looks happy.) You own me ten bucks Jim.  
  
Jim: Fine. (Hands it to her.) I think this is a sexiest move.  
  
Rachel: Were you the one told blow the deal with the Gap?  
  
Jim: Yeah.  
  
(Everyone leaves the room. Rachel cell phone rings.)  
  
Rachel: Oh hi honey. Sure I guess we can go out tonight. Jenny is staying with Ross and Katie tonight so we can maybe go to a movie after dinner. (Laughs.) I not having phone sex with you at work again. I got caught last time. (Starts to blush.) Oh do not say that. Ok.  
  
(Ten minutes later Rachel walks out of the room. Jim is standing there.)  
  
Jim: (Smiling.) Was that a business or private call?  
  
Rachel: How much did you hear.  
  
Jim: Enough to sue for making this an uncomfortable work place.  
  
Rachel: So you will be in charge when I'm gone.  
  
Jim: Good old blackmail.  
  
(Ross is reading Jenny a book.)  
  
Ross: So daddy Ross save Jenny from the big T-Rex and return her to the cave safe and sound.  
  
Jenny: (Sleepy.) Can I go to bed now?  
  
Ross: I will be up in a minute honey to tuck you in.  
  
(Jenny runs upstairs. Ross turns to the front page of the book. It says to Ross from Joey.)  
  
Ross: I remember where Joey gave me this book.  
  
(Flashback to Joey, Rachel, and Ross in Ross and Rachel's apartment. Jenny has just come home for the first time.)  
  
Rachel: (Breastfeeding Her.) She looks so cute.  
  
Ross: Well when you one of those (Points to her breast.) to anything it looks cute.  
  
Rachel: I'm going to show her the nursery. When are the others coming over Joey?  
  
Joey: In a few a little be. They wanted to shower and change. In fact I'm going to go do that in right now.  
  
Rachel: Ok. (Rachel walks into the nursery.)  
  
Joey: Hey Ross I got you a present. (Hands him a gift bag.) I'm not quite sure want to get a friend who's kid mother you plan on doing in a couple of months.  
  
(Ross opens and looks at the book.)  
  
Ross: Oh my god this is so cool. How did you get a book made like this?  
  
Joey: There is a bookstore in Queens that does it.  
  
Ross: (Flipping through the book.) Where did you get a picture of my head that they use in here?  
  
Joey: From that picture over there with Ben and you in it.  
  
(Points to a picture inside fame on a desk. Ross picks it up. It has his head cut out.)  
  
Ross: You know Joey you could of have just ask for one. (Flashback ends. Ross puts the book down and walks upstairs.)  
  
(Joey is in the food line at the movies. He sees Ben and Carol walking out of a movie.)  
  
Carol: Oh hi Joey.  
  
Joey: (Sad to see them.) Hi you two.  
  
Ben: Hey Uncle Joey want is wrong?  
  
Joey: You dad and I had a fight over you broken arm.  
  
Ben: Well I'm sorry you guys are fighting over me.  
  
Joey: It is ok Ben it was my fault. I should have not allowed you to jump that ramp. I just bad with kids I guess.  
  
Carol: Joey don't beat yourself up over this. You are going to make a great father.  
  
Joey: You really think so. (Joey looks happy.)  
  
(Rachel comes running out.)  
  
Rachel: Joey hurry up. The movie is almost over. That does not leave much time for making out. (Sees Carol and Ben.) Oh hi Carol. How is your arm doing Ben?  
  
(Joey is pounding on Ross's door.)  
  
Ross: (Opens the door.) Oh dude I'm glad you here. I'm so sorry about what I said.  
  
Joey: That ok man.  
  
(They hug.)  
  
Ross: Well I would love to stay and hug you more but Katie is waiting upstairs.  
  
Joey: Oh that what is poking me?  
  
  
  
The End ~214 TOW The Prom Video Episode~ 


	34. 214 TOW The Prom Video Episode

~214 TOW The Prom Video Episode~  
  
(Ross, Katie, Jenny, Joey, and Rachel are sitting around watching Friends Like Us.)  
  
Ross: I do not get why they did not make Monica fat right there.  
  
Joey: Oh the producers hate fat jokes.  
  
Katie: You really went upstairs to get dress? (Looking at Ross.)  
  
Rachel: And there is coming down the stairs.  
  
Katie: I cannot believe you really did that in real life.  
  
Joey: And it makes for great TV. They say I might get an Emmy for this.  
  
(Rachel and Ross are looking at each other.)  
  
Rachel: Yeah that is great.  
  
(Just then the power go out.)  
  
Jenny: So what happens after see she that.  
  
(They power comes back on. Ross and Rachel are kissing.)  
  
Joey: They kiss Jenny.  
  
(Ross and Rachel look around the room.)  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Katie storms out the door.)  
  
Ross: Oh no. (Runs out the door.)  
  
Rachel: Hey sweetie you going to say anything?  
  
Joey: I'm going down the basement.  
  
Rachel: Ok. I will put Jenny to bed then come down ok?  
  
Joey: Fine.  
  
(Katie is look in the bedroom. Ross is knocking on the door.)  
  
Ross: Honey can we talk about this?  
  
Katie: What is there to talk about? You kiss you ex-girlfriend.  
  
Ross: But I was not thinking like it is 2004.  
  
Katie: That had to be the lamest excuse ever.  
  
(She opens the door and allows him in.)  
  
Ross: Let me explain it to you.  
  
Katie: Ok (Folds her arms). Go ahead.  
  
Ross: When I saw that episode I went back in time. I became that guy again.  
  
Katie: Huh? What do you mean?  
  
Ross: I became that guy in high school who would do anything for Rachel.  
  
Katie: You fell in love with her again?  
  
Ross: Yes. No. I mean I loved being that guy.  
  
Katie: But you still that guy. (Starts to run her hand through his hair.) It just now you are the guy who will do anything for me.  
  
Ross: Yes. (Ross nods.)  
  
Katie: (Slaps him in the head.) And you only kiss me. (They start to kiss.)  
  
(Joey is play darts down in the basement. Rachel carries him down a sandwich.)  
  
Rachel: Who what's a meatball sandwich?  
  
Joey: You cannot bride me with sandwiches, (Rachel wiggles it under him.) for me to forgive you.  
  
Rachel: But it has extra ball.  
  
Joey: I'm not going to forgive you, but. (Grabs and starts to eat it.)  
  
Rachel: Look I'm so sorry at want happen. (Joey turns away from her.) I just got caught up in the moment. Like when you were watching Die Hard in the bedroom last week and start jumping up and down on the bed.  
  
Joey: Yeah. (Smiles and turns around.)  
  
Rachel: Well that what happen with me. When I saw the show I went back in time to the first time I saw the prom video.  
  
Joey: Oh. So it was like kissing him all over again.  
  
Rachel: Yeah. I mean there always going to be part of me that loves that guy. I mean he was a guy who would do anything for me. The only one I know. (Joey slams the plate down and storms upstairs.) Did I say that out loud?  
  
(Ross and Rachel are watching Jenny play in the park.)  
  
Ross: How could you say that?  
  
Rachel: I don't know.  
  
Ross: I mean I sort of understand. I loved being that guy, and a part of me always will. But now most of me what to be that guy to Katie.  
  
Rachel: And Joey is that guy. I know he would do anything for me, expect for sleeping with the copy shop girl.  
  
Ross: Hey.  
  
(Jenny comes running up to them.)  
  
Jenny: I think someone is spying on us over there. (Points behind Ross and Rachel. They turn around.) See.  
  
Ross: Oh my go it is Joey.  
  
(Joey tries to hide behind a tree.)  
  
Rachel: Joey!  
  
Joey: (Comes out from behind the tree.) Oh hi Rachel. I did not see you guys.  
  
Ross: Hey Jo. (Joey stares at him.) So it is a nice day to walk in the park?  
  
Rachel: Come on Joey. We know you were spying on us Jo.  
  
Joey: Well how do I know if you two can keep your hands off each other?  
  
Ross: Ok Joey so you do not trust us now?  
  
Joey: Yes.  
  
Rachel: The kiss meant nothing Joey.  
  
Ross: She right. Nothing. Here I show you. (He kisses Rachel.) See nothing. (Joey grabs him.) Like to repeat something stupid to get your butt kick.  
  
Rachel: (Grabs Joey arm.) Will you calm down Joey?  
  
Joey: (Lets go.) Ok. I got to get going. They interviewing for ET Tonight.  
  
Ross: Joey you know we do not want each other right?  
  
Rachel: Yeah you not jealous of us are you?  
  
Joey: Well I would like to be in the prom video but what you going to do? (Joey walks away.)  
  
(Rachel, Ross, Jenny, and Katie are eating dinner at Ross's house.)  
  
Rachel: (Playing with her food.) What I'm going to do?  
  
Katie: Just heat the food up in the microwave.  
  
(Rachel looks up at her.)  
  
Ross: I think she talking about Joey.  
  
Rachel: I wish there was something he can do that compares to what you did.  
  
Katie: Maybe you should tell him is the one guy who never hurt you like Ross did.  
  
Rachel: Yeah Joey would never cheat on me.  
  
Jenny: Mommy.  
  
Rachel: Not now honey, mommy is thinking.  
  
Jenny: But Mommy won't Daddy and you on a break?  
  
Ross: (Ross laughs.) That is my baby girl.  
  
(Rachel walks onto the front porch. There is a note on the front door.)  
  
Rachel: (Reading.) Go to the backyard? (She unlocks the door and walks inside.) Go to the backyard. What the hell does he mean? (She walks into the kitchen. The grass sliding door is drape.) What the hell did he do?  
  
(She opens the drapes. Joey is standing back there next to a table for two. He is dress up in a tux.)  
  
Rachel: (Opens the door.) Oh my god.  
  
Joey: I do not know much, but want I do know is you're my princess.  
  
Rachel: Oh I'm your princess. And of course you're my prince.  
  
(She walks over to him. They start making out on the table. Later we see them getting dress.)  
  
Rachel: Well I guess we need to cook another dinner. (Likes some of his face.)  
  
Joey: Oh we can order something that will be in 30 minutes or less.  
  
Rachel: Ok. I will go order the pizzas.  
  
Joey: No that ok Princess. Allow him to do it. (Points to a waiter in the backyard.) I mean he should not be pay for watching us have sex.  
  
  
  
The End ~915 TOW Jenny is an TV Star~ 


	35. 215 TOW Jenny Is A TV Star

~215 TOW Jenny Is A TV Star~  
  
(Rachel and Jenny are watching Joey shoot a screen with a little girl.)  
  
Girl: Would you like to by a candy (She messing up saying it.) bar sir?  
  
Bob: Cut. Can we find a little girl on can say candy?  
  
Jenny: Candy bar.  
  
Rachel: We have one over her? (Points to Jenny.)  
  
Bob: Good. Take her over there to get her change. (Points down the hall.)  
  
Little Girl: You firing me. (Runs off crying.)  
  
Joey: Hey Bob listen. I'm not sure it is a go idea we use my stepdaughter.  
  
Bob: Why not?  
  
Joey: Because I'm afraid that she may go overboard about this.  
  
Bob: Oh I know Rachel. She will be fine.  
  
(Rachel comes walking up on the cell phone.)  
  
Rachel: Ross you would not believe it. All little girl is going to be a TV star. Our or I mean my dreams have finally come true.  
  
~Opening Credits~  
  
(Ross and Katie are come walking up to Joey.)  
  
Ross: So have the shot the screen yet.  
  
Joey: Nope. We been waiting 30 minutes for Jenny?  
  
Ross: What is talking so long?  
  
Joey: Rachel is back there (Points off stage.) with her.  
  
Ross: Oh enough said.  
  
(Rachel and Jenny comes walks up.)  
  
Rachel: Jenny is ready for her TV debut.  
  
Joey: Follow me over here Jenny.  
  
(Joey and Jenny walk onto stage to shoot the screen.)  
  
Rachel: Could you believe this? Our little girl is a TV star.  
  
Ross: Rachel she is not a TV Star.  
  
Rachel: What? (Hurt by the comment.)  
  
Katie: Hey you guys do not fight.  
  
Ross: I'm sorry. Jenny is a TV star.  
  
Rachel: No I'm sorry. I get it just one line on a TV show. But you know it always been my dream to be a TV star.  
  
(Joey and Jenny come walking up to them.)  
  
Joey: We are done with the screen. Only took one take.  
  
Ross: Already?  
  
Rachel: But we did not see it. Go do it again.  
  
Joey: Sorry but they shooting the closing tag and I'm in that.  
  
(Joey runs over towards the set. A lady walks up to them.)  
  
Lady: So who are the parents of this girl?  
  
Rachel: I'm the parent. I mean Ross and I.  
  
Lady: Well she did great. (Hands her a business card.) Give me a call later to set up a meeting. She can be a huge Kid TV Star.  
  
Rachel: Sure thing. Did you here that Jenny. You are going to be a huge star.  
  
(Joey is watching TV with Katie.)  
  
Joey: I did not know you love this show?  
  
Katie: You kidding. I love Bay watch.  
  
Joey: Finally someone out here I can watch it with. I mean Ross and Rachel hates the show.  
  
Katie: Put it on the learning channel he watched it I bet.  
  
(The phone rings. Joey picks it up.)  
  
Joey: Oh hi Chandler. (Stands up and walks away from Katie.) Of course I know it is on. Don't get upset. I was just about to call you.  
  
Katie: Hurry up Joey. The commercial is just about over.  
  
Joey: (Puts has head over the phone.) I will be right there. (Removes his head to talk to Chandler.) Hey dude I have to get going. Yeah we watch it together tomorrow.  
  
(Joey hangs up the phone and walks back over to the couch.)  
  
Katie: So what did Chandler what?  
  
Joey: Oh just my password to a porn web site.  
  
(Ross and Rachel are on a set for a Jenny's TV commercial.)  
  
Rachel: I cannot believe she is going to be in a commercial.  
  
Ross: Are you sure we doing the right thing?  
  
Rachel: What do you mean right thing?  
  
Ross: I just do not want to become spoiled.  
  
Rachel: She is not going to become spoiled. You are just jealous she not a big star in science or something.  
  
Ross: Oh that is not it.  
  
Rachel: Then why are you always doing nerdy stuff with her?  
  
Ross: Because. (Thinking.) Hey this is not want you do. She is not into fashion or anything.  
  
Rachel: This is a lot closer to want I do than want you do.  
  
Ross: Oh yeah.  
  
Rachel: Yeah.  
  
(Jenny and some lady walked up to them.)  
  
Lady: Well we already done?  
  
Rachel: No it can't be. I miss it so go do it again.  
  
Ross: How did you get it done so soon?  
  
Lady: She is just a one-taken wonder.  
  
Jenny: Well I want to go home to watch cartoons. I think that may of help me.  
  
Ross: So you do not like doing this?  
  
Rachel: Of course she does. I mean she loves being a TV star.  
  
(Rachel picks Jenny up and carries her off.)  
  
Lady: I get a feeling from her she does not like doing this that much.  
  
Ross: I do to.  
  
(Joey is sitting at the kitchen table looking at the phone.)  
  
Joey: Ok I just going to tell Chandler the truth. I enjoy watching Bay watch with Katie in person rather than with you on the phone. (He picks up the phone.) Come on Joey you can do this. Just tell him the truth.  
  
(Rachel walks in to the kitchen.)  
  
Rachel: Hi honey.  
  
Joey: Ok I confuse. I'm cheating on your with Katie.  
  
Rachel: (Confuse.) Say that again.  
  
Joey: (Turns around and sees Rachel.) No, no, no Rachel. I meant that I cheating on her with Chandler.  
  
Rachel: Oh that is better.  
  
Joey: In whom I talk with when watching Bay Watch. You would not think I would really cheat on you with Katie or Chandler?  
  
Rachel: Well not with Katie but with Chandler you never know.  
  
Joey: So how did the shooting go with Jenny?  
  
Rachel: Oh it went great. She has another job next week. (Goes to leave the kitchen.) Hey if Jenny is this talented with just Ross's and my genes can you imaged how great these two (Points to her tubby.) are going to be.  
  
Joey: Yeah that is great. (Rachel leaves as Joey dials Chandler's number.) Oh hi Chandler. No I will not be able to watch Bay Watch with you tonight. Because I'm going to watch it with Katie. I'm sorry dude it just more fun when someone is in the same room with you. Of course if you were here I will ditch her for you. Hey maybe we can work something out?  
  
(Ross and Jenny are watching her new commercial at Ross's house.)  
  
Ross: You did great Jenny.  
  
Jenny: I guess. (Looks sad.)  
  
Ross: What wrong honey?  
  
Jenny: I do not have fun doing this.  
  
Ross: Oh I'm sorry honey. You can stop doing this if you want.  
  
Jenny: I do but this makes Mommy so happy so I keep doing it.  
  
Ross: Jenny she would understand if you tell her.  
  
(Rachel comes walking in smiling.)  
  
Rachel: Did I miss the commercial?  
  
Ross: Yes but we got it on tape.  
  
Rachel: Good. (Picks up Jenny.) That way mommy can watch her little star anytime see wants.  
  
Ross: Rachel we need to. (Jenny shakes her head no.) Start looking for an agent for her.  
  
Rachel: Good idea.  
  
(Joey and Katie are watching Bay Watch. Both are on the phone.)  
  
Joey: This is so cool that all three of us can watch and talk about the show at the same time.  
  
Katie: (To Chandler.) You are going to the Bay Watch convention next month?  
  
Joey: You have to send me a sign poster of someone.  
  
Katie: Well it over. I have to get going. (Hangs up the phone, gets up and leaves.)  
  
Joey: Finally she is gone so we can get some alone time.  
  
  
  
The End ~216 TOW Joey's Movie Role~ coming soon 


End file.
